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Working Around Bad Luck on the Resume?

Dodger asks: "A year ago I was laid off from my job after 2 1/2 years, shortly after the product I was working on shipped. Later that year, a company moved me 1500 miles from Texas to California, to start working on a promising project, just to have the plug pulled by the corporation that funded it five weeks later, which resulted in another layoff. Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume. When the companies I interview with ask about that situation I simply explain, while trying not to whine or complain. What do other Slashdot readers do to make 'bad luck' (or bad employer choices) look less bad on their resume, and sound less bad in interviews?"

27 of 698 comments (clear)

  1. fake it by MichaelPierce · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    fake a longer period

    1. Re:fake it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      She doesn't for me. You guys must be doing something wrong...

    2. Re:fake it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Honey, maybe you should ask the doctor - I don't think your period should last 3 and a half weeks!

    3. Re:fake it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      grumble.. grumble.. why the hell do we have a pool boy anyways!?! grumble..grumble..

    4. Re:fake it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Yes, not wanting to fuck a bloody cooze, that's what we're doing "wrong", Dracula.

    5. Re:fake it by Omega996 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      how do you know for sure, though?
      Maybe she's got you faked too. hell, this poor guy's married to her, so she probably doesn't even make the effort to make it real for him. but for you, maybe she still doesn't want to crush your ego, especially if your lust is new. seeing as how you're on slashdot, and posting as an AC, the odds are that this is your first time for sex as well.
      she probably tells you you've got a big dick, too. just remember, you can't trust a woman who fakes an orgasm. who knows what she's going to lie about...

  2. Re:HEY DEAN FAGGOTS: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I pity the fool who doesn't like BUSH!

  3. Malibu Stacy touched my junk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I was delivering the morning paper to Malibu Stacy's Dream House, when Stacy came out and asked me if I knew anything about electronics. She led me to the garage, on the pretense that I would help her program the radio stations on her car stereo. With one quick motion she removed my Member's Only jacket, and ripped the buttons off my blue J.C. Penny oxford, exposing my hairless chest. As I started to squirm, she handcuffed me to the gear shift in her Dream Car, and then unbuttoned my pants. Since her hands were on my zipper, I sat motionless as she removed my Toughskins. Now fully exposed, my dick stood straight up as if it was expecting a flag to be raised on it.

    As a show of women's equality, it seems that my hands had no moveable parts, but SHE had the Kung-Fu Grip. She wrapped the rubbery hand, already in a masturbatory position, and proceeded to touch my junk liberally. Since she was over forty I felt quite dirty while she was stroking my junk as if she was awaiting a prize. After 2 minutes of this, I shot my load but it just dribbled out of the end of my cock. My nervousness had hampered my shooting ability. As my cum drizzled onto her Kung-Fu Grip, it started to harden, and she no longer had the ability to release The Grip.

    Four hours later an emergency room doctor applied a solvent to our conjoined body parts that released her grip on my junk. Unfortunately, the extended period of time stuck in this position has rendered my cock to its "erected length" even when I am not hard. Well, I guess at least I look impressive in the showers.

    1. Re:Malibu Stacy touched my junk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      That and masturbating twice a day is probably too much. At least, that's what I heard.

  4. Simple Solution. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    Tell them there was some "unpleasantness", then spit on the floor. Then say, "Make with another question, jackhole."

    This should do the trick every time.

  5. Re:Nigger Owner's Manual (GPL) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Holy shit that is offensive.

    Why does the Slashdot staff allow things like this to be posted?

    Surely it should be deleted and the poster banned (or even reported)?

  6. Tell them to fuck a duck by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Works for me?
    "Wats yur name?"

    "FUCK A DUCK!"

  7. Re:Quick and Dirty by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Invite your future employer to a cockfight!

  8. Re:FUCK YOU BUSH FAGGOTS: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    How would one become intoxicated by a donkey?

  9. Or this: by orthogonal · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume.

    Get the interviewer to empathize with you, by noting that we all make mistakes, now and then: "Who'd have guessed those hippies wouldn't pay me $699 for something they could get a better implementation of for free? But hey-hey, honest mistake, right?

    "I mean, we expected everybody to settle out of court, just to get us to go away. Imagine my surprise when David explained that IBM has so many lawyers on retainer. Really, who'da thunk it? Honest mistake, right?"

  10. Re:Moderator - please delete the racist post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    There should be restrictions on free speech.

  11. FIRE BUSH IN '04 - ELECT OLBERMANN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic


    That's right, Keith Olbermann from MSNBC. He's smart, funny, and trustworthy. Let's put him in the White House and improve things for once.

  12. Re:FUCK YOU BUSH FAGGOTS: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    let's just say you don't want to know. oh god, the horror

  13. Re:Nigger Owner's Manual (GPL) by EvilLiberalGuy · · Score: -1, Offtopic
    The only thing that will get a post deleted and the poster reported

    Scientology documents will get deleted for violating DMCA.

    --
    Sorry. I know nothing.
  14. Re:Lie! by donutz · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    You could always buy Deliver Us from Evil : Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism through this link and help me earn a buck or two. Thanks!

  15. Re:Don't lie by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Which HS are you in?

  16. Re:Nigger Owner's Manual (GPL) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    It is Indeed offensive, but speaks more of its Poster than any other thing...

    I hope you will find that the vast majority of those whom you will meet here are better described by this excerpt from Appendix B of the Jargon File (from Eric S. Raymond)
    entitled "A portrait of J. Random Hacker..."

    "The ethnic distribution of hackers is understood by them to be a function of which ethnic groups tend to seek and value education. Racial and ethnic prejudice is notably uncommon and tends to be met with freezing contempt."

    Peace!

    (google for the rest - a worthshile read!)

  17. Re:If anyone knew by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    HA-HA-HA...your kidding right? Surely no progressive thinking Slashdot reader would recommend a book by that that right wing wacko. The book that you REALLY meant to recommend is "DUDE, WHERE'S MY COUNTRY" By Michael Moore. Check out the Amazon review at: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0446 532231/qid=1077164095//ref=pd_ka_1/002-7957827-979 9264?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

  18. Re:If anyone knew by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Yeah who needs a t-shirt that reads "Teh Man"? $9.99 shipped.SMLXXLXXL

  19. Re:Nigger Owner's Manual (GPL) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Mod parent 5, Hysterical!!! hahahahahaa

  20. moderators need to learn to read by dh003i · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Flamebait is something specifically designed to invoke reaction, with no material. E.g., "FU". My post was not flamebait.

    Offtopic means it is not pertinent to the message it was replying to. My response clearly dealt with accepting state-benefits, which is what the parent-poster was talking about.

    Moderators need to learn how to read. If you don't agree with a post, that doesn't make it off-topic or flamebait. Over-rated, maybe, but you should note there is no moderation "wrong".

  21. Re:If anyone knew by Graemee · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    So, that's how you get first post!