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Happy Birthday, Von Neumann (And Linus!)
noims writes "Sunday is the one hundredth anniversary of the birth of John Von Neumann, the man with one of the strongest claims to the title of Father of Modern Computing. Although, as noted at the time by Mark Stanley of Freefall, several sources indicate that it may have been December 3rd." Update: 12/28 01:07 GMT by T : deja206 writes "Today (December 28, CET) also is Linus Torvalds' 34th birthday. Now we probably wouldn't be here talking about all this stuff if it weren't for him. Thank you for Linux, happy birthday!"
Modren Computing
He surely didn't invent the spellchecker!
I AM!!!!
*gasp*
(cue cheesy soap opera music)
Yes that's right.. 67 years ago, I was at a party. John was there with his wife, Mechanical Computing. She wasn't the youngest girl in the room, but damned if she wasn't the HOTTEST. Round perfect hips, pert hand-sized breasts, and beautiful curly paper-tape for hair.
I'd been admiring her from afar.. but my close friendship with John meant I would never get to act on my impulses. Oh sure, I bought a new adding machine every year, even though I hardly ever used the infernal contraptions. I did it for HER.
When our eyes met, I knew she felt the same about me. And she understood that restraint was the only appropriate action.
But tonight John was being even more obnoxious than usual. Get a few glasses of champagne in the man he wouldn't shut about "uncertainty in the Game Theory" and "Axiomatizations of Expected Utility" and "if Morgenstern where here, he'd f*cking KICK your ASS, 101% probability!"
Mecha was crying again. She hated it when he was like this. Finally he passed out in the bathroom, a paper by Nash folded into a triangle on his head.
I had to do something. I put my arm around her. We were alone in a bedroom, her husband passed out just two doors down.
We made love for hours. The non-protected kind of love.
Well, nature took it's course, and 9 months later, she had a cute little boy with vacuum tubes for ears. She named him: Modern Computing. Sure, people talked.. "we didn't know John has an electronic streak.. it must come from his grandpa"...
But we knew what happened. By then John had started a program to control his drinking, and he and Mecha where very happy together. That night we had gotten our lust out of our system, and Mecha and I didn't speak to each other much.
So that's how I became the father of Modern Computing.
But the strongest case of all is from Al Gore.
Linux - Because Mommy taught me to Share.
the mailman on "Von Sienfeld"?
What?
Yes. If it wasent for Linus, we wouldnt be talking about Linus.
You'll have to pick another date :)
(feliz cumpleanos a ti)
There exists no way of exchanging information without making judgments. --Bene Gesserit Axiom
"Now we probably wouldn't be here talking about all this stuff if it weren't for him"
This comment is spot on - had Linus not been born we would likely NEVER have discussed his birthday.
Isn't Von Neuman the fat, annoying neighbor of Seinfeld?
I have no problem with your religion until you decide it's reason to deprive others of the truth.