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MozillaZine Celebrates 5th Anniversary
An anonymous reader writes "MozillaZine, the Mozilla news and advocacy site, is five years old today. They've got a fifth anniversary section, containing a message from their founder, a chronology (which makes a pretty good Mozilla timeline generally), some trivia (who's bright idea was Music to Code By?!) and an acknowledgements page. I think it's amazing that a free site like this has provided such a great service to the open-source community for half a decade. Cheers!"
Hey, it's an excuse to do another shot. I don't mind.
It has come to my attention that you completely inhale the pastes in crust. Read on for more about this fascinating topic.
The world went into shock a few weeks ago when goatse.info reported the results of a study which concluded that inhaling paste is a very dangerous pastime, one that no one is advised to take up. Eventually, everyone adapted to the new state of affairs and began inhaling other things. Almost everyone, that is. But not you! According to my records, you still inhale paste!
Why?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!
You moron, you idiot, you imbecile, you gay nigger ! Arg! You make me so fucking sick! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
As a new punk you won't know diddly-squat about your sexual duties, so here are a few practical tips: to avoid AIDS, learn to suck dick. In fact, learn it so well you can do deep throat and he'll forget all about your ass. The trick is relaxation, not easy at first, to be sure, when you feel the whole thing is absolutely disgusting, but for your own good, you need to learn to relax using any technique that works for you. In order to avoid gagging, wait til your stomach is empty (11/2 hrs after meals), so there's nothing to barf. If you do throw up, do it on the floor and not him! Train yourself gradually. Meditate, say mantras, anything that gets you to relax. Stop thinking of the dick as an invading foreign object; if you can get over that perception, you'll be OK. Try to take deep breaths whenever you can and breathe through your nose. Practice holding your breath like a swimmer. If he fucks your skull so hard you think you're about to pass out from asphyxiation, you should grab his legs and signal your distress. Most likely he'll be about to come and won't let up, but it'll be over real soon.
The first few times you get fucked in the ass, it hurts bigtime. If you have to get fucked in the ass, again try to relax as much as possible and get him to slow down. It will hurt less, and if it keeps happening you will get used to it and it won't hurt at all. Be sure to use some kind of greasy stuff (vaseline, hair cream, etc.) as a lubricant, and a condom if at all possible. If you are hooked up, your jocker will usually try to minimize any pain that might be involved. After all, he wants to keep your resentment and complaints to a minimum.
A dick up your ass may well physically stimulate your prostate gland, and you may experience that as pleasurable. You may even get a hard-on while being fucked, just as a physical reaction. And some punks will find the sexual experience arousing. Many guys have some homosexual feelings even though they are basically straight. You don't have to put a label on yourself just because you have a variety of feelings.
Punks sometimes agree to switch out with each other or "take turns" sexually, since this is about the only way you can take a penetrative role instead of a passive one. As a punk you come under a lot of pressure to act less masculine, and you will naturally resent this pressure inside and feel a strong need to act in masculine ways whenever you can get away with it. This need can make the urge to experience what a lot of people call "the male role" in sex very powerful. It is an understandable compensation, a way of proving to yourself that you're still a man, so if you do it, don't feel guilty about it. If you want to take turns with another punk, it is best to clear it with your jockers first. The jocks usually don't object since they know the other punk is not a rival for them.
Breaking away
When your "man" treats you bad and you want to get out of the situation, it's a tricky situation, but it's not hopeless. Maybe he's dissatisfied too and is willing to let you go, in which case you are back to square two. If he wants to keep you, he may get violent to do so. You can check in to p.c. and get transferred as one way out. Another way is to let other jockers know that you want to switch and encourage one of them to make a deal with your current jock to take you over. He may buy out your contract, so to speak. Sometimes if he wants you badly enough he'll fight your current daddy in order to get you.
A punk who successfully breaks away from his jocker and becomes independent is called a "renegade." There are also some independent punks who never hook up. Unless such punks have learned to fight well, they usually end up with another jocker.
Thank you. I'm uninstalling as I post this. In the meantime, did they fix the 4-minute load times? Boy, I hope so.
BWAHAHAHAHA.
Psst... Mozilla's still more bloated than anything you'll see from Microsoft and it always will be. That's why it's widely recongized as inferior and is stuck at a 1% marketshare.
The SMOC resents your implication that Slashdot Moderators On Crack must be niggers. Please report to your doctor for extermination.
All errors in this comment are mine. Corrections are considered a derivative work, and punishable under copyright law.