Japanese Airline Sells Flight Sim On-Board

Thanks to GameSpot for their report that a Japanese airline are selling a PC flight sim on-board their domestic routes, allowing resourceful laptop owners to buy the game in mid-air, and then replicate the flight they're currently taking. According to the article, "This game, called 'A Flight with Skymark,' allows players to take control of a Skymark badged 767 and fly any of that airline's routes", and this PC budget software "will be featured in in-flight videos and the airline's magazine as being available for purchase during the flight."

Comments

tsarkon reports THE GREASED YODA DOLL

[Anonymous Coward]

GREASED YODA !

8 steps to greasing your anus for yoda doll insertion

1) defecate. preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage and hot sauces.
2) wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns
3) prime anus with anal ease.
4) slather richly a considerable amount of vaseline or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your yoda doll or yoda soap on a rope and liberally apply it.
5) pucker your ballon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in
6) slowly rest yourself onto your yoda figurine
7) make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because that is built in.
8) gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Read slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you dont check the (desired - speaks english) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black And Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you cant afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who arent fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a yoda voice and saying, feel the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes. When 900 years you reach, a dick half as big you will not have.

All in a days work with a yoda figurine rammed up your ass.

Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Take your ass grease pills and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God's love shove up you
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Shove Up
This is Ground Control to Yoda Doll
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose butts you tear
Now it's time to leave the suppository if you dare
"This is Yoda Doll to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm stinking in a most peculiar way
And the ass look very different today
For here am I sitting in an ass can
Far inside the butt
My face is turning blue
And there's nothing I can do
Though I'm past one hundred thousand bowels
I'm feeling very still
And I think my buttship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I ream her very much, she knows"
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you....
"Here am I floating in my ass can
Far inside his Moon
My face is turning blue
And there's nothing I can do."

Hey

[Anonymous Coward]

I wonder if my pimp will offer GTA

Re:Hey

[Synic]

No, but they might have this one:

Pimps at Sea

911 Jokes Betting Pool - Comment here.

[Elwood P Dowd]

How many /.ers will joke about hijackers using this software to rehearse crashing into buildings minutes ahead of time? Also, include jokes about people that may be considered terrorists if they do poorly at the flight sim.

My money is on 10 separate top level jokes.

Re:911 Jokes Betting Pool - Comment here.

[Anonymous Coward]

Silly Elwood. This is the games section. You won't get ten top-level comments period, let alone ten bad jokes.

Sounds like fun.

[WTFmonkey]

I was talking to an old-timer pilot a while ago who tells stories about getting into the bubble of the plane and taking sextant sightings to figure where to point the plane. It wasn't uncommon to be WAY off-course when you were out over the middle of the ocean, only to be corrected once overland. He was complaining that the new airbusses actually land the plane for you-- the pilot only has to land every 10 or 12 times to make sure he remembers how.

Somehow, autopiloting a plane for hours doesn't seem like a real fun game. "Okay, folks, we'll be cruising at this altitude for the next six hours, sit back and enjoy yourselves..." while the pilot does the same thing. Whee.

Re:Sounds like fun.

[Carnildo]

He was complaining that the new airbusses actually land the plane for you-- the pilot only has to land every 10 or 12 times to make sure he remembers how.

And this is why I won't ride on an Airbus plane -- the autopilot can override the pilot.

About a decade back, there was an incident where an Airbus plane made a nice, perfectly controlled descent towards a Boston neighborhood, three miles from the airport. The pilot realized that the airplane was going to land short of the runway, and took over manual control of the landing. But the autopilot wouldn't let him land at the airport -- it thought he was overshooting the runway by three miles! After a few tries, the pilot was forced to land at a different airport -- one that the airplane was willing to admit existed.

Re:Sounds like fun.

[Acidic_Diarrhea]

This is off-topic BUT I was talking to a former commercial pilot and somehow we got onto the topic of driving in traffic (I believe he steered it that way) and you would not believe how touchy this guy was about signaling. I don't know if it's the way most pilots feel but he was very, very adamant about the importance of proper signaling whenever a lane change was going to happen. A bit odd since airplanes don't have blinkers...

Anyway, they should add a little extra to that game where you can see how the passangers are doing. Make a nose dive and see if you can get that drunk fat guy to fall down and throw up. Or perhaps make an unscheduled landing in Vegas and pick up some hookers - tempt that priest in 4A with her - see what happens. And of course, they could add the obligatory terrorist where the game turns into Double Dragon for a bit of time.

Re:Sounds like fun.

[Anonymous Coward]

IAAAP[1].

You can force A32x and 34x aircraft into direct law, where the computers (with the exception of the ones that read the joystick and give commands to the flight control surfaces) are entirely disabled. The incident you are describing happened because he was trying to do a landing without radio navaids and forgot to align the inertial measurement units beforehand, resulting in what we call "Map Drift". It was negligence on the pilot's part. He should have flown the landing himself, but he never disengaged autoland.

You can always disable autoland. There is no exception. You can also fly the airplane into the ground. There is even a button on the overhead to disable the GPWS alarms so the system doesn't irritate you when you do this. Otherwise, how would you ditch the aircraft at sea if the need arises? (There is also a DITCHING switch on the overhead which closes all of the air intakes below the water line in the event of a ditching, so that the aircraft will float.)

