Slashdot Mirror
New Microsoft Mouse Scrolls Both Ways
Library Spoff writes "The BBC are reporting that Microsoft are bringing out a mouse that will use the scroll wheel to tilt as well as roll. The innovation means that users will be able to scroll vertically as well as horizontally without using on-screen navigation bars." How long before I get a trackball embedded in my mouse?
this sure will help me keep one hand free while looking at these 1600x1200 "pictures."
Introducing, the Microsoft BiMouse. That Mouse that Scrolls Both Ways (tm)
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
MAN AT BAR: [coughs conspicuously, smiles]
WOMAN AT BAR: [politely but nervously smiles back]
MAN AT BAR: My, uh, mouse goes both ways, if you know what I mean.
WOMAN AT BAR: [begins to quietly edge away]
There's more to life than webpages.
Some people use some sort of crazy software called a "spreadsheet" or some stuff, and it goes sideways and up and down and back and forth and all topsy turvy in a world where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is as it seems.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
What, you mean Microsoft copied something from Apple? This is news... how?
Am I the only one who uses a repeated backward "flick" of the finger to get through a document really quickly? If the wheel didn't have any resistance it wouldn't stop, and wouldn't be to useful.
Another bonus feature of this new mouse is that is only clicks Microsoft programs and products.
For your safety, the mouse will not open any programs that Microsoft doesn't make money off of. It could be a virus.
Furthermore, whenever you do click a Microsoft product, the mouse will waste your bandwidth be automatically connecting the internet, contacting Microsoft, and checking all your serial numbers to make sure your licenses are up to date.
Then, if you have old software that has an update release from Microsoft, the mouse will open a browser where you can download updates (for a fee of course).
Then to save you the hassle, the mouse will move the cursor over the Download Updates link and click for you, automatically charging your credit card.
We hope you enjoy your new Microsoft mouse with added features. And don't forget to sign your EULA before opening the package.
Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
A ballsy mouse!
HEY!!! ....
SCO has the exclusive copyright on the multi-scrolling mouse. Prepared for exortion!!!!
Oh, wait, is that you Mr. Gates? Sorry, we didn't mean to.. eh.. we just got a bit carried away, yes, we do remember, oh please let's still be friends.. it'll never, ever happen again.... sorry
Obligatory Simpsons parody:
On my mouse, I need buttons here, here, and here that activate the horn in my car. You can never seem to find the horn when you get mad while surfing the web.
Eraser-head poinrer you say? We always called this... well, I can't tell you what we called it because I'm at work. Use your imagination, dude!
"simpsons did it!"
// "Can't clowns and pirates just -try- to get along?"
Haha what? You mean apple made an innovation to a mouse? Next to the single button whats next, the single button keyboard? I sure hope its the ESC key.
..There's a-dooin's a-transpirin'
That's it, Microsoft is gay.
No, really. Their mouse goes both ways, their products have lots of loose back doors...
Somebody get that guy an ambulance!
Corollary 19.1:
Once someone says "Apple already did that," the probability of another smartass stepping in and saying "Xerox did it before Apple" is also 1.
That's interresting. I hate the windows buttons too, not because they do anything, but because they remind me of that other operating system.
:)
In fact, I dislike them so much that just earlier today I took them off and used that stuff you use to polish wood (sorry, I'm not an english native speaker, so I don't know the word for swedish "sandpapper"). Anyway, now they're just gray buttons, so perhaps now I can bind them in fluxbox without feeling bad about pressing the evilOS-button
Microsoft says they invented something...
/. believed them!!!
...and
I've been using this kind of mouse for some year...
Trust sells something similar, A4tech does, so that's nothing new. Just the same old "innovation" from Microsoft.