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Proof Is In: Kansas Is Flatter Than A Pancake
plotdot writes "When motorists drive across Kansas with its expansive, fertile fields of grain, they most often observe that the state is flat as a pancake. Now, three scientists have proved that observation wrong. The May/June issue of Annals of Improbable Research
(AIR) carries a story by Mark Fonstad, William Pugatch, and Brandon Vogt proving that Kansas is actually flatter than a pancake."
the Annals of Improbable Research group do. Quite interesting if your extremly bored i might say.
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Pancake sales in Kansas increase by 20% because the Citizens of Kansas now feel in some way superior to the pancakes!
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I think that "flatness" was incorrectly measured in this case. What should have been used as the flatness measure is the RMS of the discrete slopes in the measurements at a sampling interval measured at the lowest of the two sampling intervals (if the pancake laser raster contained 500 measurements, then only 500 measurements (derived?) of the USGS cross section would be considered).
Fitting an ellipse just tells you if the state is eccentric. If the state was a completely upwards tilted plane, either it's perflectly flat, or it's moderately (but constantly) non-flat. I assume it's the latter. Now imagine a state containing nothing but up-and-down hills of the same gradient as before. According to the ellipsoid measure, the state could be considered flatter, when in fact it is should be less flat because of the changes in grade.
THIS THING CAN TURN ON A DIME, MACROSSZERO STYLE ALSO FUCK BETA, ~NYORON
Its not exactly hilly like a costal California city might be, but most of it isn't too flat. I live in the Kansas City area; there's plenty of hills around. And when I'm not in KC I'm attending school at KSU, where it is also not flat. The region is called the Flint Hills. Not the Flint Plains, nor the Flint Flatter-than-Pancakes. Hills.
Of course, do be warned, I've never lived on a pancake, so my anecdotal evidence might be flawed =).
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"But then again that's as useful as complaining it's not news for nerds, stuff that matters."
Who but a nerd would correct somebody about the flatness of Kansas when compared to a fluffy brekfast food?
Declaring kansas flatter than a pancake based upon a comparison to ONE pancake hardly seems fair. A mean value for the flatness of a pancake should have been derived from multiple pancakes and a standard deviation value given. Besides, you get hash browns and a side of variable meat with the 3-pancake special at IHOP.
to which my friend calmly replied -> I'm reminded of a scene in one of Donald Westlakes weirder caper novels. Two guys are travelling through a really flat section of Oklahoma. One is a stone killer with no sense of humor or irony. They reach a place where the land is so flat and featureless, you can't even see the horizon. The killer turns to the other guy and says, "You know, before the white man came, there was absolutely nothing here!"
One of my friends was hitch-hiking across Kansas/Oklahoma when a really weird guy picked him up. They drove for miles and miles without the guy saying anything or even looking at him. Finally he said in a low, slow voice, with his eyes fixed steadily on the road ahead -
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
...when you consider that the globe would be smoother than a squash (or racket) ball if it were shrunk to the same size.
All things in moderation; including moderation
The single biggest problem is that Interstate 70 (which runs across the northern section of the state) goes through some of the most MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING terrain I've ever seen, and since that is how most people who cross the state see it they form an unjustified opinion.
Most of Kansas used to be inland see, millenia ago. Hence the flatness - the ocean bottom deposited uniformly across the state.
However, IF you are going to be going through Kansas, let me give you some pointers on where to go:
Southeastern section: Go see Big Brutus in West Mineral, KS.. If you have any interest in mechanical engineering you'll love this.
South Central: The Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center has the best collection of Russian space hardware outside Russia itself, as well as US gear. They were the first to be made a Smithsonian partner, and that was as much so that the Smithsonian could gain access to the Cosmospere's collection as the other way around. Hutchinson, KS - and if you were planning on going across on I-70 I's suggest you drop down on I-35 (throught the Flint Hills)to US-50 then across into Hutch. Stop by Yoder, KS and get some Cinnamon Rolls at the Carriage Crossing Restaurant.
If you are going towards New Mexico, drop down and take I-160 from Medicine Lodge through the Gypsum Hills. There IS scenery in Kansas - we just don't run our major roads through it.
North West: If you are heading to Denver, you pretty much have to take either I-70 or K-96. If you are on I-70, stop through Quinter, KS and see Castle Rock, a natural formation akin to the Badlands in South Dakota.
Also, you can go to Monument Rocks which is a similar sort of geography.
Also on I-70 in Hays, KS is the Sternberg Museum of Natural History which will be a hit with any parent of children who are interested in dinosaurs.
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This research is faulty in many ways. They did not account for anisotropy is the samples (i.e. different flatness in different directions) and they fail to mention if the pancake was from the bottom or the top of the stack. Also, I don't think a confocal microscope is the best tool- they probably could have gotten better results with a stylus or an AFM (Atomic Food Microscopy) instrument. With an AFM they could have also nano-indented the sample to hold more syrup. The pancake measurement seems under-sampled from both the digital image processing and the confocal measurements, and it was probably stale well before they finished. I think that this report would have a 'rougher' time in any peer-reviewed journal.
P.S. Their next research- seeing if the humid summer air is really thicker (more viscous?) than the leftover maple syrup...