The idea that the pilot can't override the flight-control computers is bullshit spread by Boing drivers because they can't fly anywhere near as smoothly as the Airbus autoflight.

The only thing the autoflight will not let you do is stall outside the landing configuration, and there is never any reason whatsoever to stall the Airbus. (But if you really really want to, force direct law and you can do it.)

[1]I Am An Airbus Pilot.

Re:Sounds like fun.

[Terminal Saint]

A pilot friend of mine was telling me that a joke ammong pilots is "I can't fly for crap anymore, but I can type 60 words per minute."

Ahhh...

[jhoffoss]

And another slow day on /.

Imagine the Daymare...

[vigilology]

You bank right in the flight sim, the aeroplane you're in banks right. You bank left in the flight sim, the aeroplane you're in banks left. Oh my god, you're controlling the friggin' 'plane! You wake up with a startle.

real cameras

[Jahf]

I would much more enjoy being able to see actual video out of the front of the cockpit ("pilot's eye view"). I fly frequently and am always wishing I could see that view, and perhaps a wide-angle down view, while craning my neck out the window.

Re:real cameras

[Yakman]

I recently flew Lauda to Europe from Australia, on one of their 777s, and they had exactly this as part of the entertainment system. There was a channel that was a "pointing down" camera and one that was a "Pilots Eye" view.

The downwards pointing one would have been a lot cooler if it was a bit more wide angle, and the pilots eye was kinda useless most of the time since in cruise the nose is usually angled slightly upwards, so all you could see was sky.

However, when coming in to land the nose cam was very cool, especially coming in to a windy Vienna and seeing the whole view skewed by about 5-10 degrees as the pilot had to yaw the plane to correct for crosswind.

Both cameras had the downside that they weren't very high quality (both resolution and image quality) and so didn't cope well with low ambient light levels.. landing was cool at night though, because you could see just the runway lights.

Re:real cameras

[p-p-pom]

The recent JAL (Japan Airlines) planes have two cameras, one in front of the cockpit and one at the back of the plane. But they make you pay through the nose for a ticket :(

Replacing the pilots

[Alereon]

This is actually just a cost-cutting measure. By using passengers with laptops to control the plane, they don't have to employ pilots. Welcome to the future of aviation! Shades of Ender's Game and all that.

Re:Replacing the pilots

[neglige]

By using passengers with laptops to control the plane

Only problem is: during takeoff and landing you have to turn off all electronic devices...

Ah well, crashing the plane gets rid of the unsold game copies :)

Brilliant

[wev162]

Plan to Profit

1)Sell Marked up budget flight sim game to a capative audience

2)...

3)"Rent" a cheapo Joystick to all the buyers who realize they can't control their new game with track point or a touchpad

4)PROFIT!!!

Hmmm

[proctorg76]

I think you might be on to something there. Have there been any rumors about the next big crime simulator game being Grand Theft Aircraft?

Just what we need

[Anonymous Coward]

I've gotten strange looks from people in bars and other public places as I or a friend discuss what we did last night on GTA (running over cops, chainsawing hookers, etc). I imagine talking of 767's crashing by over-zealous gamers(Oh SH*T the wing's come off!) is not a good thing on board a plane.

How much you wanna bet...

[EnVisiCrypt]

...that this is just a plan to fly the plane using passengers as a cheap, distributed, AI cluster? Just think, if you average the maneuvers of each of the sim pilots... ;)

Re:How much you wanna bet...

[Spiffae]

"... Just think, if you average the maneuvers of each of the sim pilots... ;)"

The plane will crash, every time. :)

Wha'?

[itwerx]

...allowing resourceful laptop owners to buy the game in mid-air, and then replicate the flight they're currently taking...players to take control of a Skymark badged 767 and fly any of that airline's routes..."

This is the stupidest marketing move I've ever heard of. (Well, okay, maybe not quite that bad. :)
But seriously, why the heck would I want to pay money for a crippled flight simulator?
If I want to play with flight simulator software I'll buy one that actually gives me some options!

Re:Wha'?

[Single GNU Theory]

But seriously, why the heck would I want to pay money for a crippled flight simulator?

Because the intended audience for the game is captive, somewhat uncomfortable, and most importantly, bored.

I am humbled by true genius

[cathouse]

This is without any doubt whatsoever the most perfect marketing ploy in the entire history of selling! To even think of NOT buying has to put the nagging fear that NO ONE IS FLYING THE PLANE solidly into the center of our deepest fears!

Great, no we all gonna die.

[nege]

I can see the terrorists licking their lips at this one all the way over here!!

humor folks....

Re:Pearl Harbor Jokes Betting Pool - Comment here.

[Micro$will]

Well, I'll only be interested in this flight sim if they included planes other than the 767, like the Mitsubishi A6M2 (Zeke) or D3A1 (Val) and had flights to Pearl Harbor.

Language

[Anonymous Coward]

That entire page is written in GOOK!

Cute. But a little pricey!

[WoTG]

For $26 you get to buy an advertisement for the airline... It seems like something that should be given away - unless the developers are on some sort of commission.