Slashdot Mirror
Worst Terms of Service Ever
The legal birdseed here (appropriately and manically illustrated in the manner of The Secret Guide to Computers) makes the copy on Dr. Bronner's Soap look sane; the user agreement ("Click on any link or image to indicate "I ACCEPT" the USER Agreement.") begins with a little blurb about why it's necessary, and asks you not to be put off by the legalese. That might seem disingenuous at first, but buried in the text is this note, too: "[Yes, we know that you think that all this legalese is completely ridiculous, and we think so too, but we also believe that current law unfortunately requires that it be done this way; So if you know of a better, simpler 'legally correct' way, do tell us how!]"
(Besides this amusing legal stuff, the site is actually very interesting, at least if you enjoy U.S. history and trains.)
What is a Troll?
troll v.,n. 1. [From the Usenet group alt.folklore.urban] To utter a posting on Usenet designed to attract predictable responses or flames; or, the post itself. Derives from the phrase "trolling for newbies" which in turn comes from mainstream "trolling", a style of fishing in which one trails bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. The well-constructed troll is a post that induces lots of newbies and flamers to make themselves look even more clueless than they already do, while subtly conveying to the more savvy and experienced that it is in fact a deliberate troll. If you don't fall for the joke, you get to be in on it. See also YHBT. 2. An individual who chronically trolls in sense 1; regularly posts specious arguments, flames or personal attacks to a newsgroup, discussion list, or in email for no other purpose than to annoy someone or disrupt a discussion. Trolls are recognizable by the fact that the have no real interest in learning about the topic at hand - they simply want to utter flame bait. Like the ugly creatures they are named after, they exhibit no redeeming characteristics, and as such, they are recognized as a lower form of life on the net, as in, "Oh, ignore him, he's just a troll." - Dictionary.com
Types of Trolls
Angry Newbie: May not actually be a troll, at least at first. It usually starts with someone coming into a newsgroup and greeting us with a binary (image) post or a html post. Typically, this draws nothing but complaints for this clear mistake. Then the newbie, instead of adapting to the norm of the newsgroup, tries to fight back, often trying to invoke the American Freedom of Speech, which is null and void on Usenet and the Internet in general, thereby becoming a troll.
Best Response: When they go bad on us, the standard response is to be used. Killfile and ignore.
Eternal Newbie: A newbie who doesn't have a clue, and never will, but none the less, continues to post and reply.
Best Response: Although, trying to educate them may eventually help, likely a better response is ignore, with killfiling optional, if you don't find them amusing.
Professional Troll: Their primary goal is to lure someone into replying, so, they can make fools of them. They are often incredibly off-topic and/or anti-topic, this is one of the reasons seemly misdirected posts should be ignored, as it may not be a mistake. Key signs to look for: Usually more than one at a time; heavy cross-postings to newsgroups that often don't make sense together, e.g., anime, computers, and fashion newsgroups in one post; and large signatures frequently with ascii art included and/or group membership.
Best Response: Killfile period. Do not directly response to them or even acknowledge their existence. If you must comment on them, do not post a reply to their message thread, start a new one urging the regulars and the newly arrived newbies and/or lurkers to not (or stop) reply to the trolls. Pre-emptive action is possible by going to the other newsgroups they crossposted to, especially the ones with silly topic names, and look for traces of earlier actions in these newsgroups and killfile everyone involved in that newsgroup's trolling. Counter-attacking with abuse reports are often futile.
Psycho Troll: Typically, an angry newbie who decides to get revenge. It can get ugly, quick. They may impersonate an enemy, attempt to get their foe TOS'ed, or use the newsgroup's faq as a trolling guide.
Best Response: Fortunately, they typically have more anger than common sense, and a simple abuse report to their news service provider, email provider, and/or ISP is usually effective in silencing them. Don't tell us you are doing this, just do it, as you may make yourself a direct target of them, if you announce to the world that you are going to do it.
Are you INTELLIGENT?
Are you a SLASHDOT READER?
Are you an INTELLIGENT SLASHDOT READER?
If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, then the SFC (SIMIONIKER FAN CLUB) might be exactly what you've been looking for!
Join SFC (SIMONIKER FAN CLUB ) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a full-time SFC member.
SFC (SIMONIKER FAN CLUB ) is the fastest-growing SIMONIKER FAN community with THOUSANDS of members all over United States of America. You, too, can be a part of SFC if you join today!
Why not? It's quick and easy - only 2 simple steps!
First, you have to obtain a copy of Simonikers list of stories and read them.
Second, you need to join the official SFC irc channel #SFC on EFNet, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!
If you are having trouble locating #SFC, the official SIMONIKER FAN CLUB irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is EFNet, and you can connect to irc.secsup.org or irc.isprime.com as one of the EFNet servers.
If you have mod points and would like to support SFC, please moderate this post up.
This post brought to you by a proud member of SFC
SFC is not affilated with the so-called "Simonigger Fan Club".
Intelligent slashdot readers? man, you sure aren't looking for a broad audience... :) Pehaps your fanclub specializes in off-topic, posts...
Lol, it's a hilarious reference to an Arab TV show!
Oh come on. How the fuck did this get modded up to +5? Is this the new way to karma whore? To ask how something will hold up in court? Give me a fucking break. There is absolutely nothing insightful in the parent post, it's what most of us are thinking, and that does _not_ make it insightful.
My wife brought home a contract of adhesion one time. We had to get EMS out here to separate my dick from her boobs.
Oh wait, I thought that said "contraceptive of adhesion". Never mind! Carry on!
Like what I said? You might like my music