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US Navy buys Apple as Linux Platform
Nine Mirrors Turning writes "According to the Register the US Navy has ordered 260 XServe servers running Yellow Dog Linux from Terra Soft Solutions. Terra Soft is the only reseller allowed to resell Apple hardware with a third-party operating system installed. The XServes will be modified by a unnamed third-party and will be running a custom kernel. The XServes are destined for US Navy submarines and will be used for real-time image processing. I do wonder how many will be installed on each sub, though. Are we talking clustering here? I didn't even know the USN was running Linux on front-line ships."
Actually the /. Troll Howto has FP, so fuck you you fucking cumvat.
...to diffuse the gay sailor image any more than the snow-white knickers and jaunty art cap did!!!
Here's some more hints on how to troll.
1: People's browser preference also simulates religion. I started a heavy flamewar on an Opera 7.0 patch under the name "Josh Crawley".
2: Just plain LIE. If people want to know something and everybody's alking, claim to be the "specialist". It's a great way to get mod points quickly.
3: Come over as sensible, but flame more and more as posts go on. That idea is like a fly sticky trap. 1 draws in more, and more draw in more yet.
4: If you do Karma trolls or post repetitive things, have the last 30 replies DIFFERENT trolls so your history doesnt show anything.
5: Never claim to be a troll, as a user can link to it and ruin your moderation.
6: If you want to post nasty pics (goatse comes to mind), use a DYNdns-like account and point it towards goatse. Then when somebody says it's nasty, change it. If you want karma, have it "good", then change it to really nasty, then back to good when somebody complains.
7: Make sure to have multiple accounts to 'test' ideas. It's also goo to respond to your own threads so both get moderated up. NEVER choose name that sounds trollish. -1 immediately. Fake names are good.
8: Unless you know everybody will laugh, dont post funnies. Some mods enjoy -1'ing them for the hell of it.
EVERY moderator should be reading this post and the parent BEFORE moderating. It can save you from upping crap while taking a HEAVY M2 hit, and getting good posts out of 0, or 1 cesspool.
You bitch. *simper*
Thanks. Now, I would subsequently like another mod point, but I would prefer this one be "Troll."
/*- Mohammed -*/
Dear Apple,
I am a homosexual. I bought an Apple computer because of its well earned reputation for being "the" gay computer. Since I have become an Apple owner, I have been exposed to a whole new world of gay friends. It is really a pleasure to meet and compute with other homos such as myself. I plan on using my new Apple computer as a way to entice and recruit young schoolboys into the homosexual lifestyle; it would be so helpful if you could produce more software which would appeal to young boys. Thanks in advance.
with much gayness,
Captain Randy "Pudge" O'Day, US Navy
Dear Captain O'Day:
Thanks for your letter. Being Catholic myself, I know exactly what you're talking about! It has always been our plan here at Apple Computer Inc to revolutionize personal computing with our high-quality and highly gay products.
I'm happy to answer your letter by letting you know that YES we will be releasing an entire hLife ("homo-life") software line. You'll be able to recognize it in stores by the small stylized logo depicting a large cock entering a tight anus with an Apple logo on it. ("Suddenly it all comes together" indeed!).
Anyway, I hope you and other members of our community will join us on our mission, and purchase the exciting new hLife boxed set. Only the boxed set comes with translucent cock rings!
Sincerely,
Harry Rodman
Vice-president
Homosexual Liaison Services
Apple Computer, Inc.
Gay shit. I want to be a human toilet. I've been looking for the right nasty little boy who can train me and use me like the brown log shredder that I am-- sit me under a toilet seat and go to town pumping fudge into my mustachioed maw. I thought that by buying a Mac I'd get into the scene, and make some hot hookups with colons packed to the gills in crap worms. So far, however, I've been disppointed.
Mr. Jobs, I plead with you to release more information regarding getting into the hardcore underground stool swallowing scene. All I can think about is gobbling down an 18" ass-birth fresh from the fart factory. Mac users popping squats over my face and letting loose with a tempest of farts and raining a hail of turds.
I hope you can help me with this issue.
Thank you.