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Still No Contact from Beagle 2
Many of you have submitted this, so this will be a condensing of the relevant information. WebfishUK writes: "The BBC has just released this story which announces the failure of the latest and possibly best chance to contact the British built Mars probe, Beagle 2. Given that Mars Express was designed to communicate with Beagle (unlike the earlier attempts with NASA's Mars Odyssey), this may indicate that something catastrophic has happened to Beagle 2." From Bromrrrrr: "[The]
ESA is reporting that the Mars Express, which everybody was hoping would be able to get through to the poor lost puppy, has failed its first attempt. 'We have not lost hope yet to contact Beagle 2, but we also know that it has landed on an unforgiving planet,' said David Southwood, ESA's Director of Science." and I-R-Baboon adds: "The Mars Express mothership from the EU passed 350 km over the intended landing site of the Beagle 2 hearing only silence. Although nothing was heard, hope has not been given up yet, as scientists will keep trying until February, with more passovers of the Beagle 2's landing site on January 8th, 9th, 10th, 12th, and 14th." Additional updates can be obtained from the Beagle 2 homepage as well as from the ESA's homepage for the Mars Express. Here's hoping that the lander is only down, and not out.
A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Beagle what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the British Brown...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead Beagle when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable craft, the British Brown, idn'it, ay? Beautiful airbags!
C: The airbags don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the device)
'Ello, Mister Polly Beagle! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the antenna)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the antenna!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes Beagle out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead Beagle.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: British Browns stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Beagle is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged orbit.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
to be sure the Beagle dosent fall in enemy hands.
sadly the most likely failure mode is beagle 2 strewn in little pieces across the martian landscape. key systems in the lander went untested before launch, I guess they're tested now. :P
>Sure there is. We have the strongest economy and
>the largest GNP in the world. We have the
>greatest technology (though I fear that may
>change if we do not shape up) in the world. We
>have the strongest military. We invented the
>computer you are using to connect to the website
>(also invented here) over the internet (invented
>here) using broadband (invented here) or the
>telephone (also invented here). Slashdot itself
>was invented here and is hosted here.
Thanks for that. America did not invent
* the computer.
* websites (or the WWW).
* the telephone.
* Broadband encompases many technologies, including 3G techs, not all of which can be claimed to be invented by america.
Also, currently the EU has a larger GNP then America.
I will give you the military though as you seem so proud of it.