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Toy Penguins and Male Egos Drove Linux Acceptance
An anonymous reader writes "Germany's local and city councils have been pioneering the migration from Windows to Linux. Now, one of the IT staff behind one move has revealed how they persuaded workers to accept the changes. Stuffed toy penguins and Linux t-shirts helped to create an open-source love-in at the council offices, and they got a senior chairwoman to demonstrate the new system to the troops. Male ego stopped anyone claiming that Linux was difficult to use, once they'd seen that the 'weaker sex' could master it :)"
1. You don't Know any better
If you're ACTUALLY reading this page, looking to be informed as to why you "need" to switch to a Macintosh, chances are you don't know a damn thing about anything - especially computers. That's why you need a Mac, because you just don't know any better! You don't know how to make your PC run, so it's easy and comforting to accept the "fact" that all your problems are Windows related. Heaven forbid you think for two seconds that all of your encounters with BSOD's/viruses/cluttered HD's/etc be the product of OPERATOR ERROR! My dear lord, it can't be!
2. It matches your curtains!
You don't have time to sit and worry about whether or not you're getting screwed, paying more for less power and performance... and why WOULD you worry about something like that? The fact is, you wouldn't, and you won't have too: you'll be too busy mulling over which color iMac will best offset your periwinkle comforter - it's Feng-Shui the Apple way!
3. Switch, or we will rape you with an iPOD!
No, seriously... we'll do it. We've done it many times before, that's how some of us at Apple got to ride the Segway early. You should've SEEN Kaman's surprise. P.S. You will NOT like the fire-wire-reach-around either!
4. Firewire means "Faster Lolitas!"
If you're the kind of computer user that worries about the feds raiding your shit-hole apartment every time you drop off a roll of film at 'The Wal-Mart', then you NEED a Mac. Stop spending time in a sweaty state of paranoia, and start spending it organizing those compromising photos you took during that "work-related" trip to Japan. With iPhoto, all your twelve-year-old-school-uniform-clad-plastic-prop-t entacle-rape porn will be easier to organize than your scant black book!
5. Never worry about "other programs" again.
With PC's, users tend to find themselves overwhelmed and inundated by all the "choices" they have. Which program is 'best' for burning CD's? Which program has the 'features' I want or need when it comes to playing movies/mp3's/my photos? You need not worry your pretty little soul thanks to Apple, as a Mac user, you've got the following programs at your fingertips: iTunes, iDVD, iMovie, and iPhoto! Should you want to, say, use a different program for any of the functions, simply utter the following to yourself in reassurance: i-Fucked...
6. Sits on your lap for a couple grand.
It's like a high-class lap dance. For about the same price, your Mac will provide you with more warmth, entertainment, and interactivity than that RealDoll you purchased a while back. Now, instead of sitting in your parents' basement using their PC, you can be using your iBook... in your parents' basement...
7. See all those pretty icons over there?
It's true; all of those icons represent some of the premiere Internet applications. From web browsing, to instant messaging, some of the finest software available on the 'ol WWW even have Mac Versions! Sure they may run a little slower and require gobs of ram if you want to have, say, more than one open at any given time; but they're AQUA THEMED!
8. Office is Office, and then some
You can run Microsoft Office on your Mac. How about that? Leave your current office suite behind... for, umm... OUR Office suite! Yeah, that's the ticket! Beyond Office, you'll find you can run more than 3,000 applications designed specifically for Apple's new operating system, Mac OS X. You can do anything you'd dream of doing on the Mac -- from CAD to databases to finance. Unless of course you want to, oh, I don't know... play a fun game? Or, load a flash website in under an hour... or, put something on a goddamned floppy without a USB device... oh, sorry, tangent police! *cue sirens*
9. Works effortlessly with PCs
Compatibility is important, no doubt, and Apple has not allowed our own foolish pride to overlook certain standards because of this. That's why we've made sure our every Mac is in some way compatible with the most popular computin
WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
I get to set the agenda. I get to set the topic...
