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Palm Reveals New Name
dmehus writes "Milpitas, Calif. based Palm Inc. announced Sunday afternoon the new name and moniker for its handheld hardware business. After almost two years in the planning and focus group stages, the company's Board of Directors and executives decided on PalmOne. PalmOne's ticker symbol will change from the current PALM to PLMO. Sister company PalmSource, which will be the operating system business, takes ticker symbol PSRC. According this report by CNET News.com's Ina Fried, the two companies will be publicly traded, but they will also be controlled by a new holding company. In addition, the Spring 2004 line of handhelds will adopt the PalmOne moniker. Devices that run the Palm OS can continue to say "Palm powered." The new ticker symbols and corporate name changes will take affect some time in late September or early October, once the Palm buyout of rival HandSpring is complete."
They didn't even make it fully buzzword compliant. There's no '.' in there or 'e' anywhere... What about 'flex' or 'i'?
Life is the leading cause of death in America.
Geez, two years to decide to change your name from Palm to PalmOne. I am soooo in the wrong business.
Or is the name "PalmOne" almost an invitation to steal the thing?
Download my free songs!
they probably actually paid a marketing company a million bucks to come up with that lame-ass name!
Hell, I would have thought one up for 50 bucks. here's a freebie:
"Shaznasta"
T.
...it worked so well for Real. I mean, realOne is just such brilliant, usefull software. Hopefully they don't add the bloat, that what makes them nicer the windows mobile devices (for business purposes). Because I swear to god if my palm starts beeping and buzzing, and I pull the thing out of my pocket so it can tell me "whats cool for August" I'll smash the thing to little pieces.
PHB::According to Johnson's report I see we have market share and brand name recognition. What's our plan?
JOHNSON::Do nothing sir.
PHB::Do nothing? You idiot Johnson YOU'RE FIRED! Cravenstone what do you have?
CRAVENSTONE::Let's change our name sir.
PHB::Excel-lent....
This
Well, there's goes my bet on what the new Handspring, Palm merged company would be called:
"PalmSprings" of course!
Sure, you laugh now, but their new office digs woulda been SWEET.
Everyone's reading PalmOne like it was pronounced Palm-WON, but it's really pronounced Pahl-MOH-nay, which clearly is designed to appeal to the modern, hip Euro-style elite. Ooh, la la.
PalmOne's ticker symbol will change from the current PALM to PLMO.
Dibbs on the PALM stock symbol so I can unload millions of shares of my fly-by-night IPO on the uneducated masses!
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
They're predicting how many employees they'll have left in three years :-)
Read my blog.
I have the same problem. Gypsies always give me strange looks when I take a tropical plant into the caravan to have my fortune told, and I've been waiting for my hand to produce coconuts for 34 years now.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
OUR BRAND PROMIES IS SO WAL UNDERS2D BY DA MARK3TPLAEC TAHT DA CONCEPT OF ONE IN OUR NU NME WAS IMEDIAETLY COMPELNG11!!11!! WTF LOL ONE IS A POW3RFUL ADITION 2 TEH INSTANT BRAND R3COGNITION AND IEDNTITY OF DA PALM TEH1!!!1 WTF RED/ORANGE COMBINATION IS A BOLD D3PARTURE FROM TEH BLU3 TAHT PALM HAS USAD FOR MANY YEARS AND BUILDS ON OUR NU SUBRANDS AN3RGY ANTHUSIASM POWER AND INOVATION COM3 ACROS MUCH STRONGAR IN OUR NU COMBINATION
OUR!1!1!1!! NU NME ALSO SIGNALS A NU BGINNG AT PALM1!!1!!!! OMG WTF BUILDNG ON OUR MOMENTUM IN TEH HANDH3LD COMPUTNG SPAEC WORLDWIED AND COMPLEMANTNG IT WIT TEH AXPACTAD INT3GRATION OF DA AWARD-WINNG TR3O LIEN OF SMARTPHONES FROM HANDSPRNG WIL GIEV PALMONE TEH BROAEDST PORTFOLIO OF HANDHELD COMPUTARS AND SMARTPHON3 PRODUCTS LAD BY DA MOST AXPAREINC3D TEM IN DA INDUSTRY 11!!1 WTF LOL
(I didn't write this - I got it from a Palm message board. Still funny, though.)
Of course the real reason for the change of name to PalmSource is that they've discovered 80 lines or so of C code in PalmOS that matches code in the heart of the Linux kernel, no, the edges, no, the utilities, and they've decided to take a leaf out of SCO's book and sue IBM, no, Linus, no, everyone who even mentions Linux to try to prop up a dwindling market share.
Quick everyone, buy Palm shares cos they're about to shoot through the roof!
...I have decieded to rename myself GeoffreyOne.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
You would definitely be struck down by National Beverage Corp. on that one since "Shaznasta" is clearly just a feshizzle nizzling of their Shasta brand name.
Glad to see that the marketing group who came up with "New Coke" finally got another client.
When you click on the link the parent poster provides, the first thing you see is this:
"Welcome Slashdot visitor! You have been redirected to a ligher version of our article in order to conserve bandwidth and keep the site running smoothly for everybody."
Clearly they are doing their best to avoid being Slashdotted, while not shutting out the Slashdotters completely. As intelligent and reasonable as this is, it still strikes me as amusing.
"Welcome Mongol horde visitor! You have been redirected to a ligher version of Rome in order to conserve food and water and keep the city running smoothly for everybody."
"Welcome O Pioneer! You have been redirected to a ligher version of Ohio/Illinois/Missouri/Kansas in order to conserve land rights and keep the state running smoothly for everybody."
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain
It's the same focus group over and over and over and over... again.
I'd appreciate it if you could drop me an e-mail if you're willing fill-in for me some time. The pay is pretty good but it's getting tedious, I could use some time away from the responsibility....
It's a good thing they didn't just take one year to come up with that name or else it might have sucked!
You can use the phrase "they're trying to PalmOne off on us" now.