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Perl's Extreme Makeover
PurdueGraphicsMan writes "There's an article over at Yahoo! about the upcoming version of Perl (version 6) and some of the new features (RFC list). From the article: "Although Perl 5's expressions are the most sophisticated available and aspired to by other programming languages, "no one pretends for a moment that they're anything but hideously ugly," said Damian Conway, a core Perl developer and associate professor at Monash University in Australia.""
Ct: Its over Johnny, its over
Jr: nothing is over nothing you just don't turn it off, it wasn't my war you asked me I didn't ask you and I did what I had to do to win but somebody wouldn't let us win and I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the airport protesting me spittin' callin' me baby killer and all kinds of vile crap who are they to protest me huh? Who are they? Unless theve been me and been there and know what the hell theyre yellin' about.
Ct: it's a bad time for everyone Rambo, its all in the past now
Jr: for you, for me civilian life is nothing in the field we had a code of honor you watch my back ill watch yours back here that's nothing
Ct: you're the last of an elite group don't end it like this
Jr: back there I can fly a gunship, I can drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I cant even hold a job parking cars!!! Huh icant jees oh god I had a firend he was in airforce I had all these guys who were my friends back here there was nuthin'man back than this fucking car this red 58 Chevy convertible, he was talikn about his car, and he said we were going to cruise til the tires fall off we were in this bar in Saigon and this kid comes up and this kid carring this shoe shine box shine pleases shine and I said no and he kept askin and joey he said yeah and I went to get couple of beers and the box is wired and he opened up the box and fuckin blew his body all over the place and hes laying there and hes fuckin screaming and theres pieces of him all over me and I can t pull him off you know , my friend its all over me , its got blood and everything and im trying to hold him together and im put him together and he keeps coming out and nobody will help nobody helped me saying I wanna go home I wanna go home, I wanna go home and hes just calling my name Johnny I wanna drive my chevy . but why I cant find your fuckin legs I cant find the legs I cant find his legs
Tell me your secret!
perl touched my junk liberally. she strapped me in to her perl::mobile and she couldnt keep her offensive hands off of me. she was performing many red flag touches. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told perl the city would not approve of a programmer touching an underage kid for free.
it doesn't help at all that perl has been spun out after touching everyone's junk. she can hardly see straight after touching Pythons's diseased junk. how is she possibly going to explain this to the city when she doesnt help the next person in distress? they'll make her drop trou in front of the whole city again. there it is. the mayor just called and asked why perl hasn't responded. she has to go fuck::herself!
fair enough. That was flamebait...
Cheers!
perl touched my junk liberally. she strapped me in to her perl::mobile and she couldnt keep her offensive hands off of me. she was performing many red flag touches. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told perl the city would not approve of a programmer touching an underage kid for free.
it doesn't help at all that perl has been spun out after touching everyone's junk. she can hardly see straight after touching Pythons's diseased junk. how is she possibly going to explain this to the city when she doesnt help the next person in distress? they'll make her drop trou in front of the whole city again. there it is. the mayor just called and asked why perl hasn't responded. she has to go fuck::herself!
Darl here, with another fine Fr1st P0st. After all -- SCO did everything first, and the rest of the responses to this story will owe their heritage to a foundation built on SCO's staff of talented programmers.
You may be wondering why SCO salesmen are not answering your numerous calls while you try to order more SCO licenses. Well, we aren't answering the phones because we're too busy celebrating our newest business partner. Rather than explaining it myself, I'll let our formal press release do the talking. Take it away, Mr. Reuters...
LINDON, Utah, Sept. 8/PRNewswire - FirstCall/ -- The SCO Group, Inc. (Nasdaq: SCOX - News), the owner and licensor of the core UNIX operating system source code, today announced its second Fortune 500 clent for the SCO Linux IP license, the GNAA (Nasdaq: RHAT - News), developer of fine Slashdot trolls on irc.efnet.net #GNAA, also well-known for revolutionizing small business development with its "Step 2: ??????" profit model. The availability of the SCO Intellectual Property License for Linux affords Linux deployments to come into compliance with international law for the use of all 2.4 and future kernels. The run-time license permits the use of SCO's intellectual property, in binary form only, as contained in Linux distributions.
By purchasing a SCO Intellectual Property License, customers avoid infringement of SCO's intellectual property rights in Linux 2.4 and Linux 2.5 kernels and assure Darl financial security for the purchase of his second home. Because the SCO license authorizes run-time use only, customers also comply with the General Public License, under which Linux is distributed. Source may still be distributed under the terms of the GPL, however source distributors are held accountable for all violation of SCO's IP. Indemnification is provided for customers of runtime clients only. Read that twice, dirty hippy. You're not in the clear yet.
GNAA spokesperson penisbird said of the licensure, "coming into compliance affords us a new competitive advantage with the other Slashdot authors. By being in the right, we can thumb down our noses at not only the Windows users and the BSD-thieving Mac Users, but also the unwashed Linux hippies running stolen code on their parents' PCs." VP of anus enlargement goat-see added, "fr1st p0st? damn i miss. how do i next story?"
Mr. Darl McBride concurred with GNAA's analysis, adding "We soon hope to convince additional clients such as Trollklore and Cabal of Logged In Trolls of the benefits of licensing SCO's valuable IP. Also, I <3 GNAA bunny. (@.@)" JesuitX clarified the nature of the SCO and GNAA alliance, adding "We're more than just a licensing client. We're also going to be helping to bring these other potential licensors into compliance. We can break them in little by little as paying sublicensors. The alternative is pretty horrible. Our lawyers can take a reticent client from virgin to hello.jpg [figure 2] in under an hour, and believe me -- it is not pleasant."
Commander Taco was unavailable for comment, however Cowboy Kneel was said to ask for a print of [figure 2] for his basement apartment. Simoniker remained British and unable to spell "color," while Timothy responded by posting the same story six times, and Hemos reposted a seventh time, the submission differing only from his application of that damned Einstein icon.
If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.
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Stating harsh facts isn't flamebait. But nobody here expects the moderators to have a clue. See the travesty of a mockery of a sham exercised by ignorant moderation in the Paranoia story. Slashcode needs to severely punish incorrect moderation.
Squeak! Squeak!
KFG
This is because APPLE encourges its employees to post anti-Microsoft/pro-Apple things everywhere they can. They have invaded /.
On Slashdot, the Flamebait moderation means that the moderator disagreed with the poster's opinion. That's not what it is supposed to mean, but that is how I see it used most often. As a general rule, I meta mod most flamebaits as unfair. PS, someone please prove my point and mod this post flamebait.
my girlfriend told me the other day while we were in bed... "come on baby, give me a perl necklace... a facial... a makeover!"
...and i did just that
my blog
One might argue that the joke's been made so many times that it's always redundant these days.