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What's Out There for Handheld Math?

Posted by Cliff on from the better-than-an-abacus dept.

PowerVegetable asks: "What's the story with handheld computation? Not address books and schedule reminders; I'm talking about the type of stuff computers were invented for. Anyone who's used Mathematica or Maple knows what desktop computers are capable of these days math-wise, but handheld computation seems to have fallen behind on the innovation front. Cell phones and handheld game systems have certainly enjoyed rapid advancement, so where are the handheld mathematical portable oracles? What's available that doesn't have obscure menu systems, bad displays, underpowered processors and unwieldy programming languages? Pickings are slim in the hard-coded calculator industry, but what about Pocket PC's or other programmable portables? Is there any portable solution out there that's more capable than my old HP49g?"

4 of 92 comments (clear)

  1. tsarkon reports ODE to a YODAN URN. Fuck You. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll
    9 steps to greasing your anus for Yoda Doll Insertion!
    v 3.95.0
    $YodaBSD: src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/yodanotes/9steppro cess.sgml,v 3.95.0 2003/12/01 13:25:25 tsarkon Exp $
    1. Defecate. Preferably after eating senna, ex lax, prunes, cabbage, pickled eggs, and Vietnamese chili garlic sauce. Defecation could be performed in the Return of the Jedi wastebasket for added pleasure.
    2. Wipe ass with witch hazel, soothes horrific burns. (Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda can use witch-hazel on mouth to soothe the horrific burns from performing so much analingus.)
    3. Prime anus with anal ease. (Now Cherry Flavored for those butthole lick-o-phillic amongst you - very popular with 99% of the Slashdotting public!)
    4. Slather richly a considerable amount of Vaseline and/or other anal lubricants into your rectum at least until the bend and also take your Yoda Doll , Yoda Shampoo bottle or Yoda soap-on-a-rope and liberally apply the lubricants to the Doll/Shampoo/Soap-on-a-rope.
    5. Pucker your balloon knot several times actuating the sphincter muscle in order to work it in.
    6. Put a nigger do-rag on Yoda's head so the ears don't stick out like daggers!
    7. Make sure to have a mechanism by which to fish Yoda out of your rectum, the soap on the rope is especially useful because the retrieval mechanism is built in.
    8. Slowly rest yourself onto your Yoda figurine. Be careful, he's big!
    9. Gyrate gleefully in your computer chair while your fat sexless geek nerd loser fat shit self enjoys the prostate massage you'll be getting. Think about snoodling with the Sarlaac pit. Read Slashdot. Masturbate to anime. Email one of the editors hoping they will honor you with a reply. Join several more dating services - this time, you don't check the (desired - speaks English) and (desired - literate). You figure you might get a chance then. Order some fucking crap from Think Geek. Get Linux to boot on a Black and Decker Appliance. Wish you could afford a new computer. Argue that IDE is better than SCSI because you can't afford SCSI. Make claims about how Linux rules. Compile a kernel on your 486SX. Claim to hate Windows but use it for Everquest. Admire Ghyslain's courage in making that wonderful star wars movie. Officially convert to the Jedi religion. Talk about how cool Mega Tokyo is. Try and make sure you do your regular 50 story submissions to Slashdot, all of which get rejected because people who aren't fatter than CowboyNeal can't submit. Fondle shrimpy penis while making a Yoda voice and saying, use the force, padawan, feeel the foooorce, hurgm. Yes. Yes. When 900 years you reach, a dick half as big you will not have.

    All in a days work with a Yoda figurine rammed up your ass.

    I HAVE A GREASED UP YODA DOLL SHOVED UP MY ASS!

    GO LINUX!!

    Tux is the result after trimming Yoda's ears off so that Lunix people don't rip themselves a new Asshole

    1. Re:tsarkon reports ODE to a YODAN URN. Fuck You. by maihadi · · Score: 0, Troll

      Ouch, should this really be something you post? Somebody should run a trace on you bud.

  2. Nigger do rag??!?!?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Classic.

  3. yoda let me hear about you and yaddle tsarkon by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    How is sex with yaddle? do you fuck her good?
    Tell me some stories about yaddle's pussy.
    I really want to know how yoda doll pumps yaddle's pussy hard and fingers her tri-pronged clitoris.
    Yeah,tell me some yoda yaddle stories green man, let the force fly against the wall.