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Birth of a Motorized Surfboard
An anonymous reader writes: "The October Mechanical Engineering has a article on the creation of a motorized surfboard. Looks like a bigger creative leap than Segway and potentially a lot more fun!"
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you might find some of these reports interesting
Los Binds Laborotories
Smegma University of Canada
Goa Tse Governmental Computing Center of Xia, China
what the fuck is wrong with you? what is this shit? quit writing and shoot yourself in the fucking face you stupid nigger
- Slink around, shuffling your feet and bobbing your neck like the lazy retard
you are.
- Walk down the middle of the street because you don't know what a sidewalk is
for.
- Hang out at carwashes and mini-marts because everybody knows these are the
best places to be a dope, I mean dope.
- If you're a nigger bitch, shit three nigger babies into the world before 17
years of age. This assures that welfare money will support you, so your
nigger men have more time to commit crimes. Oh yes, make sure each nigger
baby has a different father.
- Bastardize the English language in the name of nigger culture. Make sure
that several terms have multiple meanings and others have ambiguous meanings
and that only 50% of nigger words are even complete words. Real niggers will
know what you're trying to say.
- As a culture, make sure there are always more bucks in prison than in
college at any given time.
- Hang out in packs of 10 to 15 and make sure everyone acts as annoying as
possible. This helps to promote nigger individuality.
- Always talk loud enough so everyone in the 'hood' can fucking hear you, and
if they are niggers, they will know what you're saying, bro.
- Wear clothes that are 10 sizes too big, making sure the pants hang off your
ass. Also huge pants facilitate stealing (let me translate that: "it be
easier to lift dat 'box at the Kmart, homes"). If you have to hold them up
while you walk, it only looks badder.
- Park at least 5 junk cars in your yard while being careful not to use the
driveway. It's OK to abandon them in the street as long as it's in front of
someone else's crib.
- Exaggerate every motion, every tonal inflection and grab your dick a lot.
Have red carpet, blue walls, brass and overstuffed furnishings (all rented),
purple bathrooms and keep all windows covered so that no light can enter and
no cops can see in while you...
- Do drugs, sell drugs, make drugs.
- Turn your backyard into a junk yard. If you don't have a backyard, turn
your mother's into a junk yard. Eliminate every blade of grass.
- Travel around leaching off relatives, friends, salvation armies. Abandon
your children with them also.
- Smack your kids and yell at them a lot. Make them feel less than human and
that they have no future, which they don't because they're niggers like you.
- Drink cheap wine and malt liquor every day, forgetting that "malt liquor" is
just fortified cheap beer.
- If you're a nigger buck: fuck anything that moves, no matter how ugly she is.
After two eight-balls, even the ugliest, fattest nigger bitch will look good.
- Be charitable and covet fat, ugly white chicks. After all, they're niggers
too. They can't help being so undesirable to white men that they have to
fraternize with black dudes on a 20/20 trip. And white ho's are a special
trophy too, especially the not so ugly ones.
- Spray paint everything in sight with scribbles that mean nothing to White
people but mean things to fellow niggers (except niggers from another hood
who will probably try to kill you for tresspassing on their turf)
- Use the term "motherfucker" in every sentence. It's one of the most
versatile words in the nigger language, being a noun, verb, adjective and
complete mini-sentence in event you run out of thoughts.
- Stop in the middle of the street, blocking all traffic to converse with
fellow niggers and have complete disregard for everyone else.
- Delay everybody at the checkouts while you and 3 other dudes fumble around
for the $1.42 for the bottle of Magnum.
- Clog isles at Kmart with strollers, bastard kids and your fat selves. If
you're a cashier, never look at or be cordial to a customer and always talk
to other niggers while you ring up the customer.
Board rides YOU! 5... 6... 7... -/\/- 19... 20
this has to be the absolute stupidest idea among a world of stupid ideas. No real surfer would ever buy this pile of garbage, and the ones that would don't belong on the waves. Besides, it's not like the 10 seconds of paddling would give you fat American lardasses a heart attack.