Nintendo - Zelda Bonus Disc Hands-On, 2004 Releases Trailed

Thanks to Game Informer for their hands-on impressions of Legend Of Zelda: Collector's Edition, as the GameCube bundle/bonus compilation approaches release. The article describes "The first two old-school games [The Legend Of Zelda, Zelda II: The Adventure Of Link] look just as they did when they released way back in the day", and shows comparison screenshots for the N64 titles [The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask], for which "...the graphics are now in high-res." Elsewhere, 1UP has news on Nintendo release dates for 2004, as "The four-player GameCube Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles is still on track for February 9", and "will share that ... release date with Metroid: Zero Mission for Game Boy Advance... [which] expands on the original 8-bit Metroid adventure with revised levels, new story elements, and other added features."

Comments

Here's a first look

[Anonymous Coward]

at a first post!

~~~

tsarkon reports on a greased up yoda doll in ass..

[Anonymous Coward]

9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!

1. Defecate. preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage and hot sauces.
2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns.
3. Prime anus with anal ease.
4. Slather richly a considerable amount of vaseline or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your yoda doll or yoda soap on a rope and liberally apply it.
5. Pucker your ballon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in.
6. Put a nigger do-rag on yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
7. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because that is built in.
8. Slowly rest yourself onto your yoda figurine.
9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Read slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you dont check the (desired - speaks english) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black And Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you cant afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who arent fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a yoda voice and saying, feel the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes. When 900 years you reach, a dick half as big you will not have.

All in a days work with a yoda figurine rammed up your ass.
I HAVE A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS!
y______________________________YODA_ANUS
o_________________.'_:__`.________________y
d____________.-.'`.__;___.'`.-.___________o
a___________/_:____\_;__/____;_\__________d
s_,'__""--.:__;".-.";:_:".-.":__;.--""__`,a
e_:'_`.t""--.._'/@.`;___',@\`_..--""j.'_`;s
x______`:-.._J_'-.-'L___`--_'_L_..-;'_____e
________"-.___;__.-"__"-.__:___.-"________x
y____________L_'_/.------.\_'_J___________y
o_____________"-.___"--"___.-"____________o
d______________.l"-:_TR_;-";._____________d
a_________.-j/'.;__;""""__/_.'\"-.________a
s_______v.'_/:`._"-.:_____.-"_.';__`.v____s
e____.-"__/_;__"-._"-..-"_.-"__:____"-.___e
x_.+"-.__:_:______"-.__.-"______;-.____\__x
_v;_\__`.;_;____________________:_:_"+._;_
y_:__;___;_;____________________:_;__:_\:_y
o_;__:___;_:____________________;:___;__:_o
d:_\__;__:__;__________________:_;__/__::_d

Because of Yoda's attitude, I usually don't respond to his perversions, but this time I'll make an exception. For starters, the nicest thing that can be said about Yoda's lackeys is that they are goofy insurrectionists out to demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. Already, some piteous Neanderthals have begun to fund a vast web of uncontrollable vagabonds, combative slackers, and naive malodorous-types, and with terrifying and tragic results. What tracts will follow from their camp is anyone's guess. Think about that for a moment. Simply put, every morning Yoda asks himself, "How can I fool the masses today?" The law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior.

It is

Re:Why not sell it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Nintenblow played by NanoGator.

Cartridge INSERTED.

Joystick MANIPULATED.

GAME: RealDoll's Palace.