Smart Sofa Recognizes Occupants by Weight

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Smart Sofa Recognizes Occupants by Weight

Posted by michael on Tuesday September 23, 2003 @04:44PM from the chubby-hubby dept.

I am Kobayashi writes "According to CNN.com scientists at Trinity College in Dublin have created my dream couch. And yes, I admit to being a couch potato... Apparently the couch can be programmed with a personal greeting (it recognizes you by weight), and the scientists hope that it will one day be able to automatically tune to your favorite television programs, order you take out food, and control other household appliances."

24 of 353 comments (clear)

Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 16:45 · Score: 5, Funny

"Cindy? Who is Cindy? No, honest honey, I have no idea who Cindy is. What's this couch talking about! ?"
1. Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? by linzeal · 2003-09-23 18:50 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  One day americans will rule the world from their couches thanks to their robot slaves.
  
  --
  An Education is the Font of All Liberty
2. Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? by GreyPoopon · 2003-09-23 20:10 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Oh great, a new way for Americans to get fat.
  No, we can't get any fatter. If we do, the couch won't recognize us.
  
  --
  GreyPoopon
  --
  Why is it I can write insightful comments but can't come up with a clever signature?
3. Re:Hi, Cindy, want the same as last time? by zero_offset · 2003-09-24 00:30 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Oh great, a new way for Americans to get fat. Kill your TV and read a book or go exercise for god sake. Reading a book really melts those pounds away. I need to start posting more knee-jerk replies about Big Bad British Teeth.
  
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  Slashdot quality declines as the number of hot grits posts decreases. - Provolt's Law, Apr-09-2005
Recognizing by weight by TWX · 2003-09-23 16:45 · Score: 5, Funny

It won't be able to recognize you by weight if it continues to do absolutely everything for you, like ordering food and changing the channel on the TV without requiring you to get up...

I wonder if they built an AI into it to intelligently determine who the occupant is by weight gain over time...

--
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
1. Re:Recognizing by weight by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 16:50 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  changing the channel on the TV without requiring you to get up...
  
  Most people can already do this. They use this amazing invention called a remote control.
2. Re:Recognizing by weight by canajin56 · 2003-09-23 17:36 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  3.14? I always knew pi had something to do with weight gain, but I though that was only if you ate it.
  
  --
  ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
Great idea by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 16:45 · Score: 5, Funny

Science: Pushing the boundaries of sloth, one invention at a time.
1. Re:Great idea by panaceaa · 2003-09-23 17:17 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  A bit off-topic, but has anyone noticed that stores always call couches "sofas" and never "couches?" Examples: Ikea, Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, Crate & Barrel and even Walmart! When recently looking to buy a new couch, I couldn't find a major site that sold "couches."
  
  I think company's sell "sofas" because "couches" are perceived as things slothy people buy. Lazy people "lounge on the couch" on the weekends. The American culture always uses the word "couch" to describe unmotivated people's television watching habits.
  
  But in the eyes of marketers, consumers must see sofas as possessions of elegant, worldly people who are out and about. Motivated, outgoing people buy "sofas" to decorate their posh interiors! "No couches for me, sir, I want a sofa!"
  
  --
  my blog
This particular model... by JasonMaggini · 2003-09-23 16:47 · Score: 4, Funny

...will be released as the La-Z-Homer 3000.
1. Re:This particular model... by Throtex · 2003-09-23 17:01 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Now with ass-groove memory!
Intelligent couch? by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 16:47 · Score: 4, Funny

I, for one, welcome our new sofa overlords.
1. Re:Intelligent couch? by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 17:06 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I, for one, welcome our repetitive +5 Funny template joke overlords ...
  Wait, no I don't.
Inaccuracies in weight recognition? by zapp · 2003-09-23 16:48 · Score: 4, Funny

So say I sit down with my backpack on may lap, it gets me wrong. Or if a kid/cat/dog jumps on my lap.

Or kids jump on the couch and break it.

Or 2 kids sit next to each other in the space it takes to fit me, and the TV tunes it to my favorite porn station

or I lose a few pounds and it tunes me in to my wife's favorite shows...

This sounds pretty crappy to me :)

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no comment
1. Re:Inaccuracies in weight recognition? by Anonymous Coward · 2003-09-23 16:51 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  or I lose a few pounds and it tunes me in to my wife's favorite shows...
  Dude, if losing a few founds gets you to your wife's weight then you seriously need to bulk up or you are definitely closing your eyes when you get your nookie at night.
Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to los by headbulb · 2003-09-23 16:51 · Score: 5, Funny

Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to lose weight.

Just imagine watching the superbowl, when you pick up a chip. Only to have your couch tell you "Put down the chip chubby."
ummm by bongobongo · 2003-09-23 16:53 · Score: 4, Funny

i can see potential problems already.

say i'm sitting on the couch... some loose change falls out of my pocket.... i get up...

now the couch thinks my leperchaun is sitting there and plays the irish channel all day long. that would be so annoying.
This is a huge improvement by teamhasnoi · 2003-09-23 16:56 · Score: 5, Funny

from their prototype that required you to place a 12 ounce, specially modified bluetooth tranciever up your ass.
"Hey Fatass..." by Fnkmaster · 2003-09-23 16:57 · Score: 4, Funny

Log off of Slashdot and go down to the gym, then maybe I'll let you sit down and watch some tube.

Great, just what I need.
Here Goes Clippy by robbyjo · 2003-09-23 16:57 · Score: 4, Funny

So say I sit down with my backpack on may lap, it gets me wrong.

Clippy: So, you gain 20 pounds in just 2 days. Would you like to:

[ ] Enroll as sumo wrestler (you are qualified now)

[ ] Enroll in Taco Gym

[ ] Cowboyneal!

[ ] All of above

--

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Error 500: Internal sig error
I've lost so much weight by dtfinch · 2003-09-23 17:03 · Score: 4, Funny

Even my furniture says it hardly recognizes me.
Re:Now the wife isn't the only one to tell you to by Flower · 2003-09-23 17:10 · Score: 4, Funny

Or sit down and find out the wife programmed it to say...
"Get up and take out the trash like you said you were going to THREE DAYS AGO YOU WORTHLESS BUM!!"
Or..
"If I find another porno in the DVD player you're not getting any for a month!"
Or..
"Honey, I'm sorry but I'm leaving you for Mandingo. I hope you and your couch have a happy life together YOU LAZY SONOFABITCH!!"
This could be bad. Very bad...

--
I don't want knowledge. I want certainty. - Law, David Bowie
Heh by NanoGator · 2003-09-23 17:26 · Score: 5, Funny

"Your honor, I did it because my husband hacked the sofa to say 'whoah, one at a time!' whenever I sat down on it."

"Judgement in favor of the defendent: Justifiable homicide."

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"Derp de derp."
Re:Read the article... by jolshefsky · 2003-09-23 23:14 · Score: 4, Funny

It's in development, and has plans to be used to assist the elderly and those in hospitals.
Huh huh. You said "ass."

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--- Jason Olshefsky
Karma: Poser (mostly affected by adding this line long after everyone else did)