Slashdot Mirror
Downsides to Intrafamily IM?
Frisky070802 writes "The NY Times has run a column on how many families now use instant messaging within a household, for instance to ask what someone wants for dinner. This is especially popular as whole houses get wired (or wireless) and computers are scattered throughout the house. This is the case at my house but I tend to be the only one who stays on AIM reliably. Can Slashdotters offer some personal experience, pro/con, with being instantly and constantly accessible to one's spouse and children? Does this tend to break down your 'personal time'?"
Everyone in my family uses AIM to communicate around the house. There aren't really any cons to it aside from the fact that it tends to make you lazier and you lose the exercise of having to get up and walk to the person you want to talk to.
This is ridiculous. Just physically walk into the room they are in and ask them "What do you want for dinner?" Are people becoming so lazy and scared of others (including family) that they can only communicate via IM, cell phones, email...ect.
Trust me the small walk from room to room, will not affect your pear like body shape.
I'm AIM'ing my brother right now from my laptop. Its actually really nice, since if you see a cool website, you can just send a link, instead of running upstairs and showing it to him on his computer.
What IM is really useful for, however, is keeping in touch with people long-distance. IM has a relaxed, conversational quality that you can't get from a phone call. With the phone, there is pressure to finish the call quickly, and it is something that you do on special occasions. With IM, you can just say hi, or share a random funny thought, without wasting anyone's time.
A deep unwavering belief is a sure sign you're missing something...
you obviously don't have a baby. when you are in bed with sleeping baby next to you on the wireless laptop and wife is working in the home office, IM is a godsend.
screaming=kid wakes up = your 20 minutes of private time today is over!
DO NOT DISTURB THE SE
I've just been reading the past 30+ comments, and no one seems to think that this is a problem!!
Sure, for the teen geeks out there who like a lil privacy (I don't mean like thaT.. well, maybe I guess I do) this is OK for. But for a family to be a family this sure does pose major problems?
A poster a few messages up claimed his wife and him have nothing to talk about when they get home after talking all day. What about for the parent and child who would rather IM while around the house. Doesn't prolonged exposure to this make the child more unwilling to talk to his/her parent face-to-face about sex/drugs/abuse??
I know I tried my damnedest to remain an reclusive troll around my house, but thankfully my parents were active in my life and always asked questions. Hindsight being what it is, I'm glad we came to a good balance between privacy and parenting! That sort of thing requires you to LOOK at your parents and FACE your problems/fears.. not hitting "Block" or "Exit".
I know I have a point here, and I'm trying to find it.
When modding "Informative", please make sure it both has a source and IS actually informative.
Maybe you should step away from the IM for a bit, and are you sure she feels the same way about it that you do? Women are quite a bit less inclined to want to communicate through a device. They crave one on one personal interaction and I dont think going thru IM counts. Maybe you have a exception there, but I bet she misses curling up on the couch with you and talking about things. When you get home and there's nothing left to talk about, I think it says you're spending too much time connected to each other. Smothering your wife is just as bad as ignoring her, I think. The trick is balancing everything. Why dont you ask her tonight straight up if she misses those days where you would sit down and catch up with each other? Bet she will surprise you.
so families are using a new communication tool to, um, communicate, and people are asking if this is reducing communication within families?
is im or email or irc or phone or letter or videophone or telegraph the same as talking face to face? no, they're all different. and none are best, certain circumstances lend themselves better to certain methods. some people find letters a better method of telling family members bad news. i like people to email me info like addresses, phone numbers or email addresses. irc is a nice supplement to conference calls as it lets taking minutes be distributed.
but i supposed change always sees this. "oh no, it's different, it must be BAAAAD!"
whatever.
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Then don't read the article.
karma karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go, you come and go.
I asked my daughter why she preferred IM to the old teenage standby -- hours on the phone. The answer surprised me. She could see who was online.
From her perspective it solved two problems
1. You knew in advance who was available to talk (lowered chance of rejection).
2. It avoided the unpleasant experience of having to mediate access through a parent ("he's not in", "he can't come to the phone", "he's been grounded and can't talk"). This is actually a variant of #1.
So it's all about saving face and managing rejection. IM provides lots of strategies and aids to do just that.
Given that it solves or mitigates two teenage problems (potential rejection by absence or parent, and parental control), I predict the first cellphone company to implement a usable buddy list wins.
My spouse and I share an office. We sit across from each other. We can each look to the left of our monitors and see the other's face -- no yelling required (especially after putting the Athlon with jet-engine-like fan in the next room; door shut).
We still IM each other, every day. Why? Because we read a lot of web information and it's just so convenient to post a link to the other about our findings.
Or when a family member IMs one of us, it's easy to just copy the Jabber log out of gaim and paste it into the other's message window and share a conversation.
Or when a client IMs one of us, we can let the other in on the question or panic-stricken demand for help and colaborate on a course of action.
That's why!
The only problem I see with this sudden increase in instant communication is the eventual rise of linguistic entropy. Have you ever read an old collection of letters? I remember being impressed at some of the letters foot soldiers in the Civil War wrote to their families. Even moderately educated people seemed to write very well. I'm sure I sound like an old fogey, and that's okay. I also understand that language is an evolving thing. However, I think we are slowly degrading our language much in the same way instant mass media has eroded our art.
What do you mean my sig is repetitive? What do you mean my sig is repetitive? What do you mean....