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Europe Joins Race To Send Humans To Mars
hereisnowhy writes "CBC reports that the ESA hopes to send humans to Mars within three decades. They first hope to return a Martian soil sample by 2014. They stress the importance of determining whether Mars ever supported life before humans touch down on the surface, because "You can sterilize a robot. But you cannot do the same to an astronaut. Inevitably a human will introduce microbes to the planet ... and contaminate it."" Kame-sennin links to a Reuters article on the plans.
GNAA Interviews CowboyNeal
by GNAA staff
UPDATE! UPDATE!
Since the original posting of this article there has been some doubts about authenticity of CowboyNeal. Rest assured, however, he was indeed the real CowboyNeal. We could tell by the smell coming from his pants.
On January 17 2004, select members of the GNAA interviewed CowboyNeal on IRC channel #caoine at irc.caoine.org.
We will be right back after this commercial break!
According to Google Zeitgeist, there are about 80% of Internet Explorer 6 users. The only platform supporting Internet Explorer 6 is, of course, Microsoft Windows. These statistics are consistent with the earlier presented graphs of the operating systems used to access Google, with the Windows family consistently taking the top 3 ranks. Out of remaining 20%, the split is even between MSIE 5.5, MSIE 5.0, both Windows-only browsers. Netscape 5.x (including Mozilla) counts for only a measly 5% of browsers used to access Google. As you can see from the graph, this sample was calculated starting from March 2001 until September 2003.
According to Google Zeitgeist, there are about 80% of Internet Explorer 6 users. The only platform supporting Internet Explorer 6 is, of course, Microsoft Windows. These statistics are consistent with the earlier presented graphs of the operating systems used to access Google, with the Windows family consistently taking the top 3 ranks. Out of remaining 20%, the split is even between MSIE 5.5, MSIE 5.0, both Windows-only browsers. Netscape 5.x (including Mozilla) counts for only a measly 5% of browsers used to access Google. As you can see from the graph, this sample was calculated starting from March 2001 until September 2003.
And now we return to our scheduled broadcast...
The following are select portions of the chat transcript kept by official GNAA stenographer (and Ringmusculaturis II Leader), Captain B. Dick
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GNAA Member AbdullaH introduces himself to CowboyNeal
[5:09:26] AbdullaH: Hello, Sir! My name is Abdullah Ihram Mohammad Bin Zular Krokar Tehroham Kumr, I am a TERRORIST. My father was on the first plane that crashed in the World Tarde Center. I get a boner every time CNN plays that tape. If you wish to help me in my quest for WORLD SLAVERY, please purchase a kalashnikov at your nearest kalashnikov store and HELP ME KILL ALL AMERICANS!
[5:09:29] CowboyNeal: if this is part of that jihad I keep hearing about, it's a pretty fucking lame part of it
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CowboyNeal is questioned about his feelings towards civil rights; uses both the N, and K-words
[5:21:11] timecop: CowboyNeal: do you have something against niggers?
[5:21:24] CowboyNeal: nay, some of best friends are nigs
[5:23:47] CowboyNeal: like all my kike friends too?
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GNAA Member timecop inquires about Slashdot moderation policies. CowboyNeal admits to cleaning peoples' shit up for a living.
[5:16:04] timecop: I have a problem with my slashdot account
[5:16:09] timecop: it has Karma: excellent
[5:16:10] timecop: but I post at -1
[5:16:12] timecop: WHAT THE FUCK?!
[5:16:19] CowboyNeal: yeah, sucks, don't it?
[5:16:26] CaptBDick: wow that can happen?
[5:16:41] timecop: CowboyNeal: mind to explain what the FUCK is going on?
[5:17:00] CowboyNeal: you got downmodded into oblivion at least once, and there's no second chances
[5:17:17] timecop: no, i got a better theory
[5:17:35] timecop: some nazis downmodded a bunch of my comments and set a flag to fuck all my posts
[5:17:41] timecop: because someone doesnt agree with my OPINIONS
[5:18:05] Cowb
After all their success with Beagle, I think Europeans should stick with what they're best at, bitching about Americans and leave space travel to the people that understand it best, the USA.
What the fuck is with this obsession with mars? Is it just an excuse to pour billions down the toilet or what?
1 Compiler Error
Perhaps you should try:
Bush == Hitler
You haven't been paying attention, have you? GWB's screwed the US economy so badly that the US$ has weakened to the point that it's no more valuable than some of those third world currencies.
What the fuck does "Cheers" mean you fucking stupid gimp? Don't be a little smartarse cunt and tell me the literal meaning. Why the hell would you put it there?
"They should send RMS. The planet would be fully terraformed within a week. Cheers."
You should shut up. Many people would be much happier. Cheers.
What kinda idiot thinks Bush is the same as Hitler? We're trying to warn you that he's been posessed by Hitler's ghost. Bush=Hitler. Jesus, do we have to spell everything out for you?
Call me a cynic but I'm going to be 40 this year. When I was a kid I figured that we'd be making our first attempt at Mars about now having setup our Moon base in the 80s.
Now I'm convinced that mankind will never reach Mars in my lifetime and unlikely to do so even when my grand children are old and dying. Assuming that they don't get nuked first.
Personally the way global politics is shaping up and American corporate greed is growing I doubt that we will have the money or the time to go to Mars as we will be busy cleaning up the mess from several small nuclear wars.
Slashdot, home of supporters of free software, free music, and free speech.Except for Moderators that disagree with you.
You haven't been paying attention, have you? GWB's screwed the US economy so badly that the US$ has weakened to the point that it's no more valuable than some of those third world currencies.
I know you're trolling, but I just can't pass up a good fight.
GWB's administration lowered the rate of the dollar because they know what they're doing. Lowering the rate of the dollar makes US goods cheaper in foreign countries. If US goods are cheaper, then domestic companies can make more money via exports. If domestic companies are making more money, then they'll hire more employees. See how that works?
Be rest assured that the US Dollar will be at a crazy exchange rate again when strong buying power returns to the economy, and the US doesn't mind imports instead of exports.
Sincerest apologies to Kerry finatics who think the President of the United States of America is Hitler reincarnated.
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
from mars. Part of the problem why americans cant be made germ free because they wipe their asses and dont wash it. crumbs of shit remain stuck in ass hair and asshole folds. I thought NASA was smart enough to figure this out! :-D flame
All the stupid leftie envirowackos worry about contamination. Fuck off! WE'RE FUCKING GOING TO FUCKING MARS!! Contamination? Tough shit. We'll be mining that red dust ball for all its worth.
Rather than bring earthlings to Mars, bring Mars to earthlings instead. It just takes longer, that's all......oh, and we might lose our moon in the process.
Table-ized A.I.
Who cares if Mars gets contaminated. What could happen ? A group of aliens with hostile intentions will evolve and attack us in 500 million years ? I think its safe to say that a microbe won't spread around the entire planet and damage it indefinitely. The only reason I could think of not contaminating mars is that there might be possible conflicts with evidence of past life, but wouldn't it be relatively easy to tell the difference between 100 000 year old bacteria and the crap that came with the ship ?
If the dollar is an "I owe you nothing", then the Euro is a "Who owes you nothing." - Doug Casey
Does Blair have to do EVERYTHING that Bush does?