Feature-Length Matrix Spoof to be Released Soon

CrazyMFW writes "'The Helix Loaded', a feature length spoof of the Matrix, has been unveiled to coincide with the general release of The Matrix Revolutions. At LA screenings of the third matrix installment, customers are being handed CD-ROMS shaped like a Red Pill or a Blue Pill. The CD-ROM includes a teaser trailer as a quicktime movie, and directs users to the web site for The Helix. The teaser trailers can also be downloaded from the site. No release date is mentioned for the film, but it does promise several further teaser installments at 2 week intervals - so we should learn more in the next couple of months. From the brief clips it looks like they've done a good job imitating the Matrix CGI on a low-budget."

Comments

Hi Chris

[Anonymous Coward]

"Ugh... UGH!" Chris Pirillo moaned as he squatted
over the ThumbDrive. He eyes darted back and
forth like a stone man and he sighed gay breaths
as he attempted to shove the device filled with the
entire line of eBooks into his anus. His geek house
trembled with fag vibrations coming from his crack
but then- his doorbell rang, whistling the tune
from "Matlock" throughout his hovel.

"Damn" he howled in a gay, sepulchral voice and
slipped on a pair of pastel slacks. He trapsed to
the threshold of his cold abode and grabbed the
greasy doorknob that was shaped like Birdman.
With a slavish sigh, he opened the door to see
none other than Adam Sessler himself!

A gay gasp escaped from Chris's dork lips and
Adam began to speak. Quickly, Chris snapped at him.
"Damnit for the last time you vagabond, you're not
supposed to be here!" The revolting nerd slammed
the door in Adam's face, but the Game Master
quickly shoved his iron boot inbetween the door
and the wall, wedging it open. "I have come for you,"
he spoke in a cold tone; electric arcs coursed
between the spikes in his cockneyed bleached hair.

Adam howled as a blast of mystic Boohbahs
emanated from his busy shirt and slammed
Chris down the hall and into a Microsoft Digital
Picture Frame. Chris grunted and swiped nerd
dust and sheetrock from his arms. He rose to
his feet and watched in horror as Adam brandished
a weapon made from 3 Xbox controllers tied
at the ends. "Oh my word! Game peripherals!"
the dork bellowed; the stench of Cheetos and
Diet Dr. Pepper wafted from his geek teeth.
Instantly his palms began to sweat at the very
sight of them, as if the grease from his McGriddle
hadn't slicked them up enough.

Chris tried to run from his game-playin' adversary,
but it was too late. Adam swung the weapon above
his head and threw it at the King of Nerds,
entangling his legs and forcing him to the floor.
Adam pulled a cestus made from PS2 DVDs
out of his Spice Girls backpack and rushed Chris.
He swiped at his turdly back over and over, causing
streams of cold blood to squirt from his flesh.
"Oh god, the horror, the HORROR!" Chris moaned
as Adam butchered him relentlessly. A old Brit with
one eye and a cockneyed accent burst into the
room and started kicking Chris in the side.

Chris was just about do die when... he rose from
his bed. It was just a dream! He laughed and
took a sip of more Brawls Guarana, hoping he
wouldn't fall asleep again. "Time to plot..." he
grumbled and shoved yet another pin into his
Leo Laporte voodoo doll.

Re:Hi Chris

[Anonymous Coward]

I think the story looks better this way, and the word is spelled traipsed, not "trapsed." Excellent work, but I would like the mention of a Greased Up Yoda Doll in someone's ass.

"Ugh... UGH!" Chris Pirillo moaned as he squatted over the ThumbDrive. He eyes darted back and forth like a stone man and he sighed gay breaths as he attempted to shove the device filled with the entire line of eBooks into his anus. His geek house trembled with fag vibrations coming from his crack but then- his doorbell rang, whistling the tune from "Matlock" throughout his hovel.

"Damn" he howled in a gay, sepulchral voice and slipped on a pair of pastel slacks. He traipsed to the threshold of his cold abode and grabbed the greasy doorknob that was shaped like Birdman. With a slavish sigh, he opened the door to see none other than Adam Sessler himself!

A gay gasp escaped from Chris's dork lips and Adam began to speak. Quickly, Chris snapped at him. "Damnit for the last time you vagabond, you're not supposed to be here!" The revolting nerd slammed the door in Adam's face, but the Game Master quickly shoved his iron boot in between the door and the wall, wedging it open. "I have come for you," he spoke in a cold tone; electric arcs coursed between the spikes in his cockneyed bleached hair.

Adam howled as a blast of mystic Boohbahs emanated from his busy shirt and slammed Chris down the hall and into a Microsoft Digital Picture Frame. Chris grunted and swiped nerd dust and sheetrock from his arms. He rose to his feet and watched in horror as Adam brandished a weapon made from 3 Xbox controllers tied at the ends. "Oh my word! Game peripherals!" the dork bellowed; the stench of Cheetos and Diet Dr. Pepper wafted from his geek teeth. Instantly his palms began to sweat at the very sight of them, as if the grease from his McGriddle hadn't slicked them up enough.

Chris tried to run from his game-playin' adversary, but it was too late. Adam swung the weapon above his head and threw it at the King of Nerds, entangling his legs and forcing him to the floor. Adam pulled a cestus made from PS2 DVDs out of his Spice Girls backpack and rushed Chris. He swiped at his turdly back over and over, causing streams of cold blood to squirt from his flesh. "Oh god, the horror, the HORROR!" Chris moaned as Adam butchered him relentlessly. A old Brit with one eye and a cockneyed accent burst into the room and started kicking Chris in the side.

Chris was just about do die when... he rose from his bed. It was just a dream! He laughed and took a sip of more Brawls Guarana, hoping he wouldn't fall asleep again. "Time to plot..." he grumbled and shoved yet another pin into his Leo Laporte voodoo doll.

Hmmm

[Pingular]

I didn't paticularly enjoy the Fanimatrix, I just hope they can do better with this one. (and yes I know the fanimatrix isn't a spoof, but it was made by fans).

http://www.thehelixloaded.com

[Dixie_Flatline]

That should be changed to http://www.thehelixslashdotted.com.

pingular IS sir haxalot

[Anonymous Coward]

GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE FAG, EVEN TROLLS HATE YOU

Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
Reason: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.

Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof

[Anonymous Coward]

I already posted that you post stealing cunt.

http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=85089&cid=7420 238

SO I GUESS YOU DON'T DENY THE "CUNT" PART THEN?

[Subject Line Troll]

Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd wager Bob the Angry Flower's sarcasm is much like the shit I took five minutes ago.

Troll

[Overly Critical Guy]

Waichovski? Don't be a moron.

the fight scene involving Neo rising up with many Agent Smiths around him--this is one of the (many) scenes in Reloaded where they actually used modified graphics from the video game, and thus the graphics were terrible in some parts of the movie.

No, they didn't. Those weren't modified graphics from the videogame. Who in the hell modded you up? At most, the game creators used very low-res textures that the ESC used, but ESC had almost microscopic laser scanners to create that scene.

Troll a little better next time.

Re:Troll

[Anonymous Coward]

Now this is funny. A troll calling another user a troll.

Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle.