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Playing God with Monsters

Posted by Hemos on from the lookiing-into-the-minds-of-terrible dept.

Howard writes "Horrified by "There Be Monsters Here" tales, some members of Congress called for a ban on DNA research in the mid '70s. Because those calls were rejected, millions of people around the world can now hope for DNA-based vaccines against AIDS, malaria and other deadly diseases that have destroyed lives, communities and nations. Here's an illustration: The name of Joseph DeRisi keeps coming up in connection with deadly diseases. No, he's not a modern-day Typhoid Mary. Just the opposite. The University of California, San Francisco researcher is using his own custom-built DNA microarrays to look inside the "minds" of some serious serial killers. The "minds" are genes, and his home-brewed gene chips helped solve the SARS mystery earlier this year. Now, DeRisi has chosen malaria as his next victim. For the complete commentary, please go to Howard Lovy's NanoBot."

13 of 343 comments (clear)

  1. Monster me! by RocketRay · · Score: 2, Funny

    God, shmod, I want my monkey-man!

  2. Speaking as a representative for seial killers by Ryvar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Speaking as a representative for seial killers everywhere, I for one find the wording of this post offensive. No mere simple biological 'machine' could replicate the beauty and artistry of my vast bodies of work in the field of serial killing.

    I for one hope Slashdot's editors issue an apology and a retraction.

  3. Finally... by Guano_Jim · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...the world will know the glory of the FIVE-ASSED MONKEY!

    Or maybe not. Call your congresspeoples and demand your five-assed monkey.

    --
    3D Printing Tips and Tricks at Zheng3.com
  4. Re:how about artificial hearts? by WTFmonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    The baboon-to-baby heart transplant caused a small ruckus; it was the "red-assed-baboon-to-baby" ass transplant that was the real fiasco.

  5. Re:What is humanity? by dreadnougat · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oh come on now. Haven't you ever played deus ex? You don't need genetic engineering for super human strength! :)

  6. Metaphor Cuisinart by meeotch · · Score: 4, Funny
    DeRisi found that the secret to malaria's success is its simplicity - regulated by only 10 genes compared with, say, 141 in yeast and more than a thousand in human cells. So, malaria is not the brightest bug in the biosphere, but it does its job with a single-mindedness, turning on each gene just before it's needed - like an assassin pumping his rifle.

    I bet it would take a long time to snipe someone to death with an air rifle.

    thwap!

    OW - Quit it.

    thwap!

    OW - Quit it.

    thwap!

  7. Well, that's nothing by default+luser · · Score: 2, Funny

    Thanks to the power of modern genetics, we can provide something the world really needs. ...like a monkey with five asses!

    --

    Man is the animal that laughs.
    And occasionally whores for Karma.

    1. Re:Well, that's nothing by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 3, Funny

      Thanks to the power of modern genetics, we can provide something the world really needs. ...like a monkey with five asses!

      Neil Young and Pearl Jam already gave us this, but I forget what the album's called.

      --
      Like what I said? You might like my music
    2. Re:Well, that's nothing by Ken+Broadfoot · · Score: 4, Funny

      "we can provide something the world really needs. ...like a monkey with five asses!"

      We have...

      Monkey: George Bush
      Ass #1 -- Donald Rumsfeld
      Ass #2 -- John Aschcroft
      Ass #3 -- Tom Ridge
      Ass #4 -- Dick Cheney
      Ass #5 -- Colin Powell

      There are actually a bunch more asses than this but here is five.

      --ken

      --
      Bitcoin pyramid: Join here: http://www.bitcoinpyramid.com/r/1427 it's FREE!
  8. Poor Malaria by SpamJunkie · · Score: 2, Funny

    Poor Malaria, I knew you well.

    Heh, uh, I mean, I didn't know you at all... *cough*. Nervous laughter.

    Well, then, good riddance.

  9. Re:Sad, that. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Have you never seen planet of the apes? They would do the very same to us, given the opportunity.

  10. Re:Artificial Heart Valves? by The_dev0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Here's a word of advice then; NEVER send him anywhere via post.

    --
    Never fight naked, unless you're in prison...
  11. The main problem with ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 2, Funny
    destroying the whole Universe (I'm assuming you mean in one fell swoop and not piecemeal) is that it leaves you no place to stand poised before your defeated enemies and let forth with a mighty "Mwuhahahaha!!!"

    It also gives you no opportunity to confront those who had scorned you back in grade school/high school/college/grad school/job/life and let loose with your well deserved "Who's a loser now, huh?"

    Don't get me wrong. Sure Universe destroying has it's attractions. But all in all, I'll stick with world domination, thank you very much.