Slashdot Mirror
Funny Things You've Seen on Resumes?
noackjr asks: "Everyone wants a great job, but writing a quality resume requires creativity and a fair bit of work (we won't go into actually having the proper skills, qualifications, or experiences -- let's not cloud the issue). Alternatively, sprucing up your resume with a few choice pieces of quasi-truth might set you apart from other 'qualified' candidates (the HR person will never figure it out, right?). A friend from college included knowledge of 'C, C+, and C++' on his resume. He had worked in C and C++ and just figured there had to be a C+ as well (too bad he didn't list C+-). He ended up getting a $50,000+/yr job with a major US tech firm using that resume. Anyone else come across funny/pathetic attempts to improve a resume?"
How is that world domination thing going?
Usually in the extra skills/info section I like to add a little blurb about how I like to play around with writing Operating Systems. It's one of the few things in todays world that instantly lets people know that I'm really a computer geek and not just a normal person working in IT. It was probably what got me the interview for my current job.
My Hello World is 512 bytes. But it's also a valid Fat12 boot sector, Fat12 file reader, and Pmode routine.
Someone I know very well listed the specialized language used by the tech company they applied to on their CV even though they only had passing knowledge of it. Upon being granted an offer they immediately asked for a start date months/weeks in the future (can't remember exact time span). They spent this entire time building credible expertise in the language.
I wonder how often this happens. I was surprised to learn the company didn't ask specific questions to test knowledge of the language, but I guess your average HR person omits this test.
The funny thing about that, is that it possibly did help him get the job. In a big corporation like Motorola, the resumes are scanned and then HR searches for keywords. Your friend managed to get in one extra hit for "C" in the programming section, and quite possibly came out on top of the search.
...
Umm, you're 100% wrong.
You bolded "language" - but the OP wasn't saying HTML isn't a language, he's saying it's not a programming language - and he's exactly right.
Exactly - XML isn't a programming language either. It's still just markup. Things start getting a little murkier with XSL, since XSL does have very programmatic structures like loops, (immutable) variable, and templates that can be vaguely analogous to functions.
No one is claiming PHP isn't a programming language because it's not compiled. Perl isn't compiled either (well, not the way you think), but you'd have to be smoking some powerful weed to think it's not a programming language.
A programming language needs data structures. It needs instructions and control flow. HTML has none of that.
Spoken like a true HTML "programmer"...
I know it hurts to hear that all the HTML coding you do doesn't make you a programmer - but get over it. Actually now that I think about it, you probably do some javascript too in your job duties and that DOES count as a programming language, so you can call yourself a programmer after all! Hurray for Kethinov the programmer!!
It's a pretty cool field. I took some classes on it while in college. It's a good field for CS people who have some interest in electronics but don't particularly enjoy all the nitty-gritty details of EE.
Absolutely true.
...and I say this as a foolishly steadfast person who refuses to put anything on his resume that he can't back up 100%. If I say I can do, then, dammit, I can do it.
A resume isn't a resume any more, it's a list of keywords for some recruiter to search on. He doesn't know what the words means, he's just looking for matches.
It's not your father's job market out there. Employees are commodities, on about the same level as office furniture, except the office furniture gets to stick around longer. You are not a person with a unique set of skills, but rather a list of keywords that may or may not have any bearing on your skill set, or even worse, the intangible benefits of a well-rounded education.
What employers seem to want today is an idiot savant. Someone with superior skill in whatever particular item they are interested in (or think they are interested in), and they don't give a damn about anything else.
I know from experience that "thinking out of the box" may be an overused and supposedly virtuous cliche term, but most managers wouldn't know how to do it and would be frightened or angry if their employees actually did.
I just survived 5 months at a place where, based on my resume and interview (I'm a Windows C++ programmer with 16 years professional programming experience), they couldn't hire me fast enough, but insisted I work like an entry-level person. If an entry-level programmer couldn't walk in on what I was doing at any time and immediately understand it, they didn't want to see it. I probably pee'd a few people off when I suggested that the 4-programmer team I was on could easily be replaced by one programmer and a couple of QA people at about half the cost, and then explained how. But of course, this is government work, you aren't paid the most for getting the job done quickly, you are paid the most for billing the most hours before the deadline.
Sorry, but I'm just a bit cynical about it all these days.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.