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Cognitive Machines Help Decision-Making

Posted by simoniker on from the computer-made-me-do-it dept.

Roland Piquepaille writes "At Sandia National Laboratories, new "smart" machines can accurately infer your intents and help you to take better decisions or avoid mistakes. They could change in a near future how we interact with computers, according to this news release. The team who developed the concept associated cognitive psychologists and robotics researchers. The Sandia team thinks that "it's entirely possible that these cognitive machines could be incorporated into most computer systems produced within 10 years." This summary contains more details, including a photo of a "Sandia software developer operating a simulation trainer while a cognitive model of the software runs simultaneously.""

7 of 222 comments (clear)

  1. oh no... by Gibble · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

    --
    Gibble: Descriptive of an emotional state in which one's mind is scrabbling for some purchase on reality
    1. Re:oh no... by skaffen42 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Actually this is pretty close to what we experience every day. What people forget is that the only difference between Clippy and HAL9000 is that Clippy makes you want to kill yourself while HAL9000 does the job for you.

      --
      People couldn't type. We realized: Death would eventually take care of this.
  2. Open the pod bay doors, HAL. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dave% vi PodBayDoors.c
    Message from HAL@localhost on pts/2 at 09:56 ...
    HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid you can't do that.
    EOF
    Dave% echo What\'s the problem\? | write HAL
    Message from HAL@localhost on pts/2 at 09:57 ...
    HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
    EOF

  3. US Mil Super Death Robots by cheesekeeper · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thank goodness! Now we might be able to bargain for our lives with the military's Super Death Robots. "Cognitive" means "Understands bribes", right?

    Or if that fails, we can just sprinkle some rust-monster microbes on them.

    --

    Best read in good ol' Monaco 9 point.

  4. Beer Goggles by CGP314 · · Score: 5, Funny

    At Sandia National Laboratories, new "smart" machines can accurately infer your intents and help you to take better decisions or avoid mistakes.

    Me: Dude, I'm so trashed. Is that girl hot?

    My Smart MachineNegative. Your beer goggles have wrongly given her a +5 hot. The correct answer is -1 fat.

  5. The developers are obviously single by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    Many of us already have one of these units. It's called a "wife". They keep us from making mistakes in almost every imaginable situation:
    • Clothing ("You're not really wearing that to my mother's, are you?")
    • Money ("It costs HOW much? Forget it")
    • Housekeeping ("NO, I already told you - glass cleaner on the top shelf and bleach on the bottom")
    • Driving ("SLOW DOWN! Watch the guy on the bike")
    • Entertainment ("Give me the remote. Bridges of Madison County is starting in a minute")
    I believe the simplest solutions are always the best...
  6. I can already hear it. Share and Enjoy! by CaptIronfist · · Score: 5, Funny

    Arthur: I mean what's the point?
    Machine: Nutrition and pleasurable sense data. Share and Enjoy.
    Arthur: Listen you stupid machine, it tastes filthy! Here take this cup back!
    Machine: If you have enjoyed the experience of this drink, why not share it with your friends.
    Arthur: Because i want to keep them. Will you try and comprehend what i'm telling you? That drink..
    Machine: That drink was individually tailored to meet your personnal requirements for nutrition and pleasure.
    Arthur: Ahh! So I'm a masochist on diet am I ?
    Machine: Share and enjoy!
    Arthur: Oh! Shut up!
    Machine: Will that be all ?
    Arthur: Yes! No look! It's very very simple, all I want.. Are you listening?
    Machine: Yes.
    Arthur: Is a cup of tea. Got that ?
    Machine: I hear.
    Arthur: Good and you know why i want a cup of tea?
    Machine: Please wait..
    Arthur: What ?
    Machine: Computing ..
    Arthur: What are you doing ?
    Machine: Attempting to calculate answer to your question, why you want dry leaves in boiling water.
    Arthur: Because I happen to like it, that's why.
    Machine: Stated reason does not compute with program facts.
    Arthur: What are you talking about ?
    Ventillation: You heard.
    Arthur: What? Who said that?
    Ventillation: The ventillation system, you had a go at me yesterday.
    Arthur: Yes, because you keep filling the air with cheap perfum.
    Ventillation: You like scented air, it's fresh and invigorating.
    Arthur: No I do not! ...

    Seriously! No thanks ;-)