Proof Is In: Kansas Is Flatter Than A Pancake

plotdot writes "When motorists drive across Kansas with its expansive, fertile fields of grain, they most often observe that the state is flat as a pancake. Now, three scientists have proved that observation wrong. The May/June issue of Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) carries a story by Mark Fonstad, William Pugatch, and Brandon Vogt proving that Kansas is actually flatter than a pancake."

Comments

Wrong measure for flatness.

[Ayanami Rei]

I think that "flatness" was incorrectly measured in this case. What should have been used as the flatness measure is the RMS of the discrete slopes in the measurements at a sampling interval measured at the lowest of the two sampling intervals (if the pancake laser raster contained 500 measurements, then only 500 measurements (derived?) of the USGS cross section would be considered).

Fitting an ellipse just tells you if the state is eccentric. If the state was a completely upwards tilted plane, either it's perflectly flat, or it's moderately (but constantly) non-flat. I assume it's the latter. Now imagine a state containing nothing but up-and-down hills of the same gradient as before. According to the ellipsoid measure, the state could be considered flatter, when in fact it is should be less flat because of the changes in grade.

Flatness Humor

[fm6]

I'm reminded of a scene in one of Donald Westlakes weirder caper novels. Two guys are travelling through a really flat section of Oklahoma. One is a stone killer with no sense of humor or irony. They reach a place where the land is so flat and featureless, you can't even see the horizon. The killer turns to the other guy and says, "You know, before the white man came, there was absolutely nothing here!"

Re:I live in Kansas...

[Fritzed]

Ok, I'll be honest and say I haven't seen a lot of Kansas. I've only been in it for short bursts because Nebraska's main airport is right on the state borderline. However, if the "hills" in Nebraska are similar to the "hills" in Kansas, and I'll bet they are, they are very gradual. The average slope on the hills can't be more than 7 degrees, the real steep hills having a 10 degree slope.

Now this doesn't mean the hills or valleys don't have an impact on the landscape. On the contrary, they stand out because there are so few of them. However, they are only noticable because that slope continues for a quarter mile so while looking across the vast open spaces you see a break in the nothingness.

Back to my point, flatness is affected more by extreme changes in altitude than it is gradual ones, so these hills hardly affect the scale of flatness. Pancakes, have heavy drops at their edges which drastically reduce flatness and several deep (relatively) pits produced by bubbles popped near they end of their cooking. Each one of these pits probably effects flatness more than a Kansas hill.

I spent way too much time on this post.

->Fritz

I-70

[wowbagger]

The single biggest problem is that Interstate 70 (which runs across the northern section of the state) goes through some of the most MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING terrain I've ever seen, and since that is how most people who cross the state see it they form an unjustified opinion.

Most of Kansas used to be inland see, millenia ago. Hence the flatness - the ocean bottom deposited uniformly across the state.

However, IF you are going to be going through Kansas, let me give you some pointers on where to go:

Southeastern section: Go see Big Brutus in West Mineral, KS.. If you have any interest in mechanical engineering you'll love this.

South Central: The Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center has the best collection of Russian space hardware outside Russia itself, as well as US gear. They were the first to be made a Smithsonian partner, and that was as much so that the Smithsonian could gain access to the Cosmospere's collection as the other way around. Hutchinson, KS - and if you were planning on going across on I-70 I's suggest you drop down on I-35 (throught the Flint Hills)to US-50 then across into Hutch. Stop by Yoder, KS and get some Cinnamon Rolls at the Carriage Crossing Restaurant.
If you are going towards New Mexico, drop down and take I-160 from Medicine Lodge through the Gypsum Hills. There IS scenery in Kansas - we just don't run our major roads through it.

North West: If you are heading to Denver, you pretty much have to take either I-70 or K-96. If you are on I-70, stop through Quinter, KS and see Castle Rock, a natural formation akin to the Badlands in South Dakota.
Also, you can go to Monument Rocks which is a similar sort of geography.
Also on I-70 in Hays, KS is the Sternberg Museum of Natural History which will be a hit with any parent of children who are interested in dinosaurs.