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Drifting Bath Toys Expected To Hit New England
gsx1400 writes " Auntie Beeb is reporting on the 11 year, 5,000+ mile journey by a container load of rubber ducks, The article doesn't go into specifics, but a more detailed analysis of this and other long-distance flotsam is here. This has nasty connotations for the Cargo of the SS Mulheim, which ran aground earlier this year in Cornwall, and has been left to break up. It's estimated that up to 10,000 containers are washed off ships each year, and many of them do not sink, but drift around our oceans, causing pollution and shipping hazards."
Yeah, but generally pollution looks dark and evil. It's not like nice and smilling yellow ducks floating around.
beside, i suspect that's again a tour-de-force from stupid ecologists trying to free donald duck.
-- search the web
The most evil kind of evil is the cute kind of evil. Beware the little duckies.
"They're toys for two-year olds, and they're called Floatees, and they're meant to go into the bathtub with the kids," recounts Ebbesmeyer. "Each package has a green frog and a blue turtle and a yellow duck and a red beaver."
... huh huh. "Red Beaver." eh heh heh.
Ed R.Zahurak
You know, oblivion keeps looking better every day.
I pity the poor ocean-dwelling carnivores which must have gotten a rude shock when they tried to dine on the group of slow-moving, brightly-colored objects thinking them the chance of a lifetime:
Killer whale observes slowly drifting flock of ducks and can't believe his luck.
"Sweet manna from heaven! Bonzai!"
Rises up out of water below them with his huge mouth filled to capacity with the little toys. Seconds later...
"Ptew!" ..spits them out... "What kind of cruel fuckin' joke is this? Goddamn humans!"
GMD
watch this
Now when hundreds of thousands bundles of unmarked cash in nice vacuum-packed plastic wrap start washing on shore... lemme know, k?
.unsigged
Now appearing at your local Red Lobster... Rubber Duck Chowder... Fillet of Rubber Duck... Rubber Duck Scampi... all under $10
Or was that Affleck? I often confuse these two almost-lifelike media characters.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
This is not the first such monster attack against New England. I recall something like this reported on a Cincinatti radio station during the 1970's:
"Monster lizard ravages East Coast! Mayors in five New England cities have issued emergency requests for federal disaster relief as a result of a giant lizard that descended on the East Coast last night! Officials say that this lizard, the worst since '78, has devastated transportation, disrupted communication and left many hundreds homeless!"
(Les Nessman reporting)
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Are you volunteering to strap GPS units to thousands of rubber ducks? Didn't think so.
There was a radio program about beachcombers a while ago and they mentioned that all the right shoes came ashore at one spot and all the left shoes came ashore about 3 miles up the coast. Presumably the sea had sorted them based on their chirality
If it falls off a ship and the entire sealed container floats, it is not pollution. It is an oddly shaped rock of low density with a high iron content on its surface. It is a hazard to navigation.
If it breaks open, whether on the ocean floor, or due to impact, rust, or people breaking it open on a beach, then the "pollution" inside is released. If it's something that sinks then that becomes litter wherever it lands. If it is something that contaminates water then it becomes pollution, although that depends upon your definition of "contamination".
If it's a container full of gold and people have broken it open on a beach -- it will be cleaned up pretty quickly.
I really should take up this beachcombing thing. I mean, can you imagine how cool it'd be if I found something from thisship that was washed up on the beach!
Well, it seems like there's a pretty easy solution to all of this then. Just make everything out of gold.
"If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he's sorely mistaken." Bush on bin Laden
That's odd.
Unfortunately, my seawater separator has malfunctioned and no longer makes gold. I can hook you up with a little hydrogen, or I can make you a great deal on some chlorine gas.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"