How Not To Install Computer Hardware

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How Not To Install Computer Hardware

Posted by timothy on Monday October 20, 2003 @07:43PM from the do-your-worst dept.

ssassen writes "Most computer hardware websites tell you how to get your computer hardware up and running properly and not RMA it after the first boot. Hardware Analysis takes a different approach and tells us exactly how NOT to install computer hardware. They document many of the pitfalls that'll sound familiar to many enthusiasts and have some great pictures of what could go horribly wrong during an upgrade. Very funny, and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!"

16 of 373 comments (clear)

Repost! But improved! by eaglebtc · 2003-10-20 19:43 · Score: 5, Informative

See this article Much improved, though, with pictures to boot!

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Everything is hot swappable... by seanadams.com · 2003-10-20 19:51 · Score: 4, Funny

...as long as nobody's looking!
1. Re:Everything is hot swappable... by questamor · 2003-10-20 20:21 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I seem to have the most extraordinary luck (or I only come across tough hardware). I've hotplugged just about everything except a CPU, and the worst I've had is an OS crash. That includes all connectors, ram, graphics cards, vram, drives, psus fans and speakers.
  
  I tried the RAM and VRAM after realising I'd done some stupid things in the last 20 years and not killed any hardware, so pressed my luck and did those too.
  
  I think if I do a CPU next I'll be just about complete
Without RTFA, I could tell you how not to do it. by jtnishi · 2003-10-20 19:56 · Score: 5, Funny
1. Don't install computer hardware while drunk. It'll sure be funny in the morning, but only if you haven't managed to plug things in such a way that they don't blow up.
2. Don't install computer hardware with all the components plugged in AND on. Yeah, I know that it's good practice to keep the plug in while holding the computer case for installing components so you stay grounded, but when it's all on, I'm sure something's liable to fry. Of course, USB might be an exception, but considering how often hot-plugging USB stuff crashes my comp, it might be best to stay away from that, too. ;)
3. Don't install components while having sex. Either your SO doesn't care, or he/she is the biggest geek ever, and you're one lucky person.
4. Don't install components while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I tried that once. It wasn't pretty.
5. See, you didn't need to read that article at all. Let's keep up the slashdot tradition!
Way back in the day... by chill · 2003-10-20 20:00 · Score: 5, Funny

I used to work in a retail computer store specializing in Amiga computers. The A1200 was notorious for being difficult to install expansion boards into the trapdoor slot.

I had one accelerator try to be returned after the customer tried to install it themselves.

I looked at the unit and the pins connecting the card connector to the board were bent and there were chips out of the motherboard.

I told the customer that it looked like they took a screwdriver to the edge and used a hammer to try and pound the card into the slot.

I kid you not, the reply was "I did. So what? The manual didn't say *NOT* to hit it with a hammer and screwdriver".

We didn't accept the return. I explained that my supplier would laugh me out of business if I tried to return it with chisel marks.

$200 down the drain because the cheap bastard didn't want to spend the extra $10 to have us install it.

--
Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
1. Re:Way back in the day... by WegianWarrior · 2003-10-20 21:16 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Reminds me of the large poster we have hanging in the workshop (I work with pneumatic, hydraulic and mechanical components for military jets, as well as other related items (ECS, EPU and so on)):
  
  If it jams - force it! If it breaks, it needed repair anyway!
  
  Seriously thought, there is a reason why the users manuals for comsuber electronics has page up and down with warnings how not to use the product - my new 30" widescreen television (a big thing weighting so much you need two ordinary people or four geeks to lift it) shall not - according to the manual - be used in the shower or bathtub... Obvioulsy some people lack any trace of common sence, and need to be told every little thing.
  
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2. Re:Way back in the day... by B747SP · 2003-10-20 22:07 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  We didn't accept the return. I explained that my supplier would laugh me out of business if I tried to return it with chisel marks.
  I came in at the funny end of a hard disk DSAA (Dead Shortly After Arrival) story a few years back. Cuntstomer bought a new HDD from the computer story where SWMBO worked. Took it home, set stuff up. HDD went unserviceable within a day or so. Just plain bad luck in that respect..
  Unfortunately, aforementioned cuntstomer had a Friend Who Knows About Computers(tm) handy. Somehow or other, the FWKAC managed to convince him that he could recover the data by opening the disk.
  Trouble was, the disk didn't have common-or-garden phillips head screws, it used some new-fangle torx thingamy. No problem, FWKAC simply took to it with a battery powered drill, and drilled out the torx screws to get the case open.
  A bit like a dog chasing a car I suspect - no idea what he was going to do with it when he got it open.
  Anyway, the after all this, the cuntstomer brought the disk back expecting warranty replacement.
  Owner of the shop was an astute, but somewhat unorthodox HK Chinese cum New Zealander cum Australian (and last time anyone checked, living in China). He took one look at it all, and laughed. Right in the cuntstomer's face.
  And laughed. And laughed, and laughed. Funniest effing thing that any of us had ever seen. History doesn't record the cuntstomer's reaction, but it does state that he didn't get his warranty replacement.
  7+ years later, we're all still laughing.
  
