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What's Always Next?

bettiwettiwoo writes "In its 'What's Next' issue, Time has a charmingly silly piece called What's Always Next? , in which is provided '[a] sampling of the future that wasn't': things that have been predicted since day dot, but have somehow never materialized. The examples they give are: videophones; moon colonies; food in pills; cars that drive themselves; jet packs; and moving sidewalks. ... There are, after all, so many and varied things -- ranging from the very serious to the down-right silly -- that are predicted time and again, yet seem curiously absent in our daily lives. Examples: global catastrophies of the Armageddon kind (be they population overload, total environmental disasters, plagues, asteroids, or nuclear wars); a secure and bug-free Windows; the end of Madonna's singing career (her 'acting' career was, I believe, still-born)." So what are you waiting for?

12 of 584 comments (clear)

  1. If they could only.... by The-Bus · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm still waiting for Skittlebrau.

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    Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

  2. Artificial Intelligence by Lord+Grey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Actually, I'm still waiting for some of the drivers on the local freeways to start exhibiting real intelligence.

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    // Beyond Here Lie Dragons
  3. Re:Videophones by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    So videophones never materialised? So what's this in my pocket?

    No, you're just pleased to see me.

  4. Yogurt promised me... by Shamashmuddamiq · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money"

    Still waiting.

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    ...just my 2 gil.
  5. Utopias by Dan-DAFC · · Score: 4, Funny

    In a perfect world you wouldn't need a Utopia.

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    Suck figs.
  6. I'm still dying for... by youngerpants · · Score: 4, Funny

    Teleportation... please, I hate driving/ flying etc. Living in the UK, the roads are always jammed and the trains never run on time, and lets face it, were all a bit dubious about flying.

    It'll also be a faster method of getting my pizza to me before it gets cold

    1. Re:I'm still dying for... by richie2000 · · Score: 4, Funny
      Ah, teleportation. The main reason I'd like to own IBM. They do research on that, you know. If I owned IBM, I'd put much, much more resources into that particular field of research. Why, you ask?

      Simple, really.

      I'd have them make the sending station look like a podium and then launch the receiver into a stabile earth orbit. Next step would be to invite Bill Gates and a few other dignitaries to the great unveiling. "Yes, step up here, please, Mr. Gates." "Energize!" *Bzzzt* (Meanwhile, in the green room) "Mr. McBride, time. And please wake Mr. Ballmer up, he's next." Muahahaha, and so on.

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      Money for nothing, pix for free
  7. Functional food isn't fun by YetAnotherName · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe it'll be possible some day to pack a major amount of calories and various proteins into a convenient pill form, but I really can't see have much application beyond, say, the military.

    Food is supposed to be a sensual experience, part of the feedback system that ensures we eat. Sure, there are some people out there who just eat to live, but we're pre-programmed to find eating pleasurable, from the sight of a perfectly grilled steak, its brown crust glistening under a sprinkling of whole peppercorns, to the scents of exotic vanilla beans wafting up from a mound of cold, soft ice cream, to the texture of crusty, rustic bread, hand-ripped from a lovely brown loaf dusted with cornmeal, to the taste of warm, moist, yielding carrots, drizzled in honey and butter, to ... to ...

    I need to change my shorts. Back soon.

  8. Re:video phones? by ^BR · · Score: 4, Funny

    Progress is always slower in the thirld world.

  9. Duke Nukem Forever! by why-is-it · · Score: 4, Funny

    Team Fortress 2... And seemingly Half-life 2

    Don't forget Nuke Nukem Forever - which is the time it will take to develop and not the working title as many people mistakenly assume...

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    *** Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
  10. I don't know by Darth_brooks · · Score: 4, Funny
    i don't know what's always next......

    ....but Slashdot subscribers can see it now.

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    There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
  11. I can't swallow that! by Hatta · · Score: 5, Funny

    Good news! It's a suppository.

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