Which Instant Coffee?

nhn asks: "Being a caffeine-addict, I feel quite miserable not having my favourite coffee, every morning. I can't walk to Starbucks/Gloria Jeans, while I'm at work, since there is an instant coffee machine available (and I dislike filtered coffee). For the record: I hate Nescafe, it simply sucks." What must you drink, after your dreams have evaporated into the waking world? What types of coffee would you recommend to a seasoned coffee afficionado...or even your garden variety caffeine addict?

"Given:

• I'm a fulltime developer.
• I like very strong coffee, my usual cup is espresso machiato.
• My coffee-style: French, or Italian as a second choice.
• I need coffee to keep myself awake for at least 8 hours (you know how it feels like when you have to debug thousand lines of code, don't you?)
• I drink coffee first for the taste, then the caffein, not the other way around."

Comments

Dear Cliff,

[ObviousGuy]

YHBT

Espresso has lower caffeine per volume than drip coffee, so any illusion that the submitter is under that his espresso machiatto is keeping him up better than a cup of joe is mistaken.

Second, espresso tastes of burnt wood. It is the nature of the roasting method that it be unrecognizable as anything but black tar. The submitter is lying to himself and to us when he thinks that he's drinking espresso for anything other than to show off his gay Frenchiness.

And finally, no one who really enjoyed coffee can enjoy freeze dried coffee crystals, much less prefer it to drip coffee. The submitter again pulls our leg with the ridiculous statement that he would much rather drink instant horse piss than brew a cup of coffee in a coffee maker.

And by answering here, IHBT too.

Re:Dear Cliff,

[eap]

Second, espresso tastes of burnt wood. It is the nature of the roasting method that it be unrecognizable as anything but black tar.

This is like saying, "It's the nature of the fermentation processs that causes all wine to taste of sterno and armpit vapor" when all you've ever drank is prison pruno.

You're drinking the sludge served by your local Starbucks. Real Italian espresso is not over-roasted and black. Try espresso made with Illy* beans. True, it brings out the gay Frenchiness in you, but hell, you are posting on Slashdot.

*not affiliated with Illy

this makes me wonder...

[dutch_admin]

if coffee wasn't invented, would we have any computers now ?

Screw making coffee, that's what baristas are for.

[Perdo]

Venti Iced Latte (basis for the drink).

Add 3 Shots (6 total).

Add Breve (Half & Half).

Add Cinnamon Syrup (Ever try to sweeten an Iced coffee?)

Don't ask me how to say it in Starbucks speak.

2 a day.

$300 a month.

Twice the price of my cigarette habit.

Liky twice as bad for me too.

Ask a lawyer!

[Pete (big-pete)]

Hey - why are you asking slashdot - if you want professional advice you shouldn't be asking a load of geeks who barely know what they're talking about! Ask a lawyer who can tell you the real facts for your situation.

Ooops - wrong standard answer...I'll try again...

Why don't you just google for this type of stuff, instead of bothering all us slashdotters who have better things to do than gather information that you could have easily found yourself!!

Bugger - that doesn't fit either...wow - is this actually an Ask Slashdot where people can't bring out their old tired complaints?! What is the world coming to?!

-- Pete.
Mmmmm - coffee!

Re:Priorities...

[Zardoz44]

Before you recite the evils of coffee, take a look at this report:

Drink 6 Cups a Day

Mix this with your two glasses of wine a day (to help you sleep after all the coffee) and you're all set. It's *twitch*normal.

Re:In the UK

[batemanm]

Maybe he was talking about the ice cream. He says it tastes great and that a couple of spoon fulls really wakes you up. Ice cream generally tastes good and I'm sure that having a couple of spoon fulls dropped on you while your asleep will definetly wake you up :-)

Re:Instant Goodness

[hucke]

I had a jar for backup and ended up just tossing it into the trash.

That's because "jar" isn't for backup. "tar" is for backup; "jar" is for packaging java applications.

Re:coffee quality

[PainKilleR-CE]

Starbucks in the store goes for around $8 for a 12oz bag. Go to Costco and get 3lb for $8.

Unfortunately, I usually buy Sumatra, which Costco (at least around here) doesn't sell, so I'm stuck buying a bag a week at Starbucks.

On the bright side, a 3lb. bag would probably start to go stale before I finished it.

My best advice for someone looking to get through the day in an office that won't allow you to go out and get coffee during the day is to bring a large caraffe that'll keep the coffee at a good temperature throughout the day. I make a pot every morning and take most of it with me (if I don't leave some behind for the girlfriend, I have a problem on my hands that could've been avoided).

College Roommate Story

[severoon]

I understand you don't want to drink instant. But that's probably because you're drinking it wrong!

Try the method I learned from watching my freshman year roommate in college every morning:

1. Wake up. (Don't skip this step.)
2. Take one heaping teaspoon of the instant coffee of your choice by mouth. Chew if necessary.
3. Make face.
4. Take one level teaspoon of granulated sugar by mouth. Chew if necessary.
5. Make face.
6. Scramble over to mini-fridge, usually stubbing toe on alarm clock furiously hurled against wall just prior to step one.
7. Make face.
8. Curse loudly.
9. Remove a one cup carton of heavy whipping cream from mini-fridge, open, and gulp.
10. Make face.

That's all there is to it. You can refine this further by considering the finer points of: (a) instant coffees that include "flavor crystals" and (b) substituting light whipping cream or whole milk in place of the heavy whipping cream.

You may also wish to employ other time- and energy-saving techniques I learned from my first year college roommate, such as:

• Don't bother washing clothes. Instead, just run them through a dryer cycle. Remember: warm equals clean.
• Do not exceed more than one shower per week.

Bottoms up!
sev

I agree with Obvious Guy's post

[Marijuana al-Shehi]

If you have to stay awake for eight hours at a stretch then you need to try a different strategy:

1. Gather the following supplies: glass crack pipe, ground coffee (any brand will do), baking soda, a cigarette lighter
2. Mix the coffee grounds and baking soda with a little water to form a paste
3. Press it into a block
4. Allow it to dry
5. Break off a piece and stuff it in your pipe
6. Hit it with the lighter and WHOA!
7. Once your eyeballs recess back into their sockets, grab your kb & start coding!
8. Repeat as needed, remembering not to become neurotic over time as you notice that you need more than you did the previous day (which is why it's okay to use the cheap stuff)
9. Finish your programming project
10. Check into a rehab clinic
11. Repeat!

it's all about the defaults

[bandy]

If I were Captain, I'd set the fscking food processors to serve up "tea" the way I like it, and skip the "Earl Grey, hot" hoo-ha.