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Chess - 2070 CPUs vs 1 GM
jvarsoke writes "ChessBrain.net broke the world's record for 'largest number of distributed computers used to play a single game' by holding a chess match between Danish GM Peter Heine Nielsen and the equivalent of SETI@home (which similarly, has some people looking for a Mate). 2070 CPU's from 56 countries aided Black by running the chess program Beowulf, including a couple of University clusters. Their supernode ran Linux, and MySQL. The game was relayed by FICS. Results can be viewed here(1) and here(2)."
BFD!
Get a life. Chess faggots.
I knew a guy in high school that, at such a tender age, had a penis pump installed because of some earlier trauma that left his member "lifeless", as it were. Unable to satisfy, if you catch my drift. For those of you who don't know, some penis pumps work based on air pressure, and the pump is installed in place of a removed testicle. When you need a dingo, you simply squish that ball until you've achieved the sufficient level of alertness.
So, this chap would wait for the game to start, and he's use his first minute thusly: he'd whip out his twig'n'berries, lay 'em out next to the board, and isolate that right ball-pump with his left thumb and forefinger. Right in front of his astonished opponent, he would then use his right fist and slam it repeatedly on that ball-pump, smashing it dead flat with each violent stroke. While doing this, he'd stare his opponent right in the face and say, "I can take the pain...in fact, it excites me!" Sure enough, right about the time he'd finish that sentence his man-at-arms would be armed and ready for combat. Then he'd simply put it away, make his first move, and punch his clock by slamming his right fist down on the button. Throughout the game, whenever he wanted to conjure the image, he'd slam that right fist on his clock button after a move.
Yep, I remember when we went to the state chess tournament. My friend pulled up a chair to his first opponent and waited for the go signal from the chess stewards to begin. Well, being state and all, he must have been way too keyed up. When the call to start rang out, he jumped up, sending his chair toppling backwards, whipped out his member and laid it flat on the table. He was moving a little too fast for his own good, though, and his first fist slam didn't find its true mark. No...sadly, instead, he ended up cock-punching himself directly into unconsciousness, right there before his horrified opponent's eyes. Apparently he caught a piece of his left ball too, because they had to remove that after this incident, and now that side of his sac just hangs there like a shriveled grape.
The point of telling this story is to say: I agree. Playing a human can be so much different from playing a computer.