Slashdot Mirror
Legal Recourse Against Spammers You May Know?
xrepete asks: "I have been getting spammed by a legitimate company for the last five months. I have gone to their site to ask to be removed, and sent several e-mails to various address asking to be removed from their mailing list. I have been totally ignored. We all get spam from individuals we can't identify, but what recourse do we have if we actually _can_ identify them. I've heard that it is illegal for a company to not allow you to opt-out of marketing spam, but I can find any information about how to go about it." This was last touched on over three years ago, but recent events have shown that the new spam laws may have better teeth. Are there other things we can do to curb the e-mail abuses of the companies we do business with?
say it together, happilee..... (first spam).
Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
Oompa Loompa doompadee dum
CmdrTaco and Hemos like to drink cum
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are a GNU/Faggot you will listen to me
Who do you blame when you're covered in scat
Out with transexual hookers, high on smack?
Blaming the trolls is a lion of shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
CmdrTaco, Hemos, and their undeserved fame!
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
If you're not using Linux then you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do!
What do you get when you guzzle down cum
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at, getting CowboyNeal fat
What do you think will come of that?
I don't like the look of it
Cock chewing's fine when it's once in a while
It stops you from masturbating and brightens your smile
But it's repulsive, revolting and wrong
Chewing and chewing all day long
The way that Rob Malda does
Who do you blame when your kid is a fag
Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat
Blaming the fags is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame
CmdrTaco and Hemos
What do you get from a glut of Cock?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply fucking a girl
Or could you just not bear to look
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no HIV!
Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not gay, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do
Doompety do
Join us now and share the goat sex;
You'll be free, GNU/Faggots, you'll be free.
Hoarders may get piles of cum and disease,
That is true, GNU/Faggots, that is true.
But they cannot help their HIV infected neighbors;
That's not good, GNU/Faggots, that's not good.
When we have enough free goat sex
At our call, GNU/Faggots, at our call,
We'll throw out those dirty used condoms,
Ever more, GNU/Faggots, ever more.
Join us now and share the gost sex;
You'll be free, GNU/Faggots, you'll be free.
I just had to let you all know at least one more time.
You all Slashdot fags have a giant bleeding brain hematoma you fucking cuntcaskets!
You fucking all possess Milo's GREAT Staff of Stupidity; INT -25; Forged when the world was young, when man and bird and beast were one, and death was but a dream! There in this before time stands the hoards of BOOTLICKING SHEEPLE and some Mac faggots!
You are all weird, cuntcaskety miasma of festering caramelized dog shit mediocritomatons; In that what is supposed to be your grey matter in that quagmire cesspool you have going in that vacuous cavern that is your skull.
You Slashdotting fags are all corpulent, zit ridden, unemployed, living at home, loser, sexless, lord of the rings trekker star wars fuckers, and dumb stupid fucking cunts with no TECHNICAL ACUMEN whatsoever.
I will usher in a new PAX ROMANA here on Fuckdot. Fucktards! Fucktardions! FUCKERFACES! HAHAHAHHAHAHAA. You fucking pukes make me feel the urge to defecate. All you fucking poor cheap shylock shyster assholes who use faggot hardware make me sick. You get no FUCKING POONANI and you walk around here eructating bullshit! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Hahahahaha!
You fucking queef licking butt trumpet fags, get YOUR OWN FUCKING MEOW MEOW SNATCH. Put your fucking hands where I can see them, I know why you fucking losers put saran wrap on your keyboards!
Fuck all you.
The Internet Fart Chair is a chair with a cushion composed of a porous material, and it generally belongs to an internet enthusiast. When the Internet buff is too engrossed in web surfing, he often cannot bother to lift his butt out of the chair, and his farts become trapped in the porous cushion. Anyone who sits in an Internet Fart Chair can smell the farts of the owner as the pressure releases the entombed gasses. Worse than that, however, the Fart Chair releases gasses in a slow process as well, leaving a slight smell of farts in the air for many days after the last fart has been forced into the foam.
