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Finding the Perfect Family Game

Posted by michael on from the hungry-hungry-hippos dept.

kowalski1971 writes "Some poor soul with far too much time on his hands has decided - in an attempt to increase sales at his toyshop - to calculate the formula for the perfect family game. Apparently it is, 0.22a + 0.17f + 0.153n + (0.12c - 0.1g) + 0.1s + 0.09e + 0.06d + 0.054l + 0.05m + 0.011c = pfg ...and which game came out top? Cards. So much for the increased sales then."

28 of 201 comments (clear)

  1. Some poor soul with far too much time on his... by rhs98 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Some poor soul with far too much time on his hands has posted this article?

    --
    Is it a boat?
  2. Re:Aces! by chimpo13 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm pretty sure it's Vice City and Carmegeddon. It's nice watching my 5 year old kill cops with his grandfather.

    --
    riding round the world on an old motorcycle
  3. BCS by JeffSh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thankfully, his calculations are much LESS complicated than the formulae used to compute the bowl championship series rankings.

    Oddly enough, they are also more accurate, and I would be willing to bet that his formula could easily be converted over verbatim, applied to college football, and STILL come out with a better ranking system for college teams than the BCS.

    1. Re:BCS by satanami69 · · Score: 3, Funny

      PS. No one here knows what you are talking about. I do think that if they included a saving roll in the BCS formula, then the nerds here would help find the true NCAA champ.

      --
      I really hate Dan Patrick.
    2. Re:BCS by yoshi_mon · · Score: 3, Funny

      Meh, not totally true. The myth about geeks that don't know anything about sports has it's roots in fact but like many things is more that than anything else. Just a myth.

      Allthough I do agree with you about one thing. A 1d20 roll could only help the BCS at this point.

      --

      Really, I know what I'm doing...Ohhhh, look at the shiny buttons!
  4. Cards? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Given that his factors include:

    N = number of people
    S = stimulation
    E = engagement
    D = duration
    L = longevity

    I think we may at last have found the source of all those dastardly penis enlargement spams and viagra...

  5. Which game? by bersl2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    which card game are they talking about?

    Clearly, strip poker.

    1. Re:Which game? by DrEldarion · · Score: 1, Funny

      Fun for the whole family! We can even let grandma play!

    2. Re:Which game? by Senjutsu · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, the formula for Strip Poker is 0.50T, 0.50A.

  6. Since 2 Simpsons games were mentioned... by da3dAlus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Marge: Why don't you kids play one of your old board games? When was the last time you played "Citizenship"?
    Bart: [looking through games] "Energy Shortage"?
    Lisa: "Hippo in the House"?
    Marge: Ooh, "The Game of Lent"!
    Bart: Ohh, can't we just go to bed?
    Marge: It's only five-thirty.
    Lisa: Fine, we'll play "Hippo in the House".
    Marge: Oh, the hippo's missing.

    Ep: Wild Barts Can't Be Broken

    --

    Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
  7. Puff by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    0.22a + 0.17f + 0.153n + (0.12c - 0.1g) + 0.1s + 0.09e + 0.06d + 0.054l + 0.05m + 0.011c = Daikatana

    Yes, I am stressed and I can't let it go.

  8. The Slashdot reaction by An+Anonymous+Hero · · Score: 3, Funny


    http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/sbo0313l.jpg

  9. Sigh. When will we learn? by JonKatzIsAnIdiot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Human factors cannot be reduced to mathematical equations.

    (Sit down Hari Seldon)

    Attempting to do so only results in making you look stupid (like this guy)

    1. Re: Sigh. When will we learn? by Black+Parrot · · Score: 4, Funny


      > Heh. I tried to read the Foundation series, but unfortunately I'd already read enough about Lorenz and Mandelbrot to know that little errors don't just go away if you pick a bigger sample, and subsequently couldn't ignore the major flaw that is "psychohistory" and enjoy the books*.

      Heh, my calculations showed you were going to post that.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  10. If you do it just right... by inode_buddha · · Score: 5, Funny

    a good game of "Twister" will enable you to start your *own* family!

