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Track a Soda Can with GPS?
I am Kobayashi writes "According to the Indianapolis Star Online, next summer Coca-cola will feature a promotion in which winners will be located by satellites tracking GPS devices implanted in the winning cans.... Hopefully they track you fast before you throw-away (or recycle) your winning can...." And in another bit of Coke news, they've got a new high-tech billboard: jhkoh writes "Reuters/Yahoo is reporting that Coca-Cola has unveiled an 'intelligent' billboard in London's Piccadilly Circus -- at 99 feet wide, the world's biggest -- that supposedly will respond to weather, movement, and SMS text messages. The billboard itself is 52 square meters of LED display. How soon before someone hacks it?"
Congratulations! You have just proved the theory that there is no limit to human stupidity. Rumor has it that you are almost incomprehensible in person (as revealed by your desperate urge to babble nonsensically on message boards.) No doubt, this rumor is true.
You amaze me! I didn't think it was possible for one person to possess such a vast reservoir of undiluted gibberish! You must have a very large brain to hold such a vast amount of sheer ignorance. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. You have the warm personal charm of a millipede and about as much class as a bucket of mucous lodged on top of a dumpster in a Blue Light district of New Jersey. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you didn't eat all those paint chips and lead pencils when you were a kid; if your weren't so fat that you make sumo wrestlers look anorexic, or if your face wasn't so ugly that visitors to the Ugly Palace pay money NOT to see you. Nah, of course you would.
In closing, I helpfully suggest that you support your local Search & Rescue Unit, and get lost.
Just when I think, "Surely this person has reached and encapsulates the limits of Internet tedium" you go and push the boundary even further. Try learning elementary grammar before attempting to inflict your next literary abomination on this message board.
Here's a tip: no one will ever know that you've had a lobotomy if you wear a wig to hide to the scars; stop posting your drivel on message boards, and learn to control the slobbering. You wouldn't know Up from Down if you had three guesses. Anyway, who was talking to you or even taking you under consideration? To quote Thomas Brackett Reed: "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
You light up a room when you leave it. No doubt your life is so dull, that you can actually write your diary one week in advance. I bet you thought it was just coincidence that your parents had the same surnames before they married? Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't so dense that light bends around you; if your weren't so fat that a "Place Your Billboard Ad Here" is printed on each of your butt cheeks, or if your face wasn't the strongest form of natural contraception available. No, come to think of it, you would.
You're a message board freak. I know it's hard to accept the truth, but the truth it is, and accept it, you must.
Your post is the world's greatest proof of reincarnation; no one could get that dumb in just one lifetime. How about putting that into proper syntax, form, and grammar so that I can at least understand what you are saying before I dismiss it?
If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive an ant's Go-cart around the inside of a bottle cap. Clearly, the full area of your ignorance is not yet mapped. We are presently only exploring the fringes of that vast expanse. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. How true is Stanislaw J. Lec's famous remark: "Every now and then you meet someone whose ignorance is encyclopedic."
You are about as entertaining as a child's inflatable punching toy. You bop it, it springs back, you bop it again and you forget it ever existed. It slowly deflates in an unused corner, then one day you throw it away. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't so stupid that even single-celled organisms out score you in IQ tests; if your weren't so fat that when you stand on the weighing scale, it reads: "To be continued!", or if your face wasn't so ugly that visitors to the Ugly Palace pay money NOT to see you. Who am I kidding? You would.
In conclusion, sit down and shut up before trip over your own tongue and hurt yourself.
Your post is the world's greatest proof of reincarnation; no one could get that dumb in just one lifetime. I suggest you hone your writing skills before applying borrowed glories as a mere typist.
If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to run an ant's go-kart around the inside of a donut. Does your train of thought have a caboose? However, I'll consider letting you have the last word if you guarantee it will be your last. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
You are a bore, and a very dull one at that. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if your brain cells weren't on the Endangered Species list; if your weren't so fat that a "Place Your Billboard Ad Here" is printed on each of your butt cheeks, or if you didn't have a face that makes Medusa look like a supermodel. No, come to think of it, you would.
In closing, I offer these heartfelt words: Go suck on a frozen pineapple, asshole.
Your post is a tedious, homogenised, chameleon-esque scribble which amounts to nothing more than the demented cacophonous racket of a drugged lunatic banging loudly on kitchen pots and pans. Just as the strength of a solitary brick will not save a poorly built structure, your bold typeface does not redeem your craven incoherent words.
It seems your fingers not only did your typing, but did your thinking too. Have you considered suing your brain for non-support? I understand what you are trying to say, even though you obviously don't. If you knew what you're talking about, you'd be dangerous. I am reminded of something relevant that Benjamin Disraeli said: "He was distinguished for ignorance - for he had only one idea and that was wrong."
When god was handing out personalities, you must have been holding the door. You're so boring, even a boomerang wouldn't come back to you. You are nastier than a five-dollar whore getting a shit enema. You're a waste of time, space, air, flesh, and the rectum you were born from, retard. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you didn't have an intellect rivaled only by the Village Idiot's stupider brother; if your weren't so fat that your local 'All-You-Can-Eat' buffet had to install speed bumps, or if you didn't have a face that is registered as a biological weapon. Nah, of course you would.
In future, if you have something to say, just shut up.
I refer to your latest discharge of plebeian verbiage; in which, you have proven, once again, that there is no such thing as unutterable nonsense. I suggest you hone your writing skills before applying borrowed glories as a mere typist.
The Anti-Moron(TM) software on my PC went crazy when I started to read your post. If you're going to say something that ignorant, you could at least fake a stroke. A long period of non-posting would be most welcome on your part. How true is Stanislaw J. Lec's famous remark: "Every now and then you meet someone whose ignorance is encyclopedic."
You are about as entertaining as watching grass grow in a windowbox. What do you do for a living? You are living, aren't you? Any friend of yours is a lousy judge of character. Seriously, I've come across decomposing dog carcases that are less offensive to the senses than you are. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so stupid that even single-celled organisms out score you in IQ tests; if your weren't so fat that your clothes come in three sizes: Extra Large, Jumbo, and Oh-My-God-It's-Coming-Towards-Us!, or if you didn't have a face that people shove in dough to make monster cookies. Who am I kidding? You would.
Finally, why don't you go and get lost somewhere where they don't have a "found" department?
We'll know it has happened when we're driving down the road and see 52 quare meters of goatse in rich LCD color.
2 Questions.
First, what's wrong with having everything I purchase trackable.
And second, *how* will this make me less free?
I'm serious, I want answers. Because I have no problem buying Coke with GPS locator doodads in them, and I seriously can't figure out how that will make me less free.
-Brent