Rodents of Unusual Size

lowy writes "The New York Times has a story (free registration, blah, blah) reporting that paleontologists are claiming they have a nearly complete skeleton of a 1500-pound distant relative of the guinea pig. Would Westley and Buttercup have made it through the Fire Swamp if the R.O.U.S's were this big?"

Comments

"Rats" Deprecated

[Anonymous Coward]

Dear Sirs,

A female acquaintance recently complained about "rats." She thinks rats are disgusting and scary, even though many rats are actually very smart, clean, and friendly. I pointed out that the word "rat" carries a lot of social baggage and we should really just dispose of it.

So, to properly portray the new, friendlier, image of rats, please cease referring to them by that outmoded designation; the term "rat" shall instead be exclusively reserved for plague-ridden, snarling, sewer vermin the size of beagles -- but not "rats" in general.

Thus, in order to further a progressive understanding of this kind and benevolent species, these smart, Disney-esque critters shall henceforth be referred to as "squeakles."

See, who couldn't just adore a little pet squeakle? They're better than tribbles, and aren't even born pregant (although it can seem that way if you happen to keep a chick squeakle and dude squeakle in the same cage).

Remember the catchy new motto: "Rats are disease infested filth-streaming sewer vermin, but squeakles are like tribbles only they aren't born pregnant even if it may seem that way under some limited circumstances."

Thank you. I already feel we've made the world a happier place.

Sincerely,
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxx