Slashdot Mirror
IBM Subpoenas SCO Investors, Analysts
Bigfishbowl writes "Forbes has an interesting article about IBM sending subpoenas to large SCO investors in an effort to compel discovery. An IBM spokesman says IBM is frustrated by SCO's reluctance to produce proof of its allegations. '"It is time for SCO to produce something meaningful. They have been dragging their feet and it is not clear there is any incentive for SCO to try this in court," he says.'"
about IBM sending subpoenas to large SCO investors in an effort to compel discovery.
In the recent wake of subpoena frenzy, we at subpoenaforless.com are pleased to announce a 20% discount on all our printed subpoenas, and 25% discount on rose-smelling quadrichromic printed 320g paper models. Up to 40% off all our models of subpoenas can be had if you puchase in volume. We have many satisfied customers and you could be one too.
We're also working hard on the upcoming opening of our new online Internet portal, oneclicksubpoena.com. Be assure that we at subpoenaforless.com are committed to high quality, trouble free legal hassles.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
"I view this as an attempt to bully and intimidate..." says Christopher Sontag, executive vice president at SCO.
Oh, the irony.
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
...In that instant, knowing that his card sharking days, perhaps even his life was at risk, cardshark Darl McBride strikes with the venom of a wounded viper....
As IBM reaches for the pot, Darl plants his hidden blade into the unsuspecting IBM's outstreached hand.
Like the coward he is, Darl slinks out of the saloon, looking for other marks........he's survived this day, tomorrow will have to wait.
I am by no means in hell a lawyer
Oh, you mean IABNMIHAL.
I am so not a lawyer that I don't even know whether it would be admissible.
IASNALTIDEKWIWBA. Hmmm.
I think we should make IANAL the default assumption, so for those rare, nonexistant occasions an lawyer has something to add, he or she can just say IAAL and we'll save on millions of bits of bandwidth and storage.
Or, so it doesn't look like "I ANAL" maybe we could use "attorney" or "barraster" or something.
IANAA or IANAB.
Think about it, and get back to me.
Let's start referring to www.forbes.com as a "stock-market enthusiast Web site".
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Aces and Eights, the Dead Man's Hand.
The mind boggles! Sontag is asking IBM to deluge him in paper? He only has 100,000 pages, and he wants IBM to see his million and raise it!
Groan, somewhere, a forest cries in pain as the log chippers are fired up.
Do not start a land war in Asia, do not enter a paper war with IBM. Sheesh!
Protoplasm. Quiet Protoplasm. I like quiet protoplasm.
IANALS
I am not a land shark.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Friends don't let friends enable ecmascript.
well so far they don't even have a small pair. *shrugs* luck come, luck goes, but...
Sontag says SCO has provided 1 million pages of documents
I don't think he realizes that press releases don't count.
... that all of IBM's 100,000 pages so far all said:
"This page intentionally left blank."
Of course, all of SCO's 1M pages were diagrams of kittens and houses in crayon so they can hardly complain.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Business Diplomacy. As someone's .sig here on /. so aptly puts it:
"Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers
Soko
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
> But this knife cuts both ways -- OSS trolls like ESR could receive subpeonas from SCO in retailation.
Who cares. He'll show up dressed like Darth Vader, everyone will giggle while the bouncers toss him out, and the trial will proceed as before.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Oh, Chris, you words always have been so moooooooving.
There ain't no rules here; we're trying to accomplish something.
We may hear of an SCO offer to settle in the very near future.
If they do, it will show the same lack of understanding the German high command exhibited at the end of WWII:
With the Russians surrounding Hitler's bunker, the Germans actually sent an officer out to negotiate peace terms. After five minutes, the Russian general basically said "we have troops and you don't. No settlement other than unconditional surrender is possible."
SCO has spent six months pissing on IBM. Short of "Darl consents to be publically sodomized by the IBM executive of your choice," SCO may not have any negotiating points left.
I would make a joke about McBride not playing with a full deck, but as far as I can tell, SCO didn't even have a pack of cards when it sat down at the table.
Fred
"A fool and his freedom are soon parted"
-RMS
"Tee. Hee."
--
Don't like it? Respond with words, not karma.
Jesus...
D:!
I knew they were bastards, but this is just plain evil! Dealing with SCO is like dealing with the Wishmaster.
IBM: Genie, show us the infringing source code!
McBride: As you wish. (grins menacingly)
--> Cut to scene where terrified IBM attorneys are locked in a room as tons of CDRs containing PDF files with millions of pages of worthless bitmaps of scanned source code fall from nowhere, and crush them.
Fred
"A fool and his freedom are soon parted"
-RMS
I guess you just have to ask politely enough...
Q.
Insert Signature Here
I would like to purchase one (1) subpoena against oneclicksubpoena.com with regard to violation of US Patent# 5,960,411.
Sincerely,
amazon.com
Use ISO 8601 dates [YYYY-MM-DD]
From the Latin roots sub, for below, and poena, for male member. In other words, by the balls.
Well, I don't know about the file sharing part, but if you've spent time with Bruce in the last month or so, you'd know he says "arrrrr" too damn much. We keep telling him to save it for the next Talk Like a Pirate Day, but he just calls us scurvy dogs and tells us to walk the plank.
It's getting ridiculous, frankly.
Darl consents to be publically sodomized by the IBM executive of your choice
Ugh, I thought we were talking about IBM winning.
the no
This is just a hunch, mind you, the sort of thing you feel like you know without knowing how you know it, but reading this newest SCO thread, I got a strong premonition that this case has reached the stage where, by the time it is all over, some people connected are going to be dead, by what at least looks like suicide. If I'm right, you can call me psychic, or say it was a subconsious awareness of similarities between this case and Worldcon and other previous ones, but I'm willing to go on record with the prediction either way. (And If I AM right, I'm gonna claim first post to the thread that will doubtless result).
Who is John Cabal?
The easiest answer is probably the honest one: "I just pulled a random prediction out of my ass. Duh. Why do you think we're called analysts?"
And two of them are from an Uno deck.
The author of this piece, Daniel Lyons, should use the by line, "SCO Mouthpiece." He is the same hack who wrote the "Linux's Hit Men" article about the FSF plus there was another recent piece of SCO FUD that I've managed to flush out of my memory.
He is actually a nice guy once you get to know him. He just has a problem being impartial when it comes to Linux because... well, you see, a penguin once seduced him and then broke his heart. It's a sad story really.
Being bitter is drinking poison and hoping someone else will die
Well, a real lawyer would actually say "I am a lawyer, but the following should in no way be construed as actual legal advice. Laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction so applicable legislation may vary from the example in this post."
Thus, "IAALBTFSINWBCAALALVFJTKSALMVFTEITP".
I'm not a nerd. I'm just here for the free food.
I think it's highly unlikely that this market manipulation is SCO, Canopy, Microsoft, Sun or anyone else. It's probably just independant brokers who know a goldrush when they see one.
I don't know who/what it is, but it doesn't act independent. Watch the moment to momement bid/ask volume, etc. compared to a typical "goldrush." At the very least, whoever's keeping this turkey afloat has 1) quite a bit of money to thow away on the project, and 2) if there is more than one of them, they at least have each other's cell phone numbers or all read the flags on the same signal tower.
A goldrush acts like a swarm of flies; this acts more like a team of ants.
IMHO, of course.
-- MarkusQ.
Oh, you mean IABNMIHAL.
:-(
Ouch, some time ago I read the (old) thing where the letters that matter are the first and the last one, and the others can be mixed. I read a large paragraph that way. And now this? I inmediatly read:
Oh, you mean IAMHANIBAL.
unfinished: (adj.)
I want to see mcbride and his cronies being Bubba and HIS cronie's bitches.
:-)
Wait, maybe I don't want to SEE it, just know it's happeining...
IBM: Give us the specifics of your allegations.
SCO: You don't need to see the specifics of our allegations.
IBM: Give us the specifics of your allegations.
SCO: No fair, no fair! You waved your hand just like we did, we will sue, I tell you!
Slashdot and Groklaw: Nothing to see here, move along, move along....