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Part Two: Technical Self-Employment For All

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the business-cards-for-all dept.

MoNickels writes "I've posted part two of the article series encouraging the unemployed to take up freelance technical support, including advice on knowing if this work is right for you, marketing yourself, learning on the job, handling and educating clients, managing the business, the temperament required, and the negative aspects of the work." See part one if you missed it.

19 of 270 comments (clear)

  1. I make lots of money freelancing by typical+geek · · Score: 0, Funny

    I have a PEARL script that downloads porn from my newsreader, then I use mkisofs and cdrrecord to put onto CDs, which I sell to horny junior high kids without broadband, $5 a CD.

    Thanks Open Source!

    1. Re:I make lots of money freelancing by leviramsey · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sir: I have patented that business model. I shall be suing you forthwith.

  2. Eh, whatever you do... by ambisinistral · · Score: 5, Funny
    Don't print your business card in Elfin. Showing up to your first meeting with a potential client dressed as a Klingon is a bad idea too.

    --

    deserve's got nothing to do with it...

    1. Re:Eh, whatever you do... by Esion+Modnar · · Score: 4, Funny
      Showing up to your first meeting with a potential client dressed as a Klingon is a bad idea too.

      Of course. Everybody knows that dressing up as a Romulan is a much better idea.

      --

      They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
    2. Re:Eh, whatever you do... by WTFmonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nope. He's a businessman. Go with a Ferengi.

    3. Re:Eh, whatever you do... by endoboy · · Score: 2, Funny

      you might also want to avoid mentioning that you think that "Star Trek is Literature"

  3. Re:Only one answer... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Don't get sick.

  4. Re:Only one question.. by pogle · · Score: 3, Funny

    3 words: Don't get sick...

    --
    http://thechubbyferret.net - Ferret pictures and informative links.
  5. charge money? by thorgil · · Score: 5, Funny

    You mean I can charge people for the work i do?!

    --
    Warning: This sig contains a small bug. ==> *
  6. It sucks... by Ironpoint · · Score: 5, Funny


    Damn, tech support sucks.

    Tech support sucks because people don't want you touching their Porn Station 9000, aka company laptop. Thats sound like a good idea from a sanitary standpoint. Note to users: I will not sit on your lap to work on your computer. MOVE.

    Employee: You guys gonna help me?

    Nick Burns: Show me what you're doing..

    Employee: Well, I'm trying to save it.. so I downloaded it..

    Nick Burns: Uh-huh.

    Employee: ..and then I pushed..

    Nick Burns: Yeah.

    Employee: ..this button, and I..

    Nick Burns: Uh-huh. Yeah. MOVE! God, do you run the Internet on this thing? It looks like it's got a 28.8, or something! [ techies laugh ]

    Jingle: "'Cause he's Nick Burns, your Company Computer Guy!"

  7. Old lady... by superpulpsicle · · Score: 4, Funny

    I helped this old lady on some freelance work way back with Corel wordperfect. Was that a mistake. Here are some questions I got...

    -Why didn't Corel wordperfect come with a pen?
    -Where do I buy ink if the typewriter runs out of ink?
    -If I press delete does that delete everything?
    -I heard it comes with a dictionary. Can I upgrade to an encyclopedia set?
    -Does this program open on sundays and saturdays?

  8. Re:This is an easy one by Zork+the+Almighty · · Score: 2, Funny

    1999-2000 : Thwarted Evil Diabolical Plan

    --

    In Soviet America the banks rob you!
  9. Re:This is an easy one by Shant3030 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well since you are dealing with lawyers, you have to bullshit, because that's the only thing they know.

    If you tell them that the flux capacitor on the intranode serial bus is broken, they'll just shake their head and pretend they know more about that subject than you.

    --
    100% Insightful
  10. Self-employment guidelines... by bytesmythe · · Score: 5, Funny
    A few of these caught my eye...

    -- I almost always solve my own computer problems on my own, or as the result of my own research.

    Sure. Google is an amazing resource.

    -- My friends, coworkers and family often turn to me for help with their computers and peripherals.

    ... and I am in no hurry to exacerbate the situation by subjecting myself to it intentionally.

    -- My own computer probably would work very well if I didn't keep installing alpha, beta, development and trial software on it all the time.

    I love fdisk.

    -- I can usually quickly find what I'm looking for on the Internet.

    Oh god... no comment.

    -- I read constantly, and just about everything.

    Right now it's Slashdot.

    -- I rarely have a problem explaining myself.

    Well, you see, officer...

    -- I am somewhat sociable, but I can work for long periods on my own, too.

    Sociable? ME?? Hahahaha!

    -- Although I hate the term "self-starter," that's what I am.

    No, I'm not! Procrastination is the root of all goofing off.

    -- I believe all computer peripherals and devices are hot-swappable unless someone else is around.

    What, is this Schrodinger's Computer? Once, I closed my eyes and with no one else watching, I jammed an old PCI Voodoo card into the AGP slot with the machine still running. The damn thing worked until I opened my eyes and its wave function collapsed...

    -- I only keep my AOL account so I can more easily get my email from any web browser anywhere.

    What geek would pay money to AOL when it's cheaper to just sign up with a host that provides webmail?

    -- I get a lot of spam, but I block or filter most of it, so it's not an issue for me anymore.

    I don't give out my email address to everyone and their grandmother, so spam isn't a big problem to begin with.

    -- Unix is like a lover to me: I don't understand it very well, and it makes me angry sometimes, but I am still in love with it.

    This one is just too sad. Sure, unix has some kinky command names, but nothing like actually engaging in their real-life namesakes.

    -- I have some computer books on the shelf, but I only use them as references, not as literature.

    This should be just the opposite, I think. I bet a lot of computer geeks read computer literature, not just "manuals".

    -- I see nothing wrong with strapping a wireless PDA with GPS to the dog so that we can log his roaming patterns through the neighborhood.

    The gadgetry (and possibly the dog) would get stolen in my neighborhood!

    So, do I qualify to be an entrepreneur?

    --
    bytesmythe
    Hypocrisy is the resin that holds the plywood of society together.
    -- Scott Meyer
    1. Re:Self-employment guidelines... by MobileC · · Score: 2, Funny

      "-- Unix is like a lover to me: I don't understand it very well, and it makes me angry sometimes, but I am still in love with it.

      This one is just too sad. Sure, unix has some kinky command names, but nothing like actually engaging in their real-life namesakes."

      Mutt?

      --

      Fran
      :):):)
      1st 1st Poster of the new Millennium!

  11. Upsell by Animats · · Score: 1, Funny
    Every one of those questions is a sales opportunity:
    • Why didn't Corel wordperfect come with a pen?
      Would you like to buy this tablet computer, on sale this week?
    • -Where do I buy ink if the typewriter runs out of ink?
      We're having a sale on inkjet cartridges...
    • -If I press delete does that delete everything?
      To delete everything so that nobody can ever read it again, you need this special program.
    • -I heard it comes with a dictionary. Can I upgrade to an encyclopedia set?
      Of course. Just click here to order Encyclopaedia Britannica.
    • -Does this program open on sundays and saturdays?
      Yes, but if you don't want it to, we can put in a timer that shuts it down on weekends.
  12. Obligatory Simpsons Quote by Nova+Express · · Score: 4, Funny



    Kang: Technical Self-Employment for all!

    Crowd: BOOOO!

    Kang: Technical Self-Employment for none!

    Crowd: BOOOO!

    Kang: Alright then, Technical Self-Employment For some, tiny American flags for all!

    Crowd: YAAAAAAAAA!

    --
    Lawrence Person (lawrencepersonh@gmailh.com (remove all "h"s to mail)

    http://www.lawrenceperson.com/

  13. sounds like a flirt to me... by syukton · · Score: 5, Funny

    The client I mentioned earlier who is very sweet but not very bright was one of those clients who refused to learn, and a client I had to let go. She's very young, too, in her early twenties. I believe she was perfectly capable of learning what she needed to know, with a little bit of effort, but she constantly called on the same issues. And I constantly had to recite the same solutions over and over. She refused to be educated (see below for more about client- and self-education). She's one of those people who are used to relying too much on others, and are happy with being told there are no stupid questions.

    Hmm. Sweet young lady calling every day about the same stupid issues. hmmmm. I'd like to venture a guess here that maybe she's turned on by your intellect and wanted to screw you eight ways from tuesday. Now that, my friend, is the kind of client you pass on to another reasonably intelligent tech, unless you're willing to take it yourself. ;)

    --
    Reinvent the wheel only at either a lower cost, greater effectiveness, or your own personal enrichment and satisfaction.
  14. Re:Only one question.. by nitehorse · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...Then ask your employer how much it would cost to add your girlfriend to your policy, if you were to get married.

    Heheheheheh.

    Girlfriend? Wrong site, man. :)