Tooth Whitening Products?

DentistsScareMe! asks: "I'll admit it: I've got yellow-stained teeth, and it bugs the hell out of me. I've seen ads (infomercials) over the past few years, but knew them to be mostly hoax products and have steered clear. But now I've noticed the more major (and reputable) pharmaceutical companies jumping into the act, offering their own products. They're moderately expensive ($30-$50), but I'd be willing to foot the large sum _if_ I knew how well they worked. Their ads claim clinical proof, but what exactly does that mean? Did a researcher test the drug on a sample of people to measure effectiveness? Does use of the phrase 'clinically proven' require anything like FDA approval? Has anyone out there used any such product, or know someone who has? Care to comment on how well it has worked?"

Comments

Ask Slashdot: Antifungal Treatments?

[flockofseagulls]

I'll admit it: I've got fungus growing in my genital area and between my toes, and it bugs the hell out of me. I've seen ads (infomercials) over the past few years, but knew them to be mostly hoax products and have steered clear. But now I've noticed RiteAid and Walgreens selling "athletes foot" and "jock itch" treatments. They're moderately expensive ($5-$15), but I'd be willing to foot the large sum _if_ I knew how well they worked. Their ads claim clinical proof, but what exactly does that mean? Did a researcher test the drug on a sample of scrotii to measure effectiveness? Does use of the phrase 'clinically proven' require anything like FDA approval? Has anyone out there used any such product, or know someone who has? Did you use spray, ointment, or powder? Care to comment on how well it has worked? How long can you wear the same socks and underpants with this medication? Would you like to come over and apply the ointment or powder?

Have you tried liquid paper?

[MarkusQ]

Have you tried liquid paper?

If not, don't. Liquid paper is not a good way to whiten your teeth. Normally I wouldn't think it neccessary to point that out, but since you also seemed to have missed the fact that:

Slashdot is not a good place to get medical advice

I thought that it might be worth mentioning.

-- MarkusQ

Re:Have you tried liquid paper?

[kinnell]

Slashdot is not a good place to get medical advice

That's where you're wrong. I happen to be a world renowned dentist and specialise in the whitening of grubby teeth. The solution is as follows:

1. You can't whiten you're teeth completely while there still in you're mouth - either have a dentist remove them, or if that is too expensive, remove them yourself. A pair of pliars will do the trick.
2. You need to dissolve the grime, so leave them to soak for two weeks in a cup of concentrated sulphuric acid. You can order this from a chemical supplier, but your local garage will probably have some in supply.
3. Remove the teeth from the acid, remebering to rinse well in distilled water.
4. Now simply replace you teeth in your mouth used the glue of your choice. I recommend araldite. A strip of gaffer/duct tape can help to hold them in until the glue sets.

Re:Offtopic

[cdrudge]

People ask questions to Slashdot that should be directed to a lawyer all the time here. Why should teeth whitening be any different?

I just asked my lawyer if the teeth whiteners work. He said he didn't know either.