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Traffic Light Switcher Makes Critics See Red
An anonymous reader writes "According to a Yahoo/Washington Post article: 'It sounds like a suffering commuter's dream come true: a dashboard device that changes red traffic lights to green at the touch of a button.
Police, fire and rescue vehicles have had access to such equipment for years, but now the devices are becoming available to ordinary motorists
thanks to advances in technology and a little help from the Internet. Safety advocates are outraged, and news accounts in Michigan last week
led to politicians there seeking a ban on the gadgets'." Update: 11/06 02:25 GMT by S : A previous Slashdot story mentions the device, though not the Michigan legislature's subsequent ire.
where can I get one of these before they are banned?? I hate traffic in LA
I think it is.
I meta-mod all positive moderation Unfair, because it's abuse of the system.
in greased yoda doll's honor, ill post the song and the greased instructions.
GREASED YODA !
8 steps to greasing your anus for yoda doll insertion
1) defecate. preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage and hot sauces.
2) wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns
3) prime anus with anal ease.
4) slather richly a considerable amount of vaseline or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your yoda doll or yoda soap on a rope and liberally apply it.
5) pucker your ballon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in
6) slowly rest yourself onto your yoda figurine
7) make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because that is built in.
8) gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Read slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you dont check the (desired - speaks english) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black And Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you cant afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who arent fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a yoda voice and saying, feel the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes. When 900 years you reach, a dick half as big you will not have.
All in a days work with a yoda figurine rammed up your ass.
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Take your ass grease pills and put your helmet on
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God's love shove up you
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Shove Up
This is Ground Control to Yoda Doll
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose butts you tear
Now it's time to leave the suppository if you dare
"This is Yoda Doll to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm stinking in a most peculiar way
And the ass look very different today
For here am I sitting in an ass can
Far inside the butt
My face is turning blue
And there's nothing I can do
Though I'm past one hundred thousand bowels
I'm feeling very still
And I think my buttship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I ream her very much, she knows"
Ground Control to Yoda Doll
Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you hear me, Yoda Doll?
Can you....
"Here am I floating in my ass can
Far inside his Moon
My face is turning blue
And there's nothing I can do."
I'm a resident of Chesterfield, Missouri. Chesterfield is a rich suburb of St. Louis. I work as a crossing guard at a local elementary school...I have seen, without fail, 3 or 4 cars that cause the lights to change when they approach. Chesterfield is a great community, don't get me wrong, but I think there is a set of schlimeles out there that think way too much of their wealth and are corrupting the system.
The linux hacker
I already refuse to drive because cars are so dangerous, what we need a is yet another tool to assist people in driving dangerously. I was pissed off enough about those bastard speed camera detectors.
I'm a fucking commie. Long live public transport.
fortune -o
the site appears to be slashdotted...here's a mirror of the content
Yes, the 8 steps. Not necessarily a Magnum Opus, as they were constructed in haste to honor the Greased Yoda Doll as quickly as possible. I was laughing to the point of breaking a sweat when I was writing that.
I need to broaden my line of Yoda literary products and post them with great vigor for public consumption!
Greased Up Yoda Doll is My Lover
Written & composed by Greasedyoda Jackson
He was more like a beauty queen from a star wars movie scene
I said don?t mind getting greased up, but what do you mean I am the one?
Who will grease up on the floor in the round
He said I am the one who will get greased up on the floor in the round
He told me his name was Greased up Yoda, as he caused a scene
Then every purple head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will grease up on the floor in the round
People always told me be careful of what you do
And don?t go around breaking boys? rectums
And mother always told me be careful of who you grease up and shove
And be careful of what you do [in the ass] ?cause the lie becomes the truth
Greased p Yoda is my lover
He?s just a "girl" who claims that I am the one
But the kid is my greased up Yoda and my son
He says I am the one, but the kid is my greased up Yoda doll!
For forty days and forty nights
The law was on his side
But who can stand when he?s in demand
His schemes and plans
?cause we greased up on the floor in the round
So take my strong advice, just remember to always shove it up a greased ass twice
(do shove twice)
He told my baby, we where anally gyrating till 3:00
Then he looked at me, he showed me a photo
My anal lover cried, ?cause his anus wasn't as wide as mine
People always told me be careful of what you do
And don?t go around shoving Greased Yoda Dolls in you ass!
He came and stood right up my ass.
Then the smell of sweet anal fumes
This happened much too soon
He called me to his room
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
He?s just a doll who claims that I am the one
But the greasy anal remnants is my son
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
He?s just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the Yoda doll is my anal toy
He says I am the one, but the Doll is in my ass
He says I am the one, but the Doll is in my ass
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
He?s just a doll who claims that I am the one
But the Yoda doll is my anal toy
He says I am the one, but the Doll is in my ass
He says I am the one, but the Doll is in my ass
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
Greased Up Yoda Doll is my lover
It wasn't clear if Neo died or not.
Agent Smith shows turns the Oracle into a copy of himself. Neo and Trinity take one ship and head off to the machine city, Morpheus and the others head back to Zion. The Agent Smith who took over the guy's body in the real world blinds Neo, then Neo kills him. The ship crashes into the machine city and Trinity dies. The other ship makes it back to Zion and fires an EMP, killing a crapload of Sentinels but crippling Zion's defenses. Neo talks to the head machine, gets him to call a truce, and goes back into the matrix. Everyone in the Matrix is now an Agent Smith. He fights the one that used to be the Oracle. Smith beats Neo, then turns Neo into a copy of himself, then the Neo copy explodes, then all the Smiths explode. The remaining Sentinals in Zion go home without killing everyone, and the Matrix is reborn. Neo dies.
Oh, and Monica Belucci and her BIG FUCKING TITS make a brief appearance at the beginning, which is by far the best thing about the movie.