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3. Re:Way back in the day... by AllUsernamesAreGone · 2003-10-21 01:01 · Score: 4, Interesting
  
  "Obvioulsy some people lack any trace of common sence, and need to be told every little thing."
  
  Which assumes, of course, that they actually read them. My experience is that people will only look at documentation (printed or otherwise) when all other options - including helpdesks, support lines, friends, prayer and personal application to God or Godess of choice - have been exhausted. And then the read it incorrectly or misunderstand it and break it anyway.
  
  My opinion is that companies that provide user obsequious documentation is preventing the correct course of evolution...
Mounting the heatsink by ctrl-alt-elite · 2003-10-20 20:14 · Score: 5, Insightful

The scariest part of upgrading I've found is the daunting process of mounting the heatsink on the processor. Most newer heatsinks have a little latch that helps with ease of installation, but there're always those renegade heatsinks without latches that just give me the jibblies to install.

It wouldn't be so much of a problem if the heatsinks didn't require so much force to fit over the nubs on the processor housing that you have to press on them with a screwdriver, risking the integrity of the printed circuitry around the processor and your sanity as you press down on them in hope that they'll fit. But no... they still make you press like there's no tomorrow.
Upgrading is easy... by Realistic_Dragon · 2003-10-20 20:28 · Score: 3, Funny

Just make sure you have done a full (or preferably 2) full backups first - then it doesnt matter what you do to your PC, nothing will go wrong. Hell, juggle the ram chips, play football with the hard disk, drop bits onto passing pedestrians... whatever the hell you feel like. It'll all work just fine.

This state of affairs can obviously be implied from the case where you attempt to upgrade without backing up and it takes 0.0000001 seconds for something fatal to happen to your hard disk.

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Beep beep.
Re:PS2 Mice by zakezuke · 2003-10-20 21:13 · Score: 4, Interesting

You wouldn't believe how many people don't realize you can fry a motherboard that way...

I have to pleed ignorance here, never knew you COULD fry a motherboard this way. In fact... I can't think of a hell of alot you can do to the ps/2 ports that would fry a motherboard. I'll tell ya why, cause the 5volt line has a fuse on it. I can't remember the rating, something like 2amp @ 120v or some such, a pretty damn massive fuse considering the typical load on those ports.

I can believe that you can do harm with a straight short, but i've seen motherboards survive coffee in the keyboard and my self i've shorted out a keyboard or two being foolish, and the motherboards in question only needed a replacement fuse.

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There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
Dan's Data Did it first. by Gwala · 2003-10-20 21:28 · Score: 4, Informative

Dan's Data: Step by Step 3: How to destroy your computer

It's a much funnier article - and still relevant, despite the fact that it's been there for ~5 years now. :)

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#!/bin/csh cat $0
Re:PS2 Mice by jeti · 2003-10-20 21:43 · Score: 5, Insightful

The one that really kills me is when someone plugs in a PS2 mouse while the system is running

The one that really kills me is that there are people who design a system that can be destroyed by reattaching a mouse.
Re:Repost! But improved! by a.koepke · 2003-10-20 21:49 · Score: 5, Informative

Yes, and they reproduced it from Australian Personal Computer Magazine, January 1998... of which I have copy.

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Re:poor server by ssassen · 2003-10-20 23:10 · Score: 3, Informative

We're actually on a 100Mbit connection right on the AMS-IX, one of the fastest internet gateways in Europe. We're doing just fine actually, we just needed to reconfigure Apache to allow for more simultaneous users, the server is not even close to being taxed. In case you're wondering what we're running, I've listed the configuration below.

- 2 x Intel 2.8GHz Xeon with HT
- Tyan Tiger i7501 motherboard
- 2GB of PC2100/DDR266 Registered DDR memory
- 4 x Seagate Cheetah 15K3 HDs, 37GB, U320 SCSI
- Adaptec 2200S U320 SCSI RAID controller
- Disks are run in a RAID10 configuration

Sander Sassen

ssassen@hardwareanalysis.com
http://www.hardwareanalysis.com
Dr. Seuss wouldn't do it, either by plover · 2003-10-21 02:52 · Score: 4, Funny

Not in the dark, not with a spark.
Not on a boatse, not with a goatse.
I won't mod the box, and I won't overclox.
I will not hot swap it here or there.
I will not hot swap it anywhere!
I do not hot plug CPUs, Sam. I will not do it, Sam-I-Am.

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John