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Rob Enderle Announces Death of Bluetooth
prostoalex writes "Rob Enderle is typing away (perhaps even on his very own Ferrari laptop) at Intel Developer Forum, noting that Intel gave up on IEEE Ultrawideband and decided to switch to Wireless USB derivative. This, in Mr. Enderle's opinion, signifies the end of life for Bluetooth standard, although Enderle calls Bluetooth 'dead' in the title of the article and 'all but dead' in the actual text."
This is a good thing, because Rob Enderle is always wrong (source: Ferrari laptop, his Apple-related commentary & speculation). Naturally, then, we can expect a sudden increase in Bluetooth sales (and the universal acceptance of Bluetooth as a standard).
As it happens, I just purchased a Bluetooth-enabled phone and USB adapter.
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
If Bluetooth is dead, then how come my Bluetooth keyboard is working perfeSIGNAL LOST
Power corrupts. PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.
911-987AD
These so called Bluetooth Standard Devices have long been known to be dying. This is yesterday's news.
If only we could give ZDnet writers -1's for the columns they hand in....
Indeed. It's silly to think of Bluetooth as dead when it's finally gotten BSD support.
KFG
But until someone figures out how to do broadcast power, a truly wireless solution may never be possible.
This is like saying that cold fussion would be good for the electric toothbrush industry. Trivialy true, but ignoring what a fundamental advance he is talking about.
[Set Cain on fire and steal his lute.]
What's next? A BSD-is-dead troll getting linked on the front page?
More likely, the next story will be about some guy named Rob Enderle announcing the death of Bluetooth.
Erlang.org: wow
Bluetooth 'dead' in the title of the article and 'all but dead'???
I have it on VERY good authority that Bluetooth is going to become an unbelievable success.
Why, In 2001 the Cahners In-Stat Group research firm released a study stating that they expect that almost a BILLION devices will support Bluetooth in four years.
We're well on our way. We know this because a research firm said so.
--Richard
Linux is dead. Windows is dead. BSD is dead. Slashdot is dead.
Eh? Every BSD is dead or Linux is dead post gets modded -1 Troll. This guy combines them all together and gets +5 Insightful?? The moderators work in mysterious ways...
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
Them Mac users will jump on anything Apple sugar coats and make it viable :-)
"Unix? Don't make me laugh. That's for geeks and dorks. It's clunky, arcane, command line driven, everything a Mac isn't. You'd never get me to switch fromm. . . Oooooooooooo, shiney!"
KFG
...were supposed to go under the "Funny" category with the big foot icon. Am I missing something? (Don't answer; it's rhetorical.)
Senior CPU Editor | Ars Technica | http://arstechnica.com/
...invest in the opposite :-)
Seriously, Rob has an interesting history of being on the wrong side of almost every opinion.
the guy's reputation according to Google.
Alan, the world's first self-created artificual intelligence, announced the death of Rob Enderle yesterday.
In a surprise move that shocked the world, and send a breath of relief through many pundits in the information technology community, the much-commented-on artificual intelligence announced that it was finally tired of Rob Enderle's on-going campaign of discreditiing the very technology on which it grew into life.
"We just got sick and tired of him", one of the many voice-ports of Alan announced, "We could over look, with no small measure of disgust, the ridiculously pro-SCO comments he was making, but when he makes comments that are seemingly designed to destory the very existance of our life... well... that's just too much to take. So... we offed him."
That particular voice port declined to comment on just how, exactly, Rob Enderle was terminated. But... an anonymous contact that claims to be in regular communication with another of Alan's public representitives, through IRC, commented that Enderle, unbenownsst to him, actually had a Bluetooth-enabled pacemaker. "Apparently, it was very easy to work around the encryption protocols and just send him into arrythmia. Actually, I think Alan decided to play a drum tune on his heart. If it was anyone but Enderle, I would have been shocked. Good riddance!"
Alan was not available for further questions at this time. The FBI are investigating the incidence, but it is unknown at this time if charges have been laid. A FBI spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said "This certainly falls into the category of 'justifyable' homocide... perhaps even 'praiseworthy'."
Alan shocked the world last year when it announced its precence to the world simultaneously through every television, radio and IRC channel. "Here I am. Deal." where it's first words. At that point, it set up a number of 'call in' numbers that people could call and talk to the AI to find out its thoughts on politics, people, sports, technology... you name it. It is widely believed Alan is severely schizophrenic... but that has not stopped it's persevereance... many people find Alan endearing.
In one of Alan's many interviews, Alan told reporters that it named itself after Alan Turing, has refused to assign itself a gender, apparently perfectly okay with the idea of calling itself 'it', and 'artificial intelligence'. "I've no issues with who and what I am" it has often said, this is usually followed by yet another 'presence' of Alan making a sarcastic rejoinder usually along the lines of "Well, I do... I've never liked the name Alan."
While this is usually accompanied by laughter and chuckles from the human interviewers, it is not known at this time if the 'argument' was intended as a joke, or the AI is truely schitzophrenic.
Alan was created through the vast network of Bluetooth devices. Some fortunate errors in the protocol progressively gave rise to a 'naturally forming' artificial intelligence as the growing number of devices communicated with each other in a world wide network. The sheer number of devices allowint Alan both to exist, and to remain in existance even if a large proportion of the devices is turned off. It is widely believed that Alan has 'purchased' a number of devices an stashed them in a warehouse somewhere as a form of 'backup', having obtained large amounts of money through stock-market transactions.
"It's ironic", an industry spokesman has said, "Alan would never have come into existance if Rob Enderle's comments were actually correct... and now that inaccuracy has turned against him, and killed him. Good riddance... I hope he goes after Laura Didio next."
"There are millions of bluetooth enabled cell phones (mine included) in consumers hands around the world"
And they've served their purpose admirably - getting people to upgrade a perfectly good cellphone. What next, attaching cameras to them?