Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Introduces Competition For Google News
Romeo E. Cabrera writes "In advance of an imminent launch of its own search engine, Microsoft has launched its own version of the popular Google News service. Based initially on feeds from the Moreover news aggregation service, the new beta service (known as MSN Newsbot) aims to provide news on a range of subjects including World, Sports, Entertainment, Science and Technology."
suck'em long.
Love Turd Ferguson
Melon baller
Buy yourself a rock melon or honeydew melon. Cut a round hole in one end a bit smaller than your dick. Scoop out a little of the inside but not too much. Heat the melon in a microwave (be careful!) and squirt in some baby oil. If you've done it right you'll get a heap of suction when you fuck it. This method comes as close to the feeling of a real pussy or anus as you're ever likely to get! You'll start to get a hard-on whenever you walk past a fruit shop!
A little bonus to add to the honeydew/cantaloupe procedure: On the opposite side of the melon from where your penis enters it, make a small hole with a skewer or small knife, no bigger than a pencil eraser, but reaching all the way in to the "vagina." Wrap your hand around the melon after you insert your erection and put your finger over the hole on the outstroke. Remove your finger on the in-stroke, replace it over the hole on the outstroke. Feels like a mouth going down on your cock, then sucking on it as it draws back. A very nice substitute for a blow job!
Cucumber sleeve
Take a large cucumber and cut both ends off. Using a butter knife or spoon, remove all of the seeds and a little of the cucumber meat so you have a nice 'sleeve'. Adjust to fit the circumference of your penis. Heat the cucumber in the microwave for about 1 to 1.5 minutes. Touch the inside to make sure it's not too hot, it's easy to burn yourself.
Just stick your dick in and start pumping. Spin it around, pump up and down. The cucumber will stay warm for a loong time. It is a little messy though. This is the closest thing to real pussy I have ever felt. In fact, since it's really tight and wet, it feels better than some pussies I've had!
Feel glad
Take a plastic bag, (a little one but big enough to fit all of your cock into.) Get on your knees in front of a bed or couch, and put your cock in the bag, and stick it in between, the crack, of the bed or couch. Push down on top of the bed or couch and fuck the couch, a little lotion or something along those lines works well.
Water safety
Go get a pair of "water-wings" that little kids wear around their arms in the pool to help them float and swim. Blow one of them up as much as you can. (The more air, the tighter the feel.) Take some Vaseline and coat the inside and your cock. Place the "device" between the couch cushions and insert your cock and pump away.
"The Stranger"
Sit on your hand for like 30 minutes until your hand goes numb, then jerk off like a madman. This gives you the feeling that a stranger is doing it for you. You can also put your hand in cold water until it goes numb.
Soothes and conditions while you wank
First find a large aloe vera plant (the leaves need to be at least 4 inches across at the base). Cut a leaf off at the widest part of the base possible. Let it wilt a little so it is soft and flexible. Cut the spikes off (cut just the spikes, not all the skin along the edge). Warm the leaf slightly in the microwave. Cut a slit in the wide end of base (or cut some of the flesh out). Test the inside with your fingers to make sure it's not too hot. Then have at it -- no lube needed.
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Horror/Sci Fi writer Stephen King was found dead in his Maine home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.
When I checked the Newsbot the top two most popular articles were "Microsoft tests Web news service".
Yes, just my usual job, pouring oil on troubled waters ... then lightning a match.
The Independent: Reverend Spooner Arrested in Friar Tuck Incident - ISIHAC, Historical Headlines
I was walking in the parking lot this morning and I found an used rubber full of cum. I took it to your mom and she drank it for only $3. Sorry if this is a little off-topic, but I thought some /.ers might be interested in getting a good laugh for only $3. After that I raped her and took the $3 back.
I am raping your mother's corpse as you read this. I'l be leaving her dead, stinking asshole full of my cum. You can use Kazaa to download the video in a day or two.
I'm glad to see that Microsoft is diversifying. They are very slightly losing their grip on the crash prone operating system market, so it is a good idea to come up with innovative and novel services.
Why do I have this? I don't smoke.
Microsoft's software doesn't work for Jews?
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Subject says it all. You don't belong with us. Go away.
Oh, and i wouldn't consider myself a troll.. Just stating reality when it comes to business practice.. the only goal is to decimate your opponents... nothign less.
---- Booth was a patriot ----