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Microsoft Raises Security Game, Notes Shortcomings Elsewhere
LMCBoy writes "Steve Ballmer recently told an industry conference that Microsoft software is more secure than Linux. PJ at Groklaw has a nice, thorough analysis of this dubious claim. She points out that not only are there vastly more Microsoft exploits reported, but that the exploits tend to be much more severe, involving remote administrator access." In related news, mhesseltine writes "According to an article from the Washington Post, in an unusually ironic twist, Microsoft has started talking smack about their own products, instead of those of their competitors. Bill Gates said of Office 'it's too hard to find things in e-mail' and described some features of Word as 'clunky.'"
Microsoft has started talking smack about their own products, instead of those of their competitors
I guess when you are so proficient at talking smack you are likely to hit one of your own at some point.
Of course the clunkiest feature of Office is the part where you have pay several hundred dollars for it. I wish they'd get that bug ironed out already.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
Gates highlights improvements in Office 2003 over Office 2000 during the product launch!
It's arma-fucking-geddon!
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
The programs we sell right now are not any good!
So, as soon as the next version comes out, buy it! We will have everything fixed, honest!
Looking for people to chat about multicopters, coding, music. skype: gtsiros
Funny, I've never had a problem with this. I just type a couple of words describing what i'm looking for into the finding pane, and it gives me a sorted list of all the e-mails i have based on probable relevance where those words show up. It works just like in iTunes.
Of course, this is because i am using Apple Mail for Mac OS X.
Of Course Windows is more secure than linux, once you disconnect it from the network...
Good security is based upon reality and common sense. Common sense is a function of having common knowledge.
"There is no road map for Linux, nobody who has his rear end on the line. We think it's an advantage a commercial company can bring--we provide a road map, indemnify customers. They know where to send e-mail." Steve Ballmer said. He neglected to add "It's not like we read that email, but at least you know where they can stick it - sorry, I mean send it", but was clearly thinking it.
Craft Beer Programming T-shirts
Maybe he was talking about clippy. I bet clippy haunts old Bill's dreams at night.
Bill: "WHY oh WHY did I ask for an animated paperclip????"
Clippy: "It looks like you're suffering from a nervous breakdown. Press F2 for synonyms of 'nervous breakdown'."
Clunkiest 'bug' I've ever seen in office.
find / -name "*.sig" | xargs rm
in an unusually ironic twist, Microsoft has started talking smack about their own products
finally microsoft does something innovative.
my pet machine
Yeah, that's why all the Bind and Sendmail authors were rounded up and shot year ago.
DrLunch.com The site that tells you what's for lunch!
Ballmer proceeded to point at the thin air next to him for three minutes while muttering what sounded like 'their little pig eyes they bore into my soul like dirty knives' and scanning the audience.
"What about the security issues?" asked Jayson Blair, cub reporter for D-Cup Magazine.
"And those button bars with the sometimes incomprehensible tiny icons. Those are works of art!" cried Ballmer. "If you can't understand what one means, you are nothing more than an animal. An animal, I tell you! Do you hear? An animal who sleeps in his own wastes and eats his own children! Die!"
"Do you have any data to back up your claim of being more secure than Linux?" asked Asian reporter Trish Takinawa of Channel 104 Public Access in Parumph, Nevada.
"Data!" thundered Ballmer. "We're freaking Microsoft, toots! We don't need any stinking dat-"
Ha ha! This has gone far enough!" said a swarthy man in ninja clothing from the back of the crowd as he leapt up onto a dusty platform festooned with tattered remnants of long dead happiness.
"So! Phil Schiller. Head of Marketing at Apple Computer," Ballmer said. "I wondered when we'd meet again."
"And it is as I said, ha-ha, at a time and place of my design, ha-ha!" heckled Schiller has he drew his adamantine katana from it's sheath. Gold plated depleted uranium throwing stars twinkled and glistened with righteousness in his other hand.
Strange alien devices began to scuttle threatingly from Ballmer's massive pores. They dripped with sweat. The sweat hit the floor and burned little holes.
Reporters scattered in a storm of makeup and microphone cable. Somewhere, a bird of prey cried out. A baby cried. Someone broke Godwin's law for the 5000th time that day. An charmed quark spontaneously appeared, but only briefly.
Schiller's bright eyes started down the angry monkey eyes of his eternal nemesis, and the world held it's breath...
--- Ban humanity.
It's Official...
Steve and Bill are high on life per say. If you can call high on life smoking dubious amounts of crack-cocaine.
In the twisted ramblings of these two mad men there is a rhyme to their reason. It is just unfortunate that to discern their meanings you must be "in the zone."
Thus, Bill and Steve reached an agreeement they would be bundling crack with windows 2003 family edition.
Bill and Steve could not be reached for comment, but a spokesperson for Microsoft said they were all really buzzing with these new enhancements to the windows product line.
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
"Thank you for your "insight", Captain Obvious! "
and
"Thank you for explaining your "insight", Captain Obvious. "
I think I'm stuck in a Turing test. Are you a human or a chatbot?
So many people here love to claim that MS Word sucks ass, and Outlook blows donkey dicks. In fact, they don't. They do what they're supposed to do, and they do it well.
Yes! Your quite right!
It's Word that blows donkey dicks, not Outlook.
Outlook just looses your emails after 2 megs of data - oh, and it fucks you in the eye if you don't feed it.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
Then explain the rise in SCO stock.
"that's not encryption - it's a new perl script that I'm working on..." - from some Matrix parody
Besides, even if they don't know where to send the email, I'm sure SoBig does.
Stop the Slashdot effect! Don't read the articles!
Dear Microsoft Representative,
There is an elementary lesson in all of this for you to learn. The reason why people do not stop raising counter-issues to your claims is because they continue to be false. As long as your company's PR department keeps releasing information that even it knows is flawed, there will be reactionaries who vocally decry you.
Contrary to what you would like to believe, this is a good thing. If people did not stay true to their causes, and stay true to vocalizing them, then the rights and freedoms of the United States of America would become an even more worthless set of abilities.
It is the voice of reason that keeps the errors and deceptions of businesses much like your own, lit up for the unknowing masses to see. Without that voice of reason, eventually all reason will be lost, and the people will suffer under the ever-tightening grip of misconception.
Be thankful for the people who have the persistence and bravery to keep their beliefs aloft, for without them, you would not be in the world that you live in.
It is my hope that you will take this message, and share it with your fellow employees at Microsoft Corporation, so that they will understand that it is all part of the great system called life. Not a personal attack, or anything so mundane as that. Perhaps then you and your co-workers will feel better with yourself, and even come to rationally view the counter-issues themselves, bringing your standards of development to a higher level.
One can always hope, at any rate.
Yours truly,
Sociology 101