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Congress Sends Anti-Spam Bill To White House
sunbird writes "At just after 5 o'clock EST, the House concurred to the Senate's amendments to the Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003 (or "CAN-SPAM") (bill in PDF format: here or here). Although the bill will prohibit certain tactics (such as hiding return addresses), critics state that the bill does not go far enough (see this press release). The bill will provide criminal penalties for violations of its provisions (up to five years behind bars), but will not allow private parties to sue spammers. News reports indicate (SF Gate or Forbes) that Bush intends to sign the bill. Prior Slashdot articles are here: 1 2 3."
I think it is safe to say that most men consider the perfect finale to fellatio to be climaxing into/onto a beautiful girl's face. Is it possible to separate the more immediate and simpler pleasure of the underlying ejaculation from the more complex sensual and aesthetic properties of the facial cumshot ?
Authorities are strangely silent on the question. One might expect that Alphonse Donatien de Sade, D.H. Lawrence, or Henry Miller would have covered the topic, but this writer is unaware of any such treatment in their works. Far be it for me to trod in their footsteps, but I shall attempt in this modest essay to shed some light on the problem.
I think any such investigation has to begin with acknowledging the relative rarity, or infrequency of the male orgasm. While a female, whose orgasm, after all, is biologically meaningless, can easily reach orgasm 20 or 30 times a day, most health/medical professionals and porn film directors recognize that one or two major or substantive ejaculations per day is about the limit for the average healthy male. Thus the male tends to place a higher value on his orgasm and since his ejaculate is the primary visual and tactile evidence of same, it's only natural that he attaches a great importance to it.
In fact it can be argued that for many men, the visual confirmation of orgasm becomes fused in the psyche with the orgasm itself. Both Jung and Adler have explored several examples of such fusion between physical sensations and their visual confirmation, but again, this author is unaware of any explicit treatment of ejaculation. Of course this visual confirmation is not limited to an attractive girl's Max Factored and Maybellined visage splashed with jissem; after all a guy can come on her belly or ass, sometimes to positive aesthetic effect, but if we accept fellatio as the ultimate treat for the male, then perhaps it stands to reason that the facial cumshot is the logically perfect conclusion.
One of the many appealing aspects of facial cumshots is their uniqueness - like snowflakes, each one is different. Even similar cumshots display subtle variations - here a particularly heavy strand of jissem is hanging delicately from a girls bangs, there a beautiful pair of lips is pouting with an enticing frosted covering. This of course leads the male on an endless quest for the perfect" cumshot - he is guaranteed to spend the rest of his life looking for it. The adult film industry really should be doing a better job in this endless quest. I mean, they are in a perfect situation - able to use some of the most beautiful women in the world, lots of cheap male actors, the directorial power to ensure that the end of every sex scene is a facial cumshot - why are there so many lame, uninspired facial cumshots out there ? Some of the guys look like they're on the fourth of fifth wad of the day. I propose an industry standard of 30 to 40 cc of ejaculate per cumshot. It should be simple to get across to the male actors - a higher rate of pay for substantial wads, and NO pay for watery, minuscule offerings. It's time for America to take the lead in this regard. Will any of our spineless politicians take action ?
The American medical establishment could lend its support here too. Surely there must be drugs/dietary aids that yield heavier amounts of ejaculate. Proposed name for sample drug: Mojiztrol. It would be nice if the average guy could fill up a Dixie cup with thick hot cum by taking a safe, easy to use prescription once or twice a day. Then when he finally gets a date with that hot new secretary at work, and she's going down on him and looks up at him and purrs "Cum in my face baby" he KNOWS he's not going to leave her disappointed. But alas, our medical research facilities waste time and money on boring shit like heart disease and AIDS.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
Does this turn you on?
...is a faggot
You needed another reason? Give it a week and you'll have ten more dead soldiers, all from poor families, and ten more reasons to not vote for that Miserable Failure!
You might be confusing UTC with GMT; They're radically different.
You could just look over to your e-mail inbox and revel in the pile of offers for making said penis even bigger, or making it even more warm and tingly by viewing photos of naked celebs, or keeping it stiff by buying giant mountains of 100% natural herbal viagra-like products.
Of course, you'll need some way to purchase all those things, so you probably ought to take up that nice Nigerian gentleman on his offer to pay you 10% of the 50 million US dollars he wants to transfer into your bank account.
p
In Korea, long hair is for old people!
I would like to thank you for your contribution to this difficult issue. Your refreshingly honest observations, and candid, even blunt, discussion due you credit.
:) (j/k)
I can only begin to image the struggle within you as you try to come to grips with the seemingly mutually exclusive desires to avoid being an ass-clown who people want to see bleeding in a gutter, and avoid starving or freezing to death (possibly in a gutter while bleeding).
I would like to do what I can to remove some of your burden. To this end, I would ask your work address so I might send you a book that helped me through some tough times. "Deep Thoughts: My Journey Into The Wilderness Within" by Theodore Kaczynski.
I love this book! Regaurdless of what reasonable people might think of the man, I'm sure this could help you, and those with whom you share it with, see the light. I can promise that after opening this tome of wisdom you'll find his clear meditations ringing in your ears changing your life in ways you couldn't have imagined only minutes earlier. In fact, when it arrives, you may wish to gather your co-workers around for the unvieling, they'll be blown away too. Something this good just demands to be shared.
Take me up on my friendly offer. You won't regret it for a second.
What a stupid post. There were never any civil liberties in Iraq to suspend.