Slashdot Mirror
Japanese X68000 Game Disc Warnings Amuse
Thanks to NFG.2y.net for its new feature cataloging the amusing-looking floppy disc warnings featured on classic game sleeves from the Sharp X68000 Japanese computer. Highlights include the Capcom sleeve illustrations, where "the Street Fighter 2 characters exhorted you to take good care of your floppies", as well as some strange warnings from Japanese developer Zoom, including the suggestions that users "don't bathe with your floppy", and a cautionary tale about dropping your hardware.
But every now and then, right around dusk, I'll look out my back window as the sun falls slowly to sleep. And I'll chuckle a little when I catch myself. I just can't stop believing that Negroes exist!
I never doubted the existence of Negroes as a kid. My parents smiled knowingly and said nothing. But at night, lying in bed, I could imagine that Negroes really might be chirping and fluttering across the nearby countryside, scouring the foliage for the secret ingredients of Negro Stew.And of course I believed the legend that a young child, pure of heart, could make a Negro appear. If I was a good boy, perhaps I might see one tip his top hat and give me a wink!
It was Mark Twain's classic novel on Negro life, Yassuh, Massuh Clements, Whatevuh Yuh Say, Suh, that hatched an ill plan of mine to actually see a Negro in person. In that immortal piece of Americana, Twain recounts the old legend that a young lad can summon a Negro. He must stand outside at dusk, face southeast, hold a tooth that has just fallen out, and sing:
Cah Loo, Cah Lee, Tra Loo, Tra Ley,
A Negro song today!
Come hear my call, come one and all,
Tra Lee La Negro, hey!
If ye be keen to come along
And sing the magic Negro songs,
Then Tra Lee La, Tra True La Ley,
T'will be a Negro day!
If all goes well, the young boy will hear a voice singing in the distance:
A taste of stew, and Negro Pie,
Oh who will break my fast with me?
For me it is a weary life,
But I will sup with thee.
For tales, I'll tell you of a lass,
My Negress love at distant shore.
We'll sing beneath an apple tree,
A merry Negroling and thee,
Until the dawn is born.
And, after suddenly appearing with a flash of light and burst of smoke, the Negro will exchange the tooth for a bag of silver dimes.
Well, when I was seven, I was ready to try it out. Sneaking out of my bedroom, I crept down the stairs and into the backyard. I was certain that I would actually see a Negro! What would he be like? Would he be mean or friendly? Would he show me the magic sword used to fend off the Irish?
After singing into the night as loudly as I dared, I stood with an expectant grin. The grass was soft under my pyjama feet. There seemed to be a sparkle in the air! But after several hours of waiting, I slumped with disappointment. No Negroes for me. My father rushed downstairs upon hearing me come in. At first he was worried, but his concerned frown turned into a gentle smile when he heard what I had been up to.
"Son," he said, somberly. "There are no such things as Negroes."
A little bit of my childhood died that day. But not completely. Whenever the dusk falls on a clear summer day, I look out to the southeast and dream of a bite of Negro Pie.
Wait, why is the balrog in SF2? And, does the street fighter two balrog have wings? Oh, wait, now I get it... Balrogs have shiny wings!
t m
Amazingly, this *is* on topic!
http://nfg.2y.net/games/x68k_sleeves/capcom1.sh
Wow, I totally didn't realise how awesome the world was when I was a kid!
It runs under Human 68K, an operating system which looks like CP/M 68 or MSDOS and uses a graphic user interface called VS. Notice that the development is still active on that computer, several OSes have been ported on the X68000, the most famous are Minix and Unix NetBSD and all the GNU tools and there are some projects under development : XNeptune (a Ethernet card) or Ko-Windows (a 'NextStep-like' graphic environment). Sweet design too.
Balrog is the boxer, Vega is the guy with the metal claws.
As an American, I really have to speak out: why is it the Japanese are always made fun of for their (admittedly "creative") English? How many Americans can speak Japanese? How many Americans can speak another language even (not to mention how many can speak anything other than the German/Latin/French/Spanish poorly taught in high school)? The average American doesn't have an idea of any culture outside of their own.
So, get back to me when you can hobble together a sentence or two in Japanese.
"There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter," Jeeves, (Jeeves and the Impending Doom)
I have got to get into a marketing firm somewhere so I can put those directions on a game box.
Shake til you puke!
I don't get some of the ones from Zoom. Who would want to have sex with a floppy? (The Love is for Grown-Ups one)
Frink: Nice try floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing, and scrubbing is what you shall do.
I sense a patent suit! Who patented "silly disk care warning icons"? .... hmm... no one eh ... be right back ...
Photos... I mean GIMP Contest!
Hmmm... I still like the warning on the back of old NES games, "Avoid Violent Bumps"
Haven't read the article yet myself, but the "safety" warnings on products-- regardless of where you actually get them-- are usually pretty funny to me, particularly because in order to actually become a warning, ostensibly someone must have tried the offending act at least once.
Anyway, I just wanted to chip in that on Sega Saturn and Dreamcast discs, there was usually a CD-audio track that had some warning to the effect of "take me out of the CD player, dumbass, and put me in the game machine". Sega's warnings were pretty standard, but a few third-party warnings were hilarious (Working Designs did a really good one for Magic Knight Rayearth) or downright creepy. Those kinds of warnings deserve mention, too.
"Why Subscribe?" Good question...
For a second I thought this particular Zoom warning was a moral exhortation to game enthusiasts who are minors, but looking at the fact that it's in silhouette showing off the giant hole in the middle of the floppy, it becomes suddenly, painfully, hilariously clear.
Get off my launchpad!
Did anyone notice the weirdly suggestive diction, "Love is for grownups"? That scares me.
Danke tres mucho, tovarishch.
This is somewhat offtopic, so apologies in advance.
I rented some third party maracas for the Dreamcast's Samba De Amigo a few years ago. Unfortunately I don't remember the name of the company that made them, but they were covered with the most ludicrous "Engrish" warnings I'd ever seen. Can anybody point me to box shots of some third party controllers? I'd love to re-read some of them.
If you could be anything you want, I'll bet you'd be disappointed.
SotN gave you a free music track on track 1 if you attempted to listen to the game disc on a CD player.
Most TurboDuo games had a young woman's voice speaking the warning. "This disc contains..."
I have a printout of a web page from scei.co.jp entitled "STORY FROM DR. AT PlayStation CLINIC".
It starts like this:
Story of Liquid
You might play game as you drink pop, right? As you get excited, you might have spilled the pop. It would be sucked if you spill the pop over your PlayStation!.... If the cockroaches get into the console through tiny space, it makes inside dirty and does mischief. So be aware!
I can't find the orignal page anymore, but someone posted some more excerpts here.