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The Future of Battlefield Robots

Posted by michael on from the flee-while-you-still-can dept.

Alien54 writes "The Pentagon is drafting the Segway two-wheeled scooter as part of a plan to develop battlefield robots that think on their own and communicate with troops. Dean Kamen, the Segway's inventor, says he had no qualms about enlisting his brainchild into the military."

9 of 237 comments (clear)

  1. Short Circuit by xirtam_work · · Score: 5, Funny

    Jonny Five is alive!

  2. Iron Giants! by Maestro4k · · Score: 5, Funny

    I find it particularly amusing that Cartoon Network just had/is having an Iron Giant marathon and this article shows up. :)

  3. MechWarrior by DigiShaman · · Score: 4, Funny

    I want the army to have battle mechs. Nuff said

    --
    Life is not for the lazy.
  4. Re:Brockman by October_30th · · Score: 4, Funny
    Just make sure the killbots have a preset kill limit...

    "Zapp: You see Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them. Until they reached their limit and shutdown. Kif. Show them the medal I won. [Kif sighs and points to a medal on Zapp's uniform.] Afterwards the Killbots were actually quite friendly. Right Corpse-A-Tron?"

    --
    The owls are not what they seem
  5. Obligatory Simpsons Quote by KeeperS · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots. Thank you."

  6. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 4, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  7. Fly on the wall... by heironymouscoward · · Score: 4, Funny

    The scene: a dim room in the Pentagon, two generals are sharing a bottle of malt with an admiral.

    "Just imagine: a robot army that can think for itself, stand upright, speak clear English..."

    "It sounds like a dream, but with those new scooters, it could happen."

    "At last, an Army we control..."

    "... no more drugs, booze,..."

    "... or sleep, even!"

    "There's the problem of terrain..."

    "Yes, those wheels don't work well in brush."

    "Maybe we can make them larger? Like HUGE?"

    "Self-balancing tanks? Sounds interesting..."

    "... and expensive. I like it."

    "... and then we can keep the scooters for backup"

    "You mean 'OPERATION NO DISSENT'?"

    "Most of our cities are 'wheelchair friendly' already"

    "Excellent. And we can just use the tanks in the others."

    "Bottle's empty. MAJOR! MORE MALT!"

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une signature
  8. What the HT really stands for by lo_fye · · Score: 4, Funny

    They say it's Human Transporter, but now we see that it was just a clever ruse all along... its true name is Segway Human Terminator.

    --
    geeks are cats who dig a certain kind of cool
  9. Re:one problem by ChickenAintDone · · Score: 4, Funny

    But how on earth will he heard his sheep without an assault rifle?