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What Qualities are Necessary in a Good Team Lead?
Midnight Thunder asks: "We have all had our share of team leads and some of us have been in
the position ourselves. I would be curious to know what things you have appreciated from your team leads and what you didn't like. Also,
for those of you who have been in the position how you found it. The main reason I ask is because this offer has been given to me as a carrot and I would like to make the right choice, and if I take
it learn from other people's experience how to be a good lead."
Teams leads need to have these qualitys:
A beer fridge for their underlings
A freezer of mugs for their underlings
Beer for the beer fridge/mugs
A toleration for non-sober underlings
A toleration for working, but not necessarily coherant code.
Don't be a jackass to your employees.
Treat them with respect.
Remember, that their job is not their #1 priority in life. Family life always comes first.
Watch Office Space so you know how the average worker feels. Seriously.
In my teamlead when I worked at IBM :
1. He listed to heavy metal.
2. He liked surfing for porn while on the clock.
3. He shared the porn he found while surfing on the clock.
4. He let us cut out early if work was done (without docking us)
5. He was a pot-head
6. He didn't like brown-nosers
7. He didn't take shit from other departments and wouldn't subject us to it.
8. He stood up for people who actually did work, and hung out people who where fuck-ups.
Pointy hair is all you need in a team leader.
"I haven't the heart to tell him that his new shake-to-reset laptop is really an etch-o-sketch.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Take credit for your employees' good ideas and hard work. Don't recognize their contributions.
Stick to your guns. Being decisive is more important than learning from your mistakes. Changing your mind is a sign of weakness. Other points of view just undermine your authority.
Don't train your employees. Make it difficult or impossible for them to get other jobs or to do theirs with skill and enjoyment.
Reward punctuality and diligence above innovation and ingenuity. Employees' noses should be kept (a) clean, and (b) to the grindstone, not (c) "poking around in things that don't concern them." Which brings us to:
Keep secrets. Employees don't need to know about your company's mission and goals, its financial condition or even its day-to-day operation. Have lots of closed-door meetings; emerge looking mysterious and self-important.
Keep business and personal matters separate. Tell your employees to leave their problems at home. Reward long hours and penalise people who would rather spend evenings with the family than the programming. Forbid personal phone calls. Quash budding romances, discourage friendships and for heaven's sake don't have a company picnic.
Run a tight ship. Monitor everything: e-mail, pencils, photocopies (especially around tax time). No coffee at the desk (easily discouraged by charging 50 pence a cup).
Make clear distinctions between senior staff and hourly wage-earners. Regarding the latter, don't trouble to learn their names. Call the women "honey" and the men "boy." Regarding the former, take frequent long, boozy lunch breaks with them.
Pay as little as you can get away with. Don't promote. Don't be concerned about high turnover. When your employees go on strike, outsource everything overseas, where laborers know their place and there are plenty of skilled workers looking for jobs
kind of crap you spew
domineering fucktard.
That's a good indication that you're an ass.
pretend you know everything yourself, you dick.
you fascist pig.
you six cent whore.
I'm can't put my finger on it, but something tells me this is personal for you.
Yours Sincerely, Michael.
so you know how much to hold out for for bribes.
It sure as hell is... people still aren't buying my licenses.
Pay surprise visits when people call in sick. Make sure they're really home. Take their temperatures.
Anyone else expecting it to say "Take their temperatures.... rectally "?