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SCO Will Pay You Not to Use Linux

Verteiron writes: "As if things weren't weird enough already, SCO is now planning to pay companies to migrate away from Linux.. even if it's not toward UNIX. According to the summary over at Groklaw, SCO will provide 'financial incentives and discounts' to users that switch to 'other operating systems that have a stronger IP basis than Linux.' This doubly amusing when considered together with the following statements straight from SCO's 8-K form filed with the SEC: '...plans to expand SCO's intellectual property licensing program to allow for migration alternatives to end users... and continued efforts to protect SCO's UNIX intellectual property rights and SCO's belief that the private investment will enhance SCO's ability to pursue currently pending legal actions... SCO has a history of unprofitability and has only realized revenue from its SCOsource licensing initiative during the last two quarters...'"

19 of 513 comments (clear)

  1. Better than free? by gooberguy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Where do I sign up?

    --


    Karma: Meh (Mostly from meh.)
    1. Re:Better than free? by tambo · · Score: 5, Funny
      Where do I sign up?

      Right below the line that says, "Contract with SCO, a newly-acquired subsidiary of Microsoft, Inc."

      - David Stein

      --
      Computer over. Virus = very yes.
    2. Re:Better than free? by Brad+Mace · · Score: 5, Funny

      How long do I have to switch for? Can I just keep switching back and forth and rack up some money?

    3. Re:Better than free? by iconian · · Score: 5, Funny

      Where do I sign up?

      Go to Soviet Russia and sign -- because in Soviet Russia, SCO will pay YOU!

    4. Re:Better than free? by kalidasa · · Score: 4, Funny

      Do I have to sign it in blood? Mephistopheles always made me sign his contracts in my own blood.

  2. w000! by devphaeton · · Score: 4, Funny

    I have 5 FreeBSD boxes running.

    Where do i sign up?

    --


    do() || do_not(); // try();
  3. Underwear gnomes by grasshoppa · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ok, seriously, who thinks the underwear gnomes have a better bussiness plan?

    --
    Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
    1. Re:Underwear gnomes by IthnkImParanoid · · Score: 4, Funny

      Unfortunately, they don't. The underwear gnomes never figured out that step 2 is "Get money from Microsoft."

      --
      It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
    2. Re:Underwear gnomes by WTFmonkey · · Score: 4, Funny
      I know not these underwear gnomes. What are they?

      The only gnomes I know of are the ones that take shits in the corners of your eyes while you're asleep.

    3. Re:Underwear gnomes by cshark · · Score: 4, Funny

      Right, but where this differs is that the underwear gnomes would need to go out and start convincing people to wear socks instead of underwear, and pay them for it.

      Which would make their business plan look something like this:

      1. Collect underwear
      2. Get $26,000,000 from microsoft.
      3. Give the money away to those that prefer to wear socks instead of underwear.
      4. PROFIT!

      --

      This signature has Super Cow Powers

  4. Sweet by Illserve · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't run Linux on my wristwatch. Where's my check?

    1. Re: Sweet by Rob+Riggs · · Score: 4, Funny

      Do you think they have a replacement OS for my LinkSys?

      --
      the growth in cynicism and rebellion has not been without cause
  5. Sounds like a great business plan .... by scotch · · Score: 4, Funny
    4 or 5 years ago during the dot.bomb days.

    VC weenie: What's your business plan?
    Darl McB: Pay people to switch from an OS we don't own to others we don't own.
    VC weenie: Here's 5 million dollars - can I be on your board?

    --
    XML causes global warming.
  6. Installing SCOware on Virtual Machines by billstewart · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sure, I'll be happy to switch N virtual machines over to a binary-only SCOware or Microsoft instead of Linux, if they'll pay me enough per virtual machine. .

    --

    Bill Stewart
    New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
  7. More like... by IthnkImParanoid · · Score: 5, Funny

    Potential Investor: What's your business plan?

    Guy with goatee: We'll be selling e-products over the e-web. Our e-services will include e-billing, e-shipping, and e-tracking. This will actually reduce our infrastructure and overhead costs to negative numbers, so we won't even need to actually sell anything.

    PI: Here's all my money, and my 18 year old duaghter.

    --
    It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
  8. SCO: Your plan has worked. by Hanzie · · Score: 4, Funny

    The article says:

    Incentives will be offered "in the coming months."

    Attention SCO: Your plan has worked!

    I'm migrating from MS to Linux right now in preparation for the incentives to migrate away later.

    --
    ********* sig: If you don't like the law, get filthy stinking rich, and buy a better one.
  9. Re:My head will burst...Daffy by bstadil · · Score: 5, Funny
    Scott Lazar over at GrokLaw had this theroy

    More like that one Daffy Duck short where he's on stage, struggling mightily to get ANY kind of audience reaction.

    He sings, he dances, and the audience just yawns. Finally he uses his one remaining sure-fire act to get a reaction. He swills down a bottle of nitroglycerin and makes himself explode.

    And the crowd goes wild, but meanwhile, nothing but of Daffy remains except for a black stain. That's what this whole thing is:

    Daffy, until it explodes and there's nothing left.

    --
    Help fight continental drift.
  10. $50 million for crack??? by pair-a-noyd · · Score: 4, Funny

    How in God's name can so few smoke so much in so little time??

    Damn, and I thought the people on the west side were bad!

  11. Simple... by schon · · Score: 4, Funny

    How does this make sense from a business perspective?

    Simple - they're using MPAA/RIAA math!

    See, for every person who uses your IP for free, you lose money - so you figure out how much you're losing per unit, and offer people less money than that to not use your IP..

    For example, if SCO determines that they're losing $100 per Linux server, and there are currently 100,000 people running Linux that would take them up on their offer, then all they have to do is offer people $50 to not run Linux.. then Viola! They've now made a positive difference of $50,000,000 to their bottom line!

    Disclaimer: although I'm currently drunk, this makes perfect sense to me. I may or may not feel the same way once I've sobered up.