FP HA!
f i r s t p o s t !
PPPost
sheila fraser audited my junk liberally. she strapped me onto parliament hill and she couldnt keep her offensive accountants off of me. she was performing many red ink calculations. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told her the New Conservative Party would not approve of an Auditor-General disgracing an elderly Prime Minister for free.
can you believe it? sheila fraser did all this. she picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down on parliament hill, and just wouldn't stop auditing my dealings.
they definately were red ink markings. the goddamn accountant she had in the back seat kept on marking up his pad every time she audited my dealings but did sheila fraser care? NO WAY! she just kept on doing it. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on, indeed. I pleaded with sheila fraser but to no avail. i told her the New Conservative Party would not approve of an Auditor-General disgracing an elderly Prime Minister (at the time I was 65) without at least compensating me for the trauma and the use of my body as her own political plaything.
this got to her, worrying about her image. she continued to audit me, all the while ignoring the accountant's red marks. then she drove the frasermobile to my house and ejected the seat i was in! it was amazing. but surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it??????????
It doesn't help that I've been Prime Minister for two weeks. I can barely tolerate Sheila Copps in the House of Commons. If Fraser catches me with unauthorized contracts, she'll make me drop trau in front of the Speaker of the House.
There it is. They just found my $1.1b airbus contract. I've got to go.
This is offtopic
Guess where the bad WMD info originated.
Italian Intelligence delivered the BS yellow cake story.
British Intelligence delivered an 11yo dossier that was plagiarized from a student and updated.
The DoD stove-piped their own intelligence based off statements from ex-patriated Iraqis who had not lived in Iraq for years.
The CIA warned that these were all shoddy and suspect, so Cheney met with them daily for months in order to make them "see the light.
Hammer of Truth
So yesterday the White House releases payroll records from Bush's service in the National Guard. The documents show that Bush did show up for his military service in the National Guard. The documents show that he completed his military obligation. So ...what does John Kerry say? Well, he wouldn't comment. He said "It's not an issue that I've chosen to create." Is that so, Mr. Kerry? Let's see ... just what was it you were saying in front of the cameras on Sunday? I think it went something like "The issue here .. is was he present and active on duty in Alabama at the times he was supposed to be? And just because you get an honorable discharge does not, in fact, answer that question."
... but it we know who pushed it for all it was worth for the last week. Now he's saying "Hey, don't look at me! I didn't start this thing."
Let's review. On Sunday Kerry says "The issue here is was he present and active on duty in Alabama at the times he was supposed to be?: On Tuesday, after the records are released, Kerry says "It's not an issue that I've chosen to create." I don't know who actually created this issue, maybe that slug Michael Moore
Logic only a liberal could love.
This is a test. This is a test of the emergency sig system. This has been only a test.
Penguins are gay.
In other news...
Germans were found batting stuffed penguins for distance while wearing yeti suits with big clubs.
Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform
Troll.
So why can they not find anyone who remembers serving with Mr. Bush?
Yeah. Like RTFA
Yup, everyone in the Clinton Administration got fired by Bush, except for the one guy who had a hardon for Iraq. What a strange coincidence.
Germany?
I thought that was Auschwitz/Oswiecim in Poland.
Who do you get to be an expert to tell you something's not obvious? The least insightful person you can find? -J Roberts
You'll also find it in Dachau and Sachsenhausen.
Maybe the mods should take some history lessons.
I hung a sign with it above our front door on the day our dotcom was closed.
;-)
Living in Germany, my non-tech coworkers showed little humor.
you don't want every other women within earshot saying "asshole" under her breath
Actually, I do. Assholes get laid. "Nice guys" don't. Sorry.
1 commercial of the pre-pubescent "linux-kid"
2 commercials for erectile dysfunction medicine
1 half time showing of Jannet's titty
I sense a conspiracy, time to get some tin-foil condoms! Just remember, erections lasting more than 4 hours require intervention.
Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds