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Fermi Lab Compromised by Pirate
tttonyyy writes "The US Department of Energy sounded a full scale alert after machines were compromised at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, according to this BBC article. It turns out that the hacker was a student using the machines to download and store music and movies."
used to store MP3's and DIVX's.
...
:-D
Shock Horror
Now if he'd accessed the controls for particle accelerator and was able to spin it up then thats news.
Worst
The China Syndrome
re*ac*tor by Neil Young
Duke Nukem Platinum Edition
Christmas at Ground Zero by Weird Al
The Atomic Cafe
Everyone's favorite video clip of Janet Jackson's right breast
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
There's got to be a better use for that kind of skill. ;)
This hacker could have inadvertaintly invented cold fusion just before Morgan Freeman destoyed chicago in an attempt to keep him from hooking up with Kate Winslet on his super-sonic 50cc Kawasaki.
I know for a fact this could have been worse. I saw it at the theater. Full price.
I wanted to see someone write "1 4m 1337" using an electron accelerator.
Arrr ... matey ... I reckon 'tis gold in dem particle collectors!
In a surprise announcement from Fermi Labs, it would seem that the basic building blocks of matter, created from our accelerator tests is in fact, pr0n.
In fact there seemed to be quite a lot of it in our reports, as well as some indication that the sound of the big bang was in fact a Britney Spears mp3...
It could have been worse. He could have been caught smuggling atoms out of the place in his pockets.
"See? He's got atoms in his pockets! Call the local constabulary, Smithers!"
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
I, for one, welcome our new atomic mutant rapping' heavy metal MP3 overlords.
Damn! How can I flame somebody so polite :) My car just died; forgive my anger, grasshopper.
/me goes into a corner and cries.
Condemnant quod non intellegunt.
I believe the application form is in ~admin at 131.225.70.2 :-)
As a Pirate-American, I take offense at the use of the term "pirate" for a simple hacker or cracker. Where are his sea legs, his parrot/monkey, his eye patch or pegleg?
Fermi Lab Compromised by Pirate
Damn it. I was expecting a bit of coastal raiding action from this story. Maybe black flags with the skull and crossbones. A little rapine and pillaging of the Fermi Lab.
Damn corruption of the English language.
Have a look here to see their traffic. Totals are here. They can handle 2gb/sec.
McElroy's note to self: next time store music and video on BBC computers, not FermiLab.
Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
This Just In...
Fermi Labs announced the production of a new supersized sub-atomic particle, boxons. Boxons were created by smashing oxygen with bosons (another sub-atomic particle).
Examined through the most powerful microscope in the world, the boxon appears to be a cardboard box, with the words "Shroedinger's Cat" written on the side. Sadly, the box is empty.
Definitely.
The US should extradite him and CANE his ass... that'll
teach 'em.
And I won't even mind paying the bill to involve
the FBI, Attorney General and the State Department
to make it happen.
This is clearly the biggest threat the US has ever known.
On a not unrelated note, we have been hacked several times by people uploading movies, MP3s, etc. The system was never rebuilt and the files were simply deleted.
Evil solution: Take MP3s, DivXs, etc.; modify them to include very badly 'hidden' steganographic information that looks like it came from terrorists. Replace originals. Wait for uploaders to download them again. Anonymously tip-off FBI that said h4x0r may be involved in terrorism. FBI search their hard drives, shit hits the fan.
Step 3- Profit! Oh, hang on- that's the one thing you *don't* get out of this method.
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
Given that he probably did it for the self-boast rather than space, he should be roasted.
/dev/urandom > /dev/particleaccelerator
Are you sure? My guess is that it was a trap so he could roast someone else...
RIAA Goon: There! In the supercollider building- that's where the IP address of the machine with the illegal content is...
The goons enter the compound and proceed down a corridor when they reach a thick door with a sign on it.
MPAA Goon: It says "Entering Accelerator Core- Danger: High Velocity Neutrons and Gamma Rays".
RIAA Goon: Who the hell does this kid think he is? He can't fool us! We'll stuff so many lawsuits down his pants that his piss won't hit the floor when he wets his titey-whiteys!
|-|a> sees the goons on the security camera display on his screen, then opens up a terminal and types:
root@fermi1.fnal.gov:~ #cat
MPAA Goon: It's got to be around here somewhere...
low rumble, which increases in pitch...
RIAA Goon: What's that sound?
pi = 3.141592653589793helpimtrappedinauniversefactory7
Hacking into a national research laboratory with a particle accelerator, attempting to unlock the secrets of the universe = 200 hours community service
Hacking into a Fortune 500 company, with a dedicated legal team and a public image to maintain = 3-5 years in a federal pound-you-in-the-ass prison.
Logging onto Kazaa to download the latest Britteny Spears album........priceless