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Head Of ATF To Direct RIAA Anti-Piracy
plasmastate writes "Via Fox News: Bradley A. Buckles, the director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, is moving over to the RIAA to hunt down music pirates. And visions of David Koresh danced in their heads..."
Seems somewhat appropriate.
.. look at the bright side, while his jackboots are busy stomping out piracy, the world will again be safe for boozers, smokers and gun collectors.
Trolling is a art,
Buckles' retirement is effective Jan. 3. No replacement was immediately named.
I heard they have Himmler on ice. I think he'd feel right at home.
What's wrong with reporting illegal software use? I noticed several employees running suspicious software on their PC's, which did NOT look like "Approved Microsoft Windows(tm) Technology" that I use. The Start button was replaced with a barefoot, for example! I called up the BSA and now several of my coworkers are no longer working here.
There is a representative from Microsoft coming next Tuesday to make sure all of those boxes have the illicit software reinstalled with appropriate Microsoft American-Made technology.
I'd just as soon report YOU, too, as look at you. Fucking thieves.
ATF - Wonderful - weren't the first shots fired at the Koresh compound fired by an ATF agent shooting himself in the thigh?
Judging by the reports that I have read, we can expect the following healines soon.
ATF RAIDS HOME
(ATF press release) In an effort to stamp out musical piracy, which leads to terrorism - the ATF today raided the home of Amanda Johnson (age 12) and her brother brad (age 9). Both pirates were taken down. One of the pirates was shot in the raid when he attacked the ATF agents with a fluid projectile weapon. The ATF agent is expected to make a full recovery, while the pirate is listed in stable but critical condition.
"We're just trying to protect our American way of life", said Butch Howitzer. "These pirates are destroying the ability of the RIAA to run a good monopoly, besides, if this piracy thing gets out of hand we might actually have to pay artists. Ticketmaster and the record label executives can't afford this. Lets be honest, the money these pirates steal prevents a record executive from getting the thereapy they need every day."
AngryPeopleRule
"Science is about ego as much as it is about discovery and truth " - I said it, so sue me.
it WOULD bring new meaning to "burning CDs"....
It turns out that Bradley A. Buckles wasn't their first choice, but Hannibal Lectur wasn't available.
Kind thoughts do not change the world
sweetheart, why is there a fucking M1 Abrams on the front lawn?
PC moderators can suck my White pierced, tattooed dick. If you think pride == hate, s/dick/Aryan meat mallet/g.
Already been done. By the British against the American rebels. These fighters were known as Hessians.
C:\>
I always thought it was strange to have a federal agency dedicated to alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. Other than being a part of any good camping trip, what do these three items have in common?
I told you THIS was coming a long time ago!
Now, driving while chewing tabacco, sipping on a pint jack, listening to pirated Billy Ray Cyprus and shooting at the occasional road sign will all be covered under the same agency.
NEWS: MAE-West, one of the nation's key switching facilities for Internet connectivity, was completely destroyed by 500 pounds of Energel explosive after confirmation of a rumor that one of the routers in there was being used to send MP3 files to the dreaded user@KaZaA
"I believe that we have stopped to illegal tranfer of copyrighted materials in the most effective and timely manner possible", stated Bradley A. Buckles, head of the Anti-Piracy Unit of the Recording Industry Association of America and former director of the ATF.
"It is truly unfortunate that half of the US now has to go on without internet access just because of the actions of a few unscrupulous file traders" Buckles continues, "File swapping really does hurt everyone."
MAE-West was one of two major network traffic exchange points in the United States. The other, MAE-East, is in Vienna, Virginia.
When asked about MAE-East, Buckles said, "We'll blow that up too, if it turns out that kazaaliteuser@KaZaA is using that for illegal file sharing."
The RIAA now is pleased to announce in partnership with AT&T and PG&E the formal unveiling of "MediaNet". MediaNet is a network that connects your electrical system with the sewer system to form a massive computer network that can be billed per election transferred. Additionally, packet headers are decoded to determine to origin of traffic and impose any and all necessary foreign and domestic tarrifs and taxes.
We will be installing new meters alongside the ones you already have and you will be billed automatically for the webpages you access. MP3 ID3 tags are automatically read and you will be charged "fair market value" for any files transferred. When copyrighted images or sound clips load, users will also be charged "fair market value" for a single use right to view and hear them.
We believe that MediaNet will be a great success and will provide millions of homes and businesses with a valuable metered internet lifeline.
MediaNet service is a mandatory addition to your current utilities. Basic use fees will start at $50/month*
* Basic use fees do not include state data tax, universal MediaNet tax, interstate data transfer surcharge, or billing meter rental fees.
Remember folks, a self-built wooden shack does not make a good server room. (Federal motto: walk softly and carry a big flamethrower.)