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Viruses and Market Dominance - Myth or Fact?
rocketjam writes "An article at The Register, authored by Scott Granneman of SecurityFocus, examines the conventional wisdom that if Linux or Mac OS X were as popular as Windows, there would be just as many viruses written for those platforms. Mr. Granneman bluntly says this is wrong, then proceeds to detail the fundamental differences between those OS's and Windows which make Windows an easy and inviting target for virus-writers, as opposed to the Unix-based platforms."
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your nigger will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately on unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER.
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work
sorry, but my floral post has defeated your measly attempt. YHL, HAND.
I just submitted the exact same story to /.
Another rejection for my file... Reminds me of that Simspons episode when Milhouse tries to destroy his (literally) permanent school file.
Treehugger? Treehugger... Treehugger!
actually, YOU FAIL IT! to florist porridge.
Have you considered suicide?
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"Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one."
And they all stink.
Well, not necessarilly. My girlfriend's asshole smells like flowers. It doesn't taste too bad either.
HELLO, ,corruption and embezzlement of over 21billion won. He was wrongly sentenced to death but fortunately AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL stepped in and commuted the sentence to life. We thank God that he has finally being released though still under house arrest in the sense of conditions of the freedom. During my brother's regime as president of South Korea, we realized some reasonable amount of money from various deals that we successfully executed. I have plans to invest this money for my children's future on real estate and industrial production. Before my brother's was overthrown, I secretly siphoned the sum of $30,000,000 million USD (Thirty million United states dollars) out of Seoul and deposited the money with a security firm that transports valuable goods and consignments through diplomatic means. I am contacting you because I want you to deal with the security company and claim the money on my behalf since I have declared that the consignment belong to my foreign business partner. You shall also be required to assist me in investment in your country. I hope to trust you as a God fearing person who will not sit on this money when you claim it, rather assist me properly, I expect you to declare what percentage of the total money you will take for your assistance. When I receive your positive response I will let you know where the security company is and the payment pin code to claim the money which is very important. What we need is to indicate your interest that you will assist us by receiving the money on our behalf in Europe. For this, you shall be considered to be the beneficiary of the money. The project in brief, is that the funds with which we intend to carry out our proposed investments in your country, is presently in the custody of a Diplomatic Courier Services Company in Europe. We cannot do this ourselves because we do not have any relatives living outside South Korea and moreover we do not want the government of my Country to know about the money because they will believe I got the money from my brother while he was still in office as president .Once you confirm the receipt of the money ,I will come over with my Children to your Country or any Country in Europe to start a new life with my Family. As soon as payment is effected, and the amount mentioned above is successfully transferred into your account, we intend to use our own share in acquiring some estates abroad. For this too you shall also be our overseas manager of all our properties and you will be paid based on a certain percentage agreed on by both parties. For now, let all our communication be by e-mail because my line is right now connected to the South Korean Telecommunication Network services therefore we can not take the chances of being heard. Please also send me your telephone and fax number. I will ask my son to contact you to give you more details on after I have received a response from you. I am going to introduce you to him as an age long friend so as to prevent him from using any of his own friends who I regard as sycophants who are around him for financial gains and treacherous if he gives them this opportunity. This I got from the experience I had when the people turned against Chun, my brother that became the prelude of our sorrow. The reason why it took this long was that the security company's agreement with me was that my brother must personally sign the Power of Attorney that will transfer title to the prospective beneficiary. It was a long wait but it paid off. His excellency, Chun Doo-Hwan does not want to be personally involved for security reason. Your quick response will be highly appreciated. Thank you in anticipation of your cooperation. Yours faithfully,
My name is JANG DOO-HWAN, The brother of Mr. CHUN DOO-HWAN, the former President of South Korea who seized power in a military coup in 1979 and who ruled from 1979 to 1987. My brother was pushed out of office and charged with treason
JANG DOO-HWAN
Searched the web for florist porridge. Results 1 - 10 of about 547.
Ooh! Ooh! Free money? Sign me up. I don't have a fax number, but my phone number is (911) 123-4567. Please contact me immediately!
"73% of quotes on the Internet are made up" -Ben Franklin
OS X is very easy to work with, Programming wise and user wise.
I am the Alpha and the Omega-3