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A Call for Expandable Codpieces In MMORPGs
Staci Krause writes "The Core for Entertainment and Gaming has an editorial on the growing trend in MMORPGs to to make every area of a woman's anatomy customizable. The female writer of the editorial doesn't mind this at all, but would like to see the same applied to a man's anatomy as well, suggesting: 'Is it so wrong of me to want to see a well endowed man online to run around and battle hideous monsters with?'"
1 - "Gnome with a DDD cup" is not exactly an attribute that comes to mind when I think of attractive women. "Hey, lookit the ta-tas on that female gnome!"
2 - "Expandable codpieces"? Give me a break. Women are beautiful. The female body is one of the most elegant things (at least in some incarnations) created by nature. Men, well, I dunno, naked guys not being my cup of tea, but "partially decorated christmas tree" comes to mind. "Goofy-lookin" is another adjective.
3 - I always thought that women were a bit less physical than guys? Correct me if I'm wrong, I know that my female friends often look after a guy they think is attractive (male companion: *snort* "he's probably gay") but at least I figured that girls were at least a bit less apt to wolf-whistle at nice-looking men (unless they're 40-ish and desperate.) I know it's a bit stereotypical of me to say so, but I can't remember the last time I heard "hey, nice trouser snake!". But then again, maybe that's just because it's me....
4 - Girls with guns and swords and jet fighters and kung fu moves are just sexy, period. Maybe it's that I find assertive (not bitchy or dominant) women attractive, but I've heard similar statements from lots of male friends. The idea of h0t Ch1x that can blow things up, do gymnastics, and ride speedbikes (Lara Croft, anyone?) is just appealing. I've yet to see a woman get weak-kneed over Conan or Dirty Harry.
5 - If you're really into esoteric codpieces, may I suggest renting some Blackadder DVDs. Black, his codpiece made of metal....
That said, I'm all for equal rights in games. If someone wants to customize their 35th level troll barbarian in any and every aspect, great. Frankly, it'd be sort of funny to see what the 13 year old pimply gamer set comes up with--although I can't see having a Rogue constantly tripping over the enormous 5 foot schlong dragging from his left trouser leg having an enormous advantage in combat.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
"So how'd you die?"
"Fell off a cliff."
"How'd you manage that?"
"Pushed."
"He pushed you off a cliff?"
"Well.. maybe not pushed.. more like jousted."
"Jousted?!"
"You jousted with him near a cliff?"
"Yep."
"Uh.. but you didn't have a staff."
"Well, no, not one I bought at the store..."
"???"
"It's a guy thing, alright?"
"... So he jousted you off the cliff with his.."
"Well, no, not exactly. I yelled his name and challenged him to joust, and he just.. turned around. Next thing I know there's a cartoonesque hole in the ground."
"Derp de derp."
Don't you read your email? These kind of 'upgrades' are already available!
-Adam
If you really want to make it fair, the equivalent of female breasts is the male pectorals. It's not a sexual organ. Now if you want to go about customizing codpiece size, then how about allowing the ability to customize female avatars with attributes like pubic mound size, degree of camel toe, clitoral projection, etc. Do you want your avatar's clitoris to poke out through the labia, or to remain hidden within the labia?
Want to have more customization? Bring it on!