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Wearing a Tie May Cause Blindness!
An anonymous reader noted that there finally is some science to justify not wearing a tie! Doctors have found that wearing a tie too tight causes pressure on the jugular vein, which leads to a build-up of pressure in the eyeballs. Such pressure rises have been linked to glaucoma, which causes blindness. Now, if only some kind researchers could get us all out of wearing pants at the office, we'd be set!
...Sex with mares may cure blindness!
M' kay?
My native language is not English, so I can not do it. Somebody please submit a story about Linux video editing software! THIS IS SOMETHING RADICAL AND EARTH SHAKIN'! Superior _professional_ video editing software made by some uberintelligent individual for Linux and it is open source! A truly unbelievable thing! Kudos to the programmer!
Here's description from the website:
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Movie studio in a box.
Heroine Virtual Ltd. presents an advanced compositing and editing system for native Linux at no cost to users.
Native Linux: that means no emulation of proprietary operating systems and no additional commercial software required. When you run a native Linux program, it's like you wrote the software yourself and are completely untied from corporate interests.
Of course, Linux isn't the first word that comes to mind when you think of content creation. Neither would you dare say Linux and general purpose computing in the same sentence, unless you were insane. That was before Cinelerra was invented.
For guys like you - Linux gurus who also like general purpose computing - there's eliteness in doing the unusual. You want to create your own niche. You want to try things no-one else will.
Cinelerra is not for consumer use. If ease of use, simplicity, and convenience are your thing, you should use Virtualdub, Kino, MJPEG tools or MainActor instead.
If you want to make movies, you want the compositing and editing that the big boys use, you want the efficiency of an embedded UNIX operating system combined with the power of a general purpose PC, or you just want to defy the establishment, the time has come to download Cinelerra.
Along the way, we discovered video processing takes too long to do on a single computer so we put renderfarm support into Cinelerra. The biggest difference between this renderfarm and normal renderfarms is you don't need to pay for node licenses.
Then of course, you don't want to wait for effects to render before finding the result of your tweeking, so now there's background renderfarm. For now on, no effect is too slow, no resolution too high, to get realtime previews. Keep piling on terrahertz Athlons and terrabit ethernet to background render more. No terrahertz Athlon? Make someone invent it. With background renderfarm, the only limit is the crumbling national economy.
Imagine a laptop which didn't need dongles to run anything. Imagine not having to phone in and wait a week to renew licenses every week.
Now Cinelerra is by no means a lightweight program. You'll need something slightly less sexy than a handheld organizer to run it most effectively.
I worked for a Broking company (uk) and never wore Trouser's, always combats (leg side pockets), they offered me a position in Australia that i took, after i left they sent an e-mail to all staff, requiring them to wear trouser's and not combats.
Thought you'd find this amusing!
The pessure of the pants worn to tightly on human flesh can cause the swelling of the anus, as exibited here:
<img src="http://www.iespana.es/goatse/gap4.jpg">
The above post was neither Funny nor was it Offtopic, it was Ontopic and true, I suggest you reajust the moderation accordingly before you get screwed by meta-moderation.
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spanking the monkey, ...
choking the chicken,
taking old one-eye to the optomotrist,
wearing a tie
somehow it just doesn't have the same ring to it. kids today need better euphomisms, methinks.
This may help explain why clergy rarely wear western fashions while on duty. Bring this up, and you might be able to get out of wearing a tie (cite religious reasons, or declare celibacy).
It might also explain the popularity of white lab coats and bowties at hospitals (where doctors may want to avoid triggering this instinct in their vulnerable patients and staff...)
Maybe a bow-tie triggers the "He's done" recognizer.
I don't know what to think of those through the knot tie collar pins, though...
Is someone who's flexible enough to conform to business fashion to achieve business goals more likely to be flexible enough conform to a mate's bending to reach the mate's goals as well? Or just more likely to be secure?