    --
    C|N>K
  11. The only reason "Cards" won... by Rune+Berge · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... is because they forgot the ever popular "Cardboard and plastic pieces" game.

  12. Simpler formula by Pedrito · · Score: 4, Funny

    Actually, the correct formula for the perfect game is:

    1 Swedish Bikini Team, sans bikinis + Me = The Perfect Game.

  13. mathematicians! Bah! by fermion · · Score: 5, Funny
    Math is wonderful. You can basically create formulas that may or may not have any basis in reality. This is why in addition to mathematician we have experimental physicists who whack the mathematician on the snout, take their formulations, and subject the equations to a rigorous dose of reality. Clearly someone needs to whack this guy on the snout.

    Cards and monopoly are great. The have no noise making annoyances, involve lots of manipulative that occupy the child, and rounds proceed quickly while occupying all players attention. More importantly, these games do minimum damage when the playing pieces enter the inevitable tantrum driven projectile phase.

    But Bop It? It is noisy, and hurts like hell when used as a club. Jenga? The point is to frustrate your opponents. This game is great at developing necessary skills, but when the pieces fall, the loser has a great desire to test the aerodynamics of the blocks.

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
    1. Re:mathematicians! Bah! by schon · · Score: 4, Funny

      Math is wonderful. You can basically create formulas that may or may not have any basis in reality. This is why in addition to in addition to mathematician we have experimental physicists who whack the mathematician on the snout

      Reminds me...

      A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all taken to a farm and asked to build the best fence - the fence had to encompass the largest amount of area, with the smallest perimeter.

      The engineer said - "That's easy - you make a circle!"

      The physicist said - "No, you have the fence section encompass the diameter of the earth, that way you get more area because of the third dimension."

      The mathematician ran over to a pile of fence sections, picked up three small ones and arranged them around himself to create a tiny enclosure - then said "I am on the outside!"

  14. Clue by nizo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Clue has to be the best game, since it teaches you the best household objects you can use to kill people, as well as helping young children to realize that you should never ask the police for help when solving a murder.

    --
    I Am My Own Worst Enemy
    1. Re:Clue by GigsVT · · Score: 3, Funny

      This just underscores what thousands of responsible parents have been demanding for years. We need a rating system for board games, so parents can make informed decisions about the games they let their children play. With new games like this "Clue" coming out every year, it's impossible for parents to keep up. Just the other day, I caught little Billy sneaking up behind me with a plumber's wrench.

      Won't anyone please think of the children!

      --
      I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
    2. Re:Clue by Zone5 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Just the other day, I caught little Billy sneaking up behind me with a plumber's wrench.

      See? It was a learning experience! Next time he'll know to use the candlestick, since it clanks less as you're trying to sneak up on someone. Who says games can't be educational?

      --
      "So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand it's bee backwash."
  15. Re:Play cards, play sci-fi by mental_telepathy · · Score: 2, Funny
    I'm not a nerd, but this doesn't sound even like news....

    It's the middle of the day, and you're posting your detailed analysis of what appears to be a tongue in cheek marketing ploy to a wesbite for nerds. Might be time for some deep introspection.

  16. Precautionary note on side of box says... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "For best results, do not begin game with original family"

    **Posted as AC to cleanse myself of that 'icky' feeling**

  17. Cards are great! by crazyhorse44 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sure beats the old-time family classic... "come sit on grandpa's lap"!

    --
    . SLASHDOT: Home of the vicious nerd.
  18. Drake Equation by Suit_N_Tie · · Score: 2, Funny

    That certainly doesn't look like the Drake Equation to me...

  19. Re: Why linear? by Black+Parrot · · Score: 2, Funny


    'Cause when you're playing games, you don't want squares spoiling the fun.

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  20. Re: Aces! by Black+Parrot · · Score: 3, Funny


    > There also exist games where the idea is to figure out the rules.

    The most popular being the immersion game called "real life".

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade