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So, HP, What Exactly Are You Trying To Sell Us?
billtom writes "There's an article over at c|net news where the normally fawning technology business press actually takes an HP VP to task for the extremely vague statements that usually surround enterprise software 'products.' With some gems like 'That could be boilerplate applying to any company,' and 'But again, how does that differ from what's been around?' and 'But hasn't that always been the goal?'" I'd like to see Charles Cooper interview whoever came up with .Net, too.
Reminds me of the classic joke:
Q: What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?
A: The used car salesman KNOWS when he's lieing to you!
Q: Stripped of all the jargon and market-speak, can you succinctly define what Adaptive Enterprise is supposed to be about?
A: We proudly adapt to the needs of our enterprise: namely, the CEO, the CIO, and our board members. Screw the rest of the employees and the customers. Aside from that, we really have no idea what the heck we're talking about. We need to make up big words in long sententces to justify our existence in the company. This is the same mindset that allowed us to have fantastic ideas like merging with Compaq, laying off thousands of employees, while giving Capellas the goodbye gift that one can only dream about.
Q: That could be boilerplate applying to any company. What's the special sauce?
A: The special sauce is no different than what you find in Burger King. We sit around all day long whacking off in an effort to come up with this sh--.
Q: Can't you get that by going to any reputable company out there? Sun, IBM--that's what they're about. Am I missing something here?
A: Nope. They're all the same formula. Same sauce. Right down to the last drop.