But why worry about Fart Chair? Once the user gets accustomed to the smell of his own farts, the aroma can become quite pleasurable and even evoke a sense of pride and accomplishment. The answer is quite simple. Internet enthusiasts -- let's be frank -- will often need as much on their side as possible if they are to ever have success with the opposite sex. One of the best ways to improve your chances of closing a deal with a fair maiden is to eliminate Fart Chair, or, better yet, make sure you never get Fart Chair in the first place. After all, when you first get her back to your hovel, the first thing she will notice is the smell of your Fart Chair. You might think this is no problem, but remember: If this is your crucial first time having her over, SHE HAS NOT HAD TIME TO ADJUST TO YOUR FARTS YET!
The best way to make sure Fart Chair never happens is to use a chair with a plastic, vinyl, or wooden seat. The only way to contaminate these is to sit in them naked and fart when you have an intestinal virus. Even then, a quick swipe with some windex and a rag should eliminate the smell and solids easily. But what if you like to have a soft cushion covered with comforting cloth material under you? How can you avoid Fart Chair? You will not get Fart Chair if you simply follow this simple instruction: LIFT YOUR BUTT OUT OF THE CHAIR BEFORE FARTING AND LEAVE IT ALOFT FOR 30 SECONDS. This can be remembered by memorizing the simple phrase, "LIFT, BREAK, AND WAIT." There are some obvious obstacles to carrying out this plan, not the least of which is that if you eat a lot of fart-producing foods, you will get tired of lifting, holding, then sitting down again. Consider eating less gasseous foods.
You're doing great! I'm proud of your progress. But what if you already have Internet Fart Chair? You have probably already tried bouncing on it, beating it, sweeping it, but nothing worked. Internet Fart Chair can be a daunting enemy. There is one way, however, to beat Fart Chair decisively. Use a vacuum cleaner with the hose attached, but with no attachment on the end. Press the hose end repeatedly into the cushion, compressing the porous material, and repeat over the entire surface of the cushion. The farts will be quickly and efficiently sucked from the cushion! No more embarassing rejection by the girl of your dreams! You will have plenty of time to get her used to the smell of your farts later, but for now, it is best to stay on the safe side. Happy surfing!
the Bourgeoisophobes
Why the Europeans and Arabs, each in their own way, hate America and Israel.
AROUND 1830, a group of French artists and intellectuals looked around and noticed that people who were their spiritual inferiors were running the world. Suddenly a large crowd of merchants, managers, and traders were making lots of money, living in the big houses, and holding the key posts. They had none of the high style of the aristocracy, or even the earthy integrity of the peasants. Instead, they were gross. They were vulgar materialists, shallow conformists, and self-absorbed philistines, who half the time failed even to acknowledge their moral and spiritual inferiority to the artists and intellectuals. What's more, it was their very mediocrity that accounted for their success. Through some screw-up in the great scheme of the universe, their narrow-minded greed had brought them vast wealth, unstoppable power, and growing social prestige.
Naturally, the artists and intellectuals were outraged. Hatred of the bourgeoisie became the official emotion of the French intelligentsia. Stendhal said traders and merchants made him want to "weep and vomit at the same time." Flaubert thought they were "plodding and avaricious." Hatred of the bourgeoisie, he wrote, "is the beginning of all virtue." He signed his letters "Bourgeoisophobus" to show how much he despised "stupid grocers and their ilk."
Of all the great creeds of the 19th century, pretty much the only one still thriving is this one, bourgeoisophobia. Marxism is dead. Freudianism is dead. Social Darwinism is dead, along with all those theories about racial purity that grew up around it. But the emotions and reactions that Flaubert, Stendhal, and all the others articulated in the 1830s are still with us, bigger than ever. In fact, bourgeoisophobia, which has flowered variously and spread to places as diverse as Baghdad, Ramallah, and Beijing, is the major reactionary creed of our age.
This is because today, in much of the world's eyes, two peoples--the Americans and the Jews--have emerged as the great exemplars of undeserved success. Americans and Israelis, in this view, are the money-mad molochs of the earth, the vulgarizers of morals, corrupters of culture, and proselytizers of idolatrous values. These two nations, it is said, practice conquest capitalism, overrunning poorer nations and exploiting weaker neighbors in their endless desire for more and more. These two peoples, the Americans and the Jews, in the view of the bourgeoisophobes, thrive precisely because they are spiritually stunted. It is their obliviousness to the holy things in life, their feverish energy, their injustice, their shallow pursuit of power and gain, that allow them to build fortunes, construct weapons, and play the role of hyperpower.
And so just as the French intellectuals of the 1830s rose up to despise the traders and bankers, certain people today rise up to shock, humiliate, and dream of destroying America and Israel. Today's bourgeoisophobes burn with the same sense of unjust inferiority. They experience the same humiliation because there is nothing they can do to thwart the growing might of their enemies. They rage and rage. Only today's bourgeoisophobes are not just artists and intellectuals. They are as likely to be terrorists and suicide bombers. They teach in madrassas, where they are careful not to instruct their students in the sort of practical knowledge that dominates bourgeois schools. They are Muslim clerics who incite hatred and violence. They are erudite Europeans who burn with humiliation because they know, deep down, that both America and Israel possess a vitality and heroism that their nations once had but no longer do.
Today the battle lines are forming. The dispute over Palestine, which was once a local conflict about land, has been transformed into a great cultural showdown. The vast array of bourgeoisophobes--Yasser Arafat's guerrilla socialists, Hamas's Islamic fundamentalists, Jose Bove's anti-globalist leftists, America's a
What you missed was learning that you should want to fuck a woman. Not masturbate to anime characters and scantily clad women who bore visage in your mind from your warped imagination and a AD&D piece of paper. Fuck off and play EQ and mentally fornicate with your JUBEI.
I personally "WHASNT" [to gratuitously use a spurious H] playing D&D at that time. I was socializing with people, having fun, etc. You were draped masturbating and circle jerking with other fucking loon tunes.
You fucking techno-tard. Slashdot jumped the shark so bad, a sarlaac breeding pit for zit cased black hat wannabe human detritus.
Fuck George Lucas.
MR BILLY EGO.
Tel/Fax: +234-1-4400644.
E-mail:billyego12@fsmail.net
ATTN: CEO,
I am Mr. BILLY EGO, Manager Special Deposits Accounts Dept., Union Bank Plc.here in Nigeria. I got your contact address from the European Directory (EURO PAGES), which I brought in Amsterdam while on holidays.
I have decided to contact you purely on the personal conviction of trust and confidence that we can co-operate with one another and do a very lucrative business for our mutual benefit. The Business I am proposing to you is in respect of the sum of US$12,150,000.00 (Twelve Million One Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars Only) deposited in three separate special deposits accounts with my bank which belonged to Mr. Warren Duane who died three years ago in an air crash during a charter flight from Port Harcourt to Lagos. Mr. Warren Duane was an engineer and was into Consultancy services and Servicing and maintenance of Oil Drilling Equipment for the major Oil Companies in Nigeria.
My bank has made several efforts at contacting the family of Duane or his relatives, but all have proved abortive, as he had no identifiable Wife or Children. This sum of US$12.1M has remained unclaimed ever since then and nobody has come forward as his next of kin. The Management of my bank is contemplating to donate the money to the Trust Fund of WEST AFRICAN PEACE KEEPING FORCE (ECOMOG) for arms and Ammunitions that will further escalate the course of senseless wars and ethnic killings in West African Sub-region and the world at large, which we consider as genocide.
It is against the background of the foregoing, that myself and two of my colleagues in the bank have decided to contact you for assistance and partnership, for you to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Duane. With your permission this fund will be transferred to your private account abroad as the beneficiary and next of kin to Mr. Duane. All proof of claim and necessary documentation will be carefully worked out in your favour and we assure you of 100% risk free involvement and protection.
Consequently, if you find this proposal acceptable to you and you wish to assist us, I expect your urgent response and upon receipt of that, we shall discuss and agree on the disbursement and sharing ratio. Let me therefore expect your very urgent response through my above phone, fax or e-mail addresses. Please endeavor to include your private phone and fax number and also your private e-mail where available. Please keep this proposal very secret and confidential. Thank you and best regards as I await your urgent response.
MR BILLY EGO.
/. is becoming as bad as Suck500.com. Offtopic I know, but reading these comments I had to say SOMETHING.
By the way, I highly recommend against following that link.
WINDOWS!? We don't need no steenkin